Shattered Moon Part 8: For Love and Honor
by Spunky0ne
Summary: Renji resists Byakuya's recommendation for promotion. While Renji is on assignment in Karakura town, Byakuya disappears during a battle with hollow at the Hueco Mundo Base. Renji and the kids resolve to bring him home.
1. The Battlefield

****Just a quick intro. When I considered how I wanted to introduce the twin's shape-shifting, I found myself also wanting to weave in the story of Bya & Ren coming to terms with the fact that Renji is worthy of becoming a captain. I worked with this in a Bya/Yoru story called In Defense of My Captain. I love the way Bya/Ren worked as friends dealing with that. So I have decided to borrow some elements and scenes from that story and to play it out as a Bya/Ren love story…but it will not be a regurgitation or simple repeat of the earlier story. Some scenes are just too good to leave out, so if you read the other book, you will see some familiar things. I hope, however to make it a much different story.****

**Enjoy…and please review!**

**Prologue: The Tale of Tenrai Kougi**

Byakuya sat rested against a cherry tree at the top of his favorite waterfall, one child perched on each knee. The eight-year-olds gazed eagerly into his dark eyes, waiting in anticipation of his story. Renji sat next to Byakuya, resting against his shoulder. In truth, he enjoyed Byakuya's storytelling as much as their energetic twins did. Byakuya smiled and let his eyes drift closed for a moment. He took a sweet breath of air filled with the mingled scents of fresh water and cherry blossoms, then fell into storyteller mode. Renji and the children leaned forward to listen closely as the story began.

"There was, five hundred years ago a man named Teijo Kuchiki. Teijo was a good and honorable man, honest, hardworking, and diligent, as a noble son should be. He was a strong fighter and one who defended the laws of our land with much pride_._ Teijo built a lovely home in this place, and he filled it with a wonderful family…a family that was good and honorable. It was a family that brought great honor to the Kuchiki family name. Unfortunately, as you know, there are always those who do not have a strong sense of honor. There are those who break the laws of our land without concern and trample the rights of others. Three men, whose names have been stricken from all memory, grew jealous of Teijo's success, at the calm beauty of his life. They desired what he had…and one day they decided to take it from him. They waited until nightfall, then burst onto these grounds, and they dragged Teijo and his family from their beds and killed them. They plundered the home and left the family for dead. It was one of the most savage crimes imaginable."

Chisaki gasped in shock, her dark eyes growing large. Takeshi took hold of Byakuya's arm chattering excitedly.

"Did Teijo survive? Did he go kill them to avenge his family? I'll bet he did kill them! Crimes like that should never go unpunished. Is there magic in this story? What happened next?"

Byakuya chuckled softly, gazing down at the boy affectionately.

"If you will let me get a word in edgewise, I'll continue."

The boy nodded and Renji and Chisaki laughed. Byakuya continued.

"As I said, they plundered the home and left the family for dead…but there was something they did not know. There was something that even Teijo himself did not know."

"It's magic! I know it's magic!" cried Takeshi.

"Hey," said Renji good-naturedly, "Pipe down…we want to hear the story!"

Smiling, Byakuya went on.

"Buried deep in the Kuchiki blood, born in a place so ancient that we cannot even know its true origin, is a promise that no Kuchiki child will ever walk alone. It is said that when one of our blood is deeply wronged, the blood of our strongest ancestors will ignite and call forth the Blood Rage. This is what happened with Teijo. You see, children, Teijo did not die, even though they tried to kill him. When he woke to what the men had done, the Blood Rage ignited. Teijo felt a strength in himself that he didn't know he had. He buried and mourned his family, then he set out to avenge them."

"I knew it!" cried Takeshi.

"Yeah, you're a genius…hush, now," Renji said, grinning.

"Dressed in black and wielding a black and red zanpakuto, he dealt those men a savage death, one that made clear the fact that no wrong against our family shall stand. Those who try to break us shall, themselves, be broken. Teijo built the shrine that sits, even today, in our garden near the koi pond. He did this five hundred years ago and had his story etched into the gold. You will notice that the shrine never needs repair and that the door will not open. Only when the Blood Rage is ignited will the door open…to accept the one who will rise up from the ashes of wrongdoing as Teijo did, and spill the blood of those who would break us."

"But what is inside the shrine?" asked Chisaki.

"No one knows," Byakuya said softly, "No one will know until there is need."

The children clapped their hands and begged for another story, but Byakuya shook his head.

"I promised two young children that we would go swimming. Let's go!"

The children vacated his lap, ran for the cliff edge and leapt over, releasing spiritual pressure to slow their plunge into the water at the base of the waterfall. Water exploded in all directions as they landed. Byakuya and Renji stood watching.

"So," Renji said softly, "Is that story real?"

Byakuya nodded.

"I read it in the family histories. It is an interesting story."

"Yeah, it is. Thanks…I really enjoyed it, Byakuya."

Byakuya smiled.

"Good…I did intend for it to be entertaining as well as educational."

"Oh, it was both," Renji assured him.

Renji turned away and leapt off the cliff, floating down gracefully and splashing the children as he landed. Byakuya followed, but stunned them all by not splashing at all as he floated gracefully down and sank slowly into the water.

**Chapter 1: The Battlefield**

"So we meet here again, Renji," Byakuya's deep voice floated smoothly across Sokyoku Hill.

He studied the calm, poised gaze of his vice-captain, blinking slowly. Renji stood waiting, a flash step away, Zabimaru held ready, his reiatsu flaring around him. His eyes narrowed as he carefully watched his captain. He knew what was coming. He didn't expect Byakuya to hold back. It wasn't his way…but Renji was accustomed to that. He neither expected nor desired merciful treatment from this man, the man who he loved, and the man he had forever sought to surpass.

At first, it had all been about revenge, because of that day, so long ago, when he had taken Rukia away, when he had adopted her into the Kuchiki family, effectively erasing her from Renji's life. It wasn't until forty years later…when he became Byakuya's vice-captain…when Rukia had disappeared, that he had reconnected with his childhood friend. That action, that reconnection had caused him to turn on Byakuya, his captain…an action that should have ended their association, if not one of their lives. But fate was a strange mistress, and somehow both had survived…to grow, to change, and to forge the bond that now existed between them, the love that Renji honestly believed could carry them through anything. And they had been tested time and time again. It only served to make their connection stronger. There was no stronger Captain – Vice-Captain team in the 13 Court Guard Squads.

Still, Byakuya Kuchiki was not one to take anything for granted. He pushed Renji to excel, to constantly progress. It left his life partner wondering if there was a hidden reason, something his captain kept carefully concealed beneath those calm, dark eyes, beneath the biting sarcasm and constant corrections. Sometimes he sensed a restlessness, a small crack in the nobleman's mask…a moment's hesitation, a change in his reiatsu, an unexpected gentleness in his eyes. These things appeared and disappeared so quickly as to be maddening. It made Renji restless as well…more than that, it unnerved him.

"Come at me whenever you like, Byakuya," Renji said softly, "but be prepared…I can see your moves before you make them now."

"I see," Byakuya replied, raising his zanpakuto, "You are cocky and self-assured as always, Vice-Captain. Don't disappoint me. I don't appreciate my time being wasted."

"Then stop stalling," Renji said, his hand tightening on Zabimaru, "or could it be that you sense I've gotten stronger even since the last time we did this!"

Byakuya laughed softly.

"Stronger, perhaps," he acknowledged, still in that calm, unaffected tone, "but, Renji, you still have much to learn about patience. Impatience can undo strength…as you have learned, time and time again while facing me. I hope we don't have to repeat that same lesson yet again."

Renji flinched slightly, the anger rising. He clamped down on it immediately and moved swiftly to block the attack he knew would follow the reprimand. He wasn't disappointed. He felt the change in reiatsu as Byakuya flash-stepped and attacked, then absorbed the shock of metal on metal as Zabimaru blocked Senbonzakura's first and second strikes. Renji flash-stepped away, holding Zabimaru ready. He already felt Byakuya's next strikes coming and blocked them easily. He wasn't as well prepared for the nasty barrage of metal and kido that followed and when the attacks ceased, he felt blood cooling on his skin, the sting of the small wounds reminding him that the captain had improved as well…and should not be underestimated. Looking back at Byakuya, he noticed that several of his countermoves had connected, leaving several cuts on him as well. Renji smiled.

"Nicely defended, Renji," Byakuya intoned, that unfamiliar gentleness catching Renji's attention again, "but now the real test begins…Scatter, Senbonzakura."

Renji released Zabimaru instinctively, halting Byakuya's release.

"As expected…and without calling it's name," Byakuya observed aloud, raising his sword, holding it point-downward, "Ban Kai, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."

"Ban Kai, Hihio Zabimaru," Renji countered, bringing his skeletal snake to life.

A sea of pink blades swept towards him, but Zabimaru was already slicing through them. The snake weaved and turned, catching wave after wave of the blade attacks. Through the haze of battle, Renji spotted the motion of his captain's hands and realized the attack speed was increasing rapidly. He altered Zabimaru's attack so that the great snake's body also provided defense. Still, some of the blades broke through and closed on him. He knew what was coming next. Ignoring the approaching blades, he called out the incantation to nullify Byakuya's Six Rods Prison of Light. The flash of power that lit the air in front of him told him that he hadn't been mistaken. He heard Byakuya catch his breath.

"Hikotsu Taiho!" Renji cried.

The red blast from Zabimaru sent Byakuya flash-stepping away, then sliding backward to a stop, surprise in his usually calm features.

"Hado #4, Byakurai," he said calmly.

The captain was nearly enveloped when Zabimaru emitted a second red blast. His flash step was a moment too slow and he was driven backwards again, the shock of the impact betrayed in a flash of pain in his face. Renji nearly dropped Zabimaru. He drew the serpent back into a coil in front of him, watching Byakuya carefully.

"What's the matter, Renji," said Byakuya, the biting sarcasm plain in his voice, "Are you afraid to take this all the way? That's it, isn't it? You want to take me down…I feel it, but you are holding back. And it isn't just in battle, Renji, is it?"

Renji lowered Zabimaru, still wary, but sensing they were about to finally get to the heart of what was really behind the captain's strange behavior. Senbonzakura came down slowly and the captain's eyes came to rest on Renji. Renji waited, breathing deeply. Then the tension drained away as Byakuya sheathed his weapon. Renji sheathed his as well, but remained alert.

"You have a very odd habit, Renji, of chasing things…of chasing them until they are within your grasp…then releasing them when victory is but a breath away," Byakuya said, the dark eyes boring into Renji.

"You mean you think I could have defeated you?" he asked softly, "I don't know about that."

"It is possible," Byakuya said, closing his eyes for a moment, "Usually your Hikotsu Taiho is limited to one attack, after which your power is drained. You were able to release that attack twice in quick succession. You are also much better at fending off kido attacks. In addition, you had the element of surprise on your side. If you hadn't hesitated, you might have defeated me."

Renji stroked Zabimaru's hilt, looking away.

"Renji," Byakuya said softly, "You know what's coming."

"I know," Renji acknowledged, "and I'll give you the answer before you ask the question. You are my captain. I have no desire to change rankings."

Byakuya shifted slightly, raising his eyes.

"You cannot hold yourself back, Renji," he said calmly, "You deserve to be a captain. You have worked hard for this. You should accept my recommendation."

Renji chuckled softly.

"I have no desire to lead a division. I haven't your gift for leadership."

"That is not true, Renji," Byakuya said firmly, "You have shown yourself to be more than capable. You may still be atrocious at filing proper paperwork and your impatience sometimes interferes, but in those areas most necessary to command, you excel. Why won't you see this?"

"Why do you push me like this, Byakuya?" he snapped, the anger rising again, "You know I don't want this."

"Renji, you've spent years chasing me, trying to surpass me. Your commitment to that task is one of the reasons I came to love you. What were those efforts for, if not to reach excellence? Is it enough to know you can reach out and touch the moon if you never intend to attempt it?"

"I ask again, Byakuya…Why do you care?"

Byakuya stepped closer. Renji could feel the heavy pulse of his reiatsu. He forced himself to look into the captain's questioning eyes.

"Why do I care?" Byakuya breathed, "Do you really need to ask that? I would think that the reasons would be obvious to you, Renji. Even if you didn't have my heart, you have served me faithfully for years, watching my back and following my commands, even when you hated me. Somewhere along the line, you stopped hating me and the reasons for your behavior changed. Your reasons are no longer clear to me. What is it you intend to gain by holding yourself back and refusing to remove yourself from my shadow?"

"Why don't you want me at your side, Byakuya?"

Surprise flickered in Byakuya's eyes…surprise and a measure of confusion.

"Is that what you think?" he asked, a pale hand rising to touch Renji's cheek, "Why would you think that, Renji?"

Renji shifted uncomfortably.

"C'mon, Byakuya," he said, his voice tense, "We both know you've been pushing hard for me to move up. You've been at me in the office, on the battlefield, at home, every chance you get to remind me that I don't belong here! Why?"

Byakuya sighed.

"Again, though you know I hate repeating myself, you have proven yourself ready. I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't notice and acknowledge that."

"I appreciate it, Captain," Renji replied, smiling, "but I don't want this. Right now, all I want is to follow you onto the battlefield and be the one to watch your back."

"Why?"

Renji shrugged.

"It's pretty simple really. I love you, Byakuya…and I look forward to sitting in that office with you every day, crossing swords with you, and knowing that I will be at your side to protect you when you need it. Besides, life with you is never boring."

Now Byakuya smiled.

"Never that," he acknowledged, "I deeply appreciate your loyalty to me, but will you never step forward and claim what you deserve?"

"I'll think about it…and let you know if I change my mind."

"Typical," Byakuya said, the sarcasm returning, "but I will convince you, Renji. I won't let this go."

"No," Renji said pulling him close and placing a gentle kiss on his lips, "I don't expect you will…and I love you for that…"


	2. Return to Hueco Mundo

**Chapter 2: Return to Hueco Mundo**

Byakuya looked up at the remaining pile of paperwork, thankful for the peace and quiet in the usually busy 6th Division office. Renji was due back from a vice captain's meeting at any moment and the last time he had seen Rikichi, the third seat had been pursuing a hell butterfly that flew out the door and left before delivering its message. The 6th Division Captain was stunned that such an accomplished officer continued to be plagued with such a basic deficiency…but he more than made up for it in all other areas. Byakuya felt inclined to grant a bit of leeway. After all, every soul reaper had an Achilles' heel. Renji, Ichigo, and Takeo had issues with reiatsu sensing. With Rikichi, it was hell butterflies. With Byakuya…The captain refused to let himself dwell on it. He was not going to allow the thought to form. If it did, it might be given life. He couldn't afford to let that happen.

The door opened suddenly and Rikichi burst in, sweaty and panting. Byakuya looked up at him, waiting.

"Sir! I have a confidential message from Head Captain Yamamoto!" he said quickly, handing the captain a folded slip of paper.

"Arigato, Rikichi, you may go," Byakuya said, calmly taking the note from his hand.

"B-but sir," Rikichi continued, still catching his breath, "he asked me to bring your response to him personally."

"Ah…I see. One moment then."

Byakuya opened the message and a dark feeling enveloped him.

_-Captain Kuchiki,_

_The stealth force reports that there may be a threat to the Hueco Mundo Recon Base. Reiatsu shifts and unexplained sightings of strong hollow in the area suggest the threat is credible. The base needs reinforcement in case the attack comes before more can be determined. I want you to lead a relief force. Take scouts, fighters and healers. When you arrive at the base, have the scouts search the perimeters, but be cautious…several scouts from the base have disappeared. Set alert lines and barriers. Then protect the base until the stealth force reports in. Be cautious…take no chances. I sense something very dangerous at work here. Send your placement choices back to me and send a messenger to receive placements from Captain Unohana._

_Head Captain Yamamoto_

He considered the message for a moment, then turned back to Rikichi.

"This will take a minute or two. See if you can't make some kind of dent in the stack of reports on the vice-captain's desk."

"Hai, Captain," Rikichi said, bowing.

"Arigato, Rikichi," the captain replied, turning back to the head captain's note.

A half hour later, Byakuya sealed the two messages and looked up at Rikichi. His eyes widened slightly. Rikichi sat in Renji's chair, bent over one of the reports. This was not such an unusual sight, but what was unusual was the fact that everything on the vice-captain's desk had been straightened and the stack of reports had shrunk noticeably. It was, in fact, the neatest the vice-captain's desk had been since Renji took the post. Byakuya cleared his throat softly. Rikichi looked up.

"Rikichi, go to the Squad 4 headquarters and deliver this message to Captain Unohana. Wait for her response, then return with her message and mine to the head captain."

"Yes, sir," the 3rd seat said, rising.

"And Rikichi," Byakuya continued, "you will be joining me tonight on a scouting mission to the Hueco Mundo outpost. When you return, see that you prepare for the mission."

"Yes, sir!" he answered, unable to contain the enthusiasm in his voice.

He took the messages from his captain and raced out the door, nearly flattening Renji as the vice-captain entered the room.

"What the…Rikichi! Ah, never mind…" Renji sighed.

He turned toward his desk and his eyes narrowed.

"What the…" he muttered, "My desk is never that clean…"

He seemed to suddenly realize that he wasn't alone in the office and turned toward his captain. Byakuya could barely conceal the amusement in his eyes.

"Renji," Byakuya said, lowering his eyes to the reports on his desk.

"Hai, Captain," Renji said falling into his chair.

He scanned the reports Rikichi had finished, nodding his approval. Taking the next unfinished report, he scanned the page, scribbling in his notes. Byakuya could tell that his mind was still replaying their training session. There was a tension between them. Byakuya was waiting for his reaction and Renji was uncertain how to respond.

"Rikichi is very efficient," Byakuya said suddenly, trying to break the silence.

Instead, his voice startled Renji and sent the pen flying out of his hand.

Renji rolled his eyes and got up to retrieve his pen.

"Yeah," he agreed, "he's come a long way."

"He is well beyond the seat he occupies," Byakuya said, stating the obvious.

"I guess that goes without saying," Renji commented, looking up.

"Well, it's hardly surprising," the captain responded, "You have been working closely with him for some time now."

"Yeah, it's been a lot of fun," Renji said, turning back to his report.

He didn't want to get Byakuya started again. He was avoiding the issue, so the captain changed tactics.

"Renji,"

He met his captain's eyes questioningly.

"The head captain has asked me to take a detachment to the Hueco Mundo outpost. I plan to take Rikichi with me. I thought that, perhaps you might have other tasks here to attend to…"

Renji was already shaking his head.

"No way…sir."

Byakuya's eyebrows rose sternly.

"Captain…I've got no problem with him going along. Obviously, he can handle himself under fire, but this…a serious mission into Hueco Mundo? It's not just hollow hunting in the living world. There have been sightings of Sosuke Aizen in the area. There could be an attack."

"There could always be an attack, Renji," Byakuya reminded him gently, "No mission is really safe. We both know that. However, Rikichi has improved to the point where I feel this mission will be an appropriate test of his skills. I am confident in his ability to act at the level of a vice captain. But such ability needs to be tested if he is to grow. Do you understand?"

"I do…but…"

Byakuya sighed softly.

"You feel he needs better guidance than I can give him?" he asked quietly.

"No, Byakuya, you know I could never claim that. I just…I feel like I should be there…this time, maybe just in the background."

"Renji…tell me honestly. Do you worry for Rikichi, or are you worried for me?"

"What do you think?" he asked softly, "It's both, I guess, but I'll admit that I can't stand the thought of you going there without me. A lot happened to us there…Aizen, spirit wolves…I don't know. I just…I admit to being worried as someone who loves you, but it's more than that. No matter how you push me to move up, I'm still your vice captain. It is my most important duty to protect you. And if you go there, I want to be there to honor that duty."

Byakuya realized that he was not going to win this argument…and he had to admit to himself That Renji did have a valid point.

"Very well, Renji. Be ready to leave tonight."

"Tonight? But…" he said, staring at the remaining reports.

"Write swiftly…I'm certain your penmanship won't suffer. I can't imagine it could get any worse," Byakuya said, rising and starting for the door.

"Byakuya," Renji said softly.

The captain stopped at the door, his back to Renji.

"Arigato…not just for letting me come to Hueco Mundo…but for earlier, too."

Byakuya turned and looked him full in the eyes, calm, betraying nothing.

"And will I see you at home for dinner?" he asked.

Renji chuckled softly.

"Count on it."

XXXXXXXXXX

"You're home earlier than expected," commented Byakuya, greeting Renji with a warm embrace and an even sweeter kiss, "I imagine your reports will be nearly illegible."

"Are you complaining?" Renji asked, placing a warm palm on Byakuya's cheek and drawing him in for another kiss.

Byakuya's answer is lost in the gentle play of his life partner's mouth over his.

"That's what I thought," Renji mumbled, still kissing him, "Where are Chisaki and Takeshi?"

"Yoruichi already left with them…had to…because of the Hueco Mundo assignment."

"Takeo?"

"He's with Ichigo on assignment in Karakura Town."

"Rukia?"

"With her squad. We're alone, save for the household staff, Renji."

He nodded, smiling.

He caught the edge of Byakuya's silken scarf and pulled it free, dropping it onto a chair. The captain's haori came off next and was tossed down alongside. Renji slipped the gloves from his lover's wrists and reached for his kenseiken. Byakuya's hands rose quickly as the kenseiken caught a few hairs. Wincing, he pulled it the rest of the way out. Renji was already pulling him towards the hallway that led to their bedroom. Realizing that resistance was useless, Byakuya followed.

"Renji, wait," he breathed.

"Oh no you don't," Renji said, placing a hand on Byakuya's lips, "No talk session…no moaning and groaning over the prospect of another lousy mission in Hueco Mundo. You aren't going to ruin this. Whatever it is, it can wait. If we have to go to that damned place for a few days, I want to enjoy some time alone with you while I can. You know we can't be together there."

Byakuya nodded silently. Renji took his hands again and they slipped into their room, closing the door behind them. Then Renji's mouth descended on Byakuya's and his hands moved to untie the belt at his captain's waist. Byakuya untied his belt as well and both shihakushou slid to the floor with a soft swish. Renji pulled him down onto the bed, his mouth teasing the soft, pale skin of Byakuya's throat, his fingers buried in his lover's silken hair. Byakuya's hands slid down Renji's shoulders, tracing their way down his back and tightening on his hips, pulling him closer. Renji captured an earlobe with his lips and traced the shell of an ear with his tongue, releasing a warm breath that sent a soft shiver through his lover that he could feel too. Byakuya moaned softly, releasing the pent up tension with a gentle sigh.

"That's more like it," Renji breathed, "Relax, Byakuya. Stop thinking about this mission for a while. We have time. Let's just take it easy and enjoy this."

It was all too easy for Byakuya to yield. Renji's mouth pursued his relentlessly and his body held Byakuya's firmly. His hands threaded through the captain's hair and then played over him with touches both light and intense that ignited the passion and brought his body up sharply against Renji's, silently pleading for release. Renji eagerly fed his lover's desire, moving his body against Byakuya's until the captain's eyes became wild with want and his soft words became incoherent moans of pleasure and need.

Renji loved knowing that he could make Byakuya react with so much intensity, with glazed eyes, taut muscles, and such beautiful sounds that made Renji feel dizzy with pleasure.

And while Renji's body pleasured his, Byakuya trailed kisses down his neck, and traced the black tattoos with eager lips and searching fingers. His hands found Renji's and their fingers laced together.

Renji parted his legs and sank downward, bringing their bodies together and earning a contented gasp from Byakuya. He moved faster now, his own desire for release growing until he couldn't hold back. He looked down into Byakuya's half-opened eyes, falling into their depths and letting them carry him over the edge and into oblivion. Byakuya's body trembled beneath his and Renji heard his name released in a harsh, breathless whisper. He let his weight drop down and buried himself in Byakuya's arms, exhausted and smiling.

"Kami, I'm going to miss being with you like this while we're away…" he murmured.

Byakuya didn't say anything in response, but his dark eyes told Renji that he felt the same.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Set the boundary here," Renji told the scout, scanning the desert briefly, "This will be the outer marker. See Rikichi, the rocks and cover make this area easier to defend. The alert lines are already set further out there…see them?"

"Yes, sir."

"This area is also ripe for an attack. The same features that give us cover will offer our enemies cover as well. Just something we need to be aware of…"

He was interrupted by a huge explosion, just outside the alert lines. He turned back to the third seat.

"Get Captain Kuchiki," Renji ordered, "Sound the alarm!"

"Right!" Rikichi shouted turning back to the base.

He hadn't taken more than a couple of steps when Byakuya appeared flanked by a team of fighters and healers. They swept past Rikichi drawing him back to the battlefield. He returned to Renji as Byakuya reached him and the detachment fanned out around them. Hollow power pounded the barrier, shaking the ground under their feet. Byakuya gazed at the center of the barrier, watching intently as the force of the hollow attack grew.

"Alternating formation," Byakuya called out calmly, "keep the lines moving."

He moved into the rocks, climbing slowly to higher ground and watching the lines form beneath him. He reached a small outcropping and drew Senbonzakura, increasing his spiritual pressure until the ground rumbled softly around him. He waited patiently, his eyes on the hollow outside the barrier.

"Renji!" he called back to the vice captain.

"Alright!" Renji shouted, "Together!"

A chorus of voices rose up chanting an incantation as Byakuya raised a kido shield around the group. As his shield rose, the barrier collapsed under the weight of the hollow attack and the hollow burst through. As the fighters finished their incantation, Byakuya briefly dropped the shield and a huge field of blue spheres rose up and bore down on the hollow. The attacks blasted through the hollow, burning many into nothing, tossing many aside, but leaving the stronger ones to bear down on the base's defenders. Now the zanpakuto roared to life all around the battlefield. Above them, Byakuya raised his zanpakuto and released it.

"Ban Kai, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."

The lines of huge swords rose around him, catching the attention of the hollow below and several of them broke away, intending to charge up the hill after Byakuya. They were quickly swept away as the captain's attack burst over them, raking them with light pink blades. Byakuya gazed out over the desert and his heart froze. In the distance, a lone figure watched the battle…an Arrancar. He looked down at the battlefield. Rikichi now held the shield as the fighters prepared a second volley. Renji stood looking up at his captain, their eyes exchanging thoughts faster than words could.

"Ban Kai, Hihio Zabimaru!" Renji cried, bringing his zanpakuto to life. The skeletal serpent formed quickly and raced toward Byakuya. The captain caught the head of the beast and Renji sent them flying over the battlefield. As they moved behind enemy lines, Zabimaru released a blast into the hollow, scattering them and leaving Byakuya with a clear path to the Arrancar. Already in Ban Kai mode, Byakuya leapt from the back of Zabimaru and attacked the Arrancar. As the two clashed, Zabimaru swayed and turned, attacking any who approached the captain and the Arrancar. Suddenly, Renji spotted movement behind the two combatants, out of Zabimaru's reach.

"Hikotsu Taiho!" he cried, sending red fire in the direction of the movement.

As the Arrancar fell, he swept Zabimaru back toward Byakuya. He saw a dark form move swiftly out of the shadows, bearing down on the captain as he started to turn. Time seemed to slow maddeningly. Zabimaru reached for Byakuya as the dark form swung a clawed hand out to strike at him. Sensing the move, Byakuya tore free of Zabimaru, bringing his sword around, stopping the creature's attack. Hollow were closing in on him now, realizing that the attack on the base had failed and looking for revenge.

"Captain!" yelled Renji, sending another red blast through the enemies.

His knees began to feel weak. Gathering all he had left, he sent Zabimaru flying again towards Byakuya and caught him, just as the dark form in front of him fell. Renji breathed a sigh of relief as Zabimaru returned, gently setting Byakuya on the ground beside the vice-captain.

"Good timing, Abarai," Byakuya said, breathing heavily from the exertion of battle.

"Yeah, thanks," Renji sighed, letting Zabimaru return to his sealed form.

"That was amazing!" Rikichi said excitedly, his smudged face wreathed in smiles, "I've never seen anything like that."

"Thanks, Rikichi," said Renji, smiling, "Good job holding the shield. Your timing was spot on."

"Make an encampment here in the rocks," Byakuya ordered, "Reset the alert lines and barriers. They will come back."

Renji sat next to Rikichi, watching the alert sensors in the distance. He checked to make sure the other perimeter guards remained alert, then glanced back to where Byakuya lay sleeping on stomach, his head resting on his arms. The captain's reiatsu was calm and quiet now. Renji turned back to Rikichi.

"You did well today, Rikichi," he said softly, "The captain is right. You are definitely working at vice captain level.

"Thanks," came the quiet reply, "but you and Captain Kuchiki were the really amazing ones. You know, they're right when they say that you two are the best. It's like you can read each other's thoughts."

"You saw that, huh?" Renji asked, smiling into the night, "Well that takes time to grow, Rikichi. We had to face many battles before we learned to work together like that."

Behind them, Byakuya's eyes opened.

"At first, you know, I hated him."

Rikichi nodded.

"Because of Rukia," he said softly in acknowledgement.

"Yeah…when he adopted her into the Kuchiki family, it took her out of my life. I hated him for that. But it didn't make me avoid him. I became obsessed. It consumed me. When I accepted the vice-captain position, I didn't give a damn about protecting him or earning his respect. I just wanted to beat him. I tried and tried, but I never could…not even when Rukia's life was on the line. Then…when he was the one who saved her…"

"What happened up there? I know you and Captain Kuchiki tried to save Rukia from Sosuke Aizen and you were both badly hurt…but…"

"Aizen revealed his plans and then he ordered Gin to kill Rukia. I was frozen there on the ground and I couldn't move. Ichigo was down as well. We couldn't save her. All at once…I felt the captain's reiatsu. I…it didn't register right away why he was there, but then I felt the urgency and…I felt the panic. It was so strange. I'd never known him to show that kind of emotion. It seemed like everything slowed to a crawl. I could see his steps as he reached Rukia and pulled her out of the way. I saw his expression and I swear I will never forget it…the determination, the flash of fear, then there was this sort of calm acceptance. He was unarmed because Ichigo broke Senbonzakura just before that. He saw the sword coming and I could tell he knew he couldn't get out of the way. The irony of that moment will always be with me because this man, the one I'd hated, the one I'd never cared about protecting was suddenly willing to give his life for Rukia…and all I could think of is how I failed him in that moment. A vice-captain should always be there for his captain, Rikichi. In the defense of his captain, the vice captain should be willing to yield up his life."

"But Renji, you were injured…"

"It doesn't matter, Rikichi. You'll understand someday, the responsibility…and hopefully you won't have to learn it like I did…by nearly losing your captain. Then you'll understand the vow I made…the one I honor now. Nothing will touch him while I defend him, Rikichi."

"Is that why you don't want to be a captain, Renji?" Rikichi asked softly.

Renji sighed.

"I…don't know what I want, exactly. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I watch his back. I owe him…I owe him a debt I can never repay."

"You know he doesn't think that way, Renji," Rikichi said softly, "He knows you are ready. We all do. The other captains even talk about it. You would be a great captain."

"I won't leave him, Rikichi," Renji said, staring out into the desert, "Before I could do that, I'd have to know who would be watching his back. It would have to be someone I felt was strong enough to do that like I do…and you don't find that every day…"

Renji looked up in acknowledgement as the next shift of guards arrived. He moved over and laid down next to Byakuya, resting his head lightly on his captain's back, gazing up at the stars. Byakuya shifted softly.

"Renji," he breathed sleepily.

"Hai, Captain," Renji replied, his eyes still on the night sky.

"You should get some sleep."

"I know. It's just…full mind…too many thoughts."

"Hmm, well, here's something else to occupy your mind. It is time for scheduled reviews of our living world assignees, so after we leave Hueco Mundo, you and I will take a couple of days off to spend with the children, then you must go to the living world. You should be able to complete the assessments within a week or so."

"Aw…can't you send Rikichi? You said he's functioning like a vice captain…" Renji moaned.

"Well, Renji, you were the one who insisted that certain duties are yours. As vice captain, it falls to you to conduct these reviews," Byakuya reminded him teasingly.

Renji chuckled softly and felt Byakuya's silent laughter beneath his head. He felt more relaxed now, the soft rise and fall of Byakuya's breathing lulling him toward sleep. He had almost drifted off when Byakuya's voice rose up softly from beneath his head.

"Renji,"

"Hai, Captain,"

"I want you to do something for me…while you are away."

"Hmm?"

"I want you to give careful consideration to what I said at Sokyoku Hill. Wait…hear me out. I just want you to think about it. Please…Renji. Do this as a personal favor."

Renji sighed.

"Hai, Captain…as a personal favor."

"Arigato, Renji."

Renji breathed deeply, sinking further into Byakuya's back.

"No, Byakuya…Thank you."

Byakuya's reiatsu released slowly around him and Renji allowed it to move through him, finally taking his mind off of his worries and allowing him to drift off to sleep. Above them, the stars over Hueco Mundo moved slowly across the sky.


	3. Emergence

**Chapter 3: Emergence**

_Renji saw himself back on the battlefield, the skeletal snake turning and shifting in front of him. It turned and swept toward Byakuya. He caught hold of it and soared over the reach of the mass of hollow…behind enemy lines. He dropped down to attack the waiting Arrancar, his zanpakuto glowing with pink light. But as they fought, dangerous eyes watched. As the Arrancar fell at Byakuya's feet, Renji heard an eerily calm voice rise up behind him. He was frozen and the skeletal snake disappeared._

_"Welcome back to Hueco Mundo," the voice said softly._

_Golden light flared. The katana dropped from Byakuya's hand and he slowly sank to the ground at Sosuke Aizen's feet._

"_Byakuya!"_

"Renji," Byakuya said softly, "What is it? Why did you yell like that? I think you woke half the encampment."

Sure enough, Rikichi was nearby, peering through the darkness at Renji, checking to be certain he was okay. Renji waved him off.

"Sorry, Byakuya…bad dream."

"About me?" he asked.

Renji sat up next to the captain and Byakuya rose to join him.

"Yeah…probably just left over adrenaline from the fighting. I'll be fine."

He nodded and settled again. Renji hesitated for a moment, then his head came to rest on Byakuya's back again. He felt his captain sigh and begin to drift off.

"I hate this place," Renji whispered, "I always get a creepy feeling when we come here."

"Sleep, Renji," Byakuya breathed gently, "All is well."

He released his reiatsu and let it wrap around Renji, the warmth of it lulling him back to sleep. Renji suffered the same strange dream twice more before daylight arrived and they returned to the main building of the base. He was secretly glad when they received word that the stealth force had arrived and they would be going home. He stayed close to Byakuya, not wanting to seem unduly anxious, but feeling an urgency to see to his captain's protection and wanting to get him away from this place as quickly as possible. It struck him as odd that the dark feeling inside refused to leave him even as they passed out of Hueco Mundo and into the living world.

"Renji, what is wrong?" Byakuya asked, concern in his eyes.

Renji wanted to kick himself for being too obvious, but in a way he was glad that Byakuya had noticed.

"It's nothing, Byakuya. Just…didn't sleep well in Hueco Mundo."

Byakuya studied Renji carefully as they continued walking.

"No," he said quietly, "There's something more at work here. You're very anxious, Renji. Your reiatsu is pulsing with it."

"Sorry…I guess that dream just kind of got to me," Renji admitted.

Byakuya nodded.

"I thought that might be it. Do you wish to talk about it?" he asked, stopping for a moment.

Renji stopped and looked back at him, thinking.

"I just have a feeling, Byakuya. I don't know what it is…it started before we got to Hueco Mundo, and I think it's why I had that dream."

"Well, Renji," Byakuya said, touching his arm, "that place always affects me, as well. A lot happened to us there. It makes sense that it would make you anxious…but, if you don't mind taking a little detour, I think I can help."

"You can?"

Byakuya smiled.

"Well, I hope to, anyway. Come, Renji. Shunpo…and don't be slow!"

He disappeared in a flash step.

"Byakuya…"

Renji flash stepped after, trailing him and trying to catch up. But the captain's flash step was brutally fast and it was a struggle not to lose him as the streets went by in a haze. Renji finally sensed that he had stopped and appeared next to him. Byakuya gave him a disapproving look that told him he didn't appreciate the fact that his vice captain kept him waiting, then turned away and walked into a small park. Renji caught his breath as he realized where they were.

"Byakuya…this is where you brought me…that first night."

Byakuya nodded.

Renji stepped to the center of the park as Byakuya stood at the edge watching. Byakuya extended a pale hand and two hollow rose up near Renji, attacking instantly. Zabimaru rose up and slashed at them. The hollow screeched and faded into nothing. They were not real hollow, just simulations, for this was a training ground…a place they had visited the first night after Renji had become Byakuya's vice captain.

Byakuya raised the difficulty of the simulation and the number and level of the hollow Renji fought continued to grow. It grew until the vice captain was at the peak of his ability, attacking and defending with zanpakuto, flash step and kido as Byakuya watched, his eyes shining. Finally, he ended the simulation and Renji walked slowly back, breathing heavily from the exertion. Byakuya waited calmly, watching Renji.

"Renji," he said, when his vice captain reached him, "how do you feel now?"

"Better," Renji told him, "that really helped…arigato."

"Good," Byakuya said, his eyes on Renji's, "I usually find that if I am having trouble with my focus…or with anxiety, it helps for me to return to a simpler time…do you understand, Renji?"

"Yeah," Renji said, still catching his breath, "I think I do."

"Very well, then we are finished here."

"Wait," Renji said, "Before we go, will you…do something for me, Byakuya?"

Byakuya tilted his head in askance, his eyes curious.

"I would just like to see you do this. You don't have to if you don't want to, but…"

"Ah…" he said softly, "As you wish, Renji."

He moved into the center of the park and the hollow rose around him. His eyes drifted slowly closed. Renji watched, entranced, as Byakuya flash stepped and spun, taking out four hollow in a smooth precise motion that happened so quickly, Renji could barely see it. The number and level of hollow increased, and Byakuya's speed and precision increased with it.

_I remember that first time he brought me here, _thought Renji, _It was just after my promotion. I got the feeling he was testing me out, kind of like what a child does with a brand new toy. That pissed me off a little, but after he was done torturing me…he did this. I asked him to, just like now…and he did this for me. So fast, so precise, so deadly…I wanted so badly to be that skilled. I'm good…way better now, but even if I can test him on the battlefield, there are some places where I know I'll never approach his ability. The difference is that now I feel okay with that. Now I feel like being myself is good enough._

The hollow reached nearly Espada level and still the captain did not release his zanpakuto. His movements were beyond Renji's comprehension now, his haori, scarf and hair swirling wildly until he could barely tell Byakuya was still there. Finally, the hollow disappeared and Byakuya stepped toward Renji, looking as flushed and exhilarated as Renji felt. He stood for a moment, catching his breath, far more quietly than Renji had. Byakuya gazed at him silently.

"That was…beautiful, Byakuya. Arigato."

Byakuya blinked slowly.

"Better now?" he inquired softly.

"Yeah," Renji said, smiling, "much better."

They turned away from the park and headed into Karakura Town. Soon they reached Kisuke Urahara's shop. As they approached, the door of the shop flew open and Takeshi flash stepped out, with Chisaki on his heels. Takeshi nearly flattened Renji, while Chisaki leapt lightly into Byakuya's arms. They spent a few moments, exchanging hugs and kisses, while Yoruichi and Kisuke watched from the doorway.

"Look's like they missed you two," commented Kisuke.

They walked back into the shop together and stepped into the dining room for lunch. As they ate, the twins chattered excitedly about their visit and begged Byakuya to tell them about the battle in Hueco Mundo. Glancing at Renji, he told them he would tell stories later and changed the subject by asking Yoruichi how things went during the twins' visit.

"Oh, they were great!" she said, smiling, "We had so much fun! And if you're finished, the twins actually have something that they want to show you. They've been working on it nearly the whole time you've been gone."

They got up from the table and followed Kisuke and Yoruichi down into the training room. The twins moved away and stood side by side, looking back at them, huge smiles on their faces.

"Chisaki," said Yoruichi, "you go first."

Chisaki nodded, her dark eyes sparkling. She clasped her hands together and raised her spirit energy. Byakuya's eyes grew intense as he watched, now realizing what they are about to see. They had known it would happen for some time, but hadn't been sure when it would happen.

Blue light flared around Chisaki and her eyes flashed with power. Then, almost faster than they can follow with their eyes, her body began to change. Her body became smaller and her black hair turned feathery. Her arms became sleek wings and her legs grew curved claws at the ends. In the end, they find themselves looking at a beautiful black hawk.

Chisaki rose into the air, wings beating, and she hovered, increasing in size until she rivaled Rikichi's eagle in size. Then she slowly returned to normal size and shifted back to human form.

"She will eventually be able to carry people. Right now, because she is so young, it takes effort to maintain her hawk form, to change it, and to carry any significant weight. As she grows older, she will hold the form, shift forms, and carry greater weights with much less effort. She can attack with claws and beak. Later, she will develop special attacks that she'll discover on her own," Yoruichi explained.

"Magnificent…" breathed Byakuya.

"My turn!" cried Takeshi, bouncing up and down excitedly.

"Go ahead," said Yoruichi, nodding.

"Okay, mom!" he shouted happily.

He knelt and placed his palms on the ground, focusing and gathering his spirit energy in a blaze of red fire that surrounded him and flashed outward so brightly that they couldn't see the moment of transformation. As the light faded, they spotted a large red wolf, with fur the rich red color of Takeshi's hair, and wild brown eyes. He curled his lips back in a wicked looking snarl and charged at Renji, knocking him flat and then prancing on his chest, yipping like a puppy.

"Takeshi can attack with claws and teeth and, as with Chisaki, he will gain special attacks and greater power and endurance as he ages," said Yoruichi.

Takeshi shifted back to human form and laughed as Renji give him a gentle shove and they climbed back to their feet.

"Did you like it, Dad?" he shouted at Byakuya, running and jumping into his arms.

Byakuya gave him an affectionate hug.

"That was amazing, Takeshi," he said, smiling.

"Now, you kids remember what Yoruichi told you," Kisuke said firmly, "No misusing your animal forms for fighting with each other. Don't show them to other people without permission from your parents, and no using your forms to double team your parents, either."

"Okay!" the twins shouted together.

Byakuya set Takeshi down and turned to Yoruichi and Kisuke.

"Thanks for helping out. The stealth force has taken over management of the Hueco Mundo Recon Base, so we shouldn't need to return any time soon. Renji and I are going to take a couple of days off to spend time with the twins. Renji will be returning to the living world after that to conduct assessments of our soul reapers on assignment."

"Would you like me to come and stay at the manor while Renji is gone?" asked Yoruichi, "You could probably use someone to train with the children while you are working."

"Yoruichi, you are always welcome to come to the manor, but Rukia will be there to help out with the children."

"I might come anyway," said Yoruichi, "I like spending time with Rukia. And I can help the children continue supervised practice with their animal forms."

"That would be good," Byakuya agreed, "I shall see that a room is prepared for you."

They took their leave of Yoruichi and Kisuke and headed for the Senkaimon.

"Shunpo race!" cried Takeshi, flash stepping away.

The rest flash stepped after and the chase was on. Houses, trees, fences and people went by in a haze as they raced forward. Renji reached the Senkaimon a step ahead of Takeshi, but Byakuya was already there, and a lovely black hawk rested stoically on his shoulder.

"You cheated!" yelled Takeshi, shifting to wolf form and charging towards Byakuya.

He leapt into the air, snapping at Chisaki. She rose into the air, screeching at him and beating her wings.

"Hey, you two!" Renji called out warningly.

But they were out of hearing already, dashing away in a mad race for the manor. Byakuya and Renji slowed to walk at a more leisurely pace.

"I have a feeling," Renji told Byakuya, " that things are going to be a lot more chaotic from now on."

"Renji, things are always chaotic with young children," he said softly, "The thing is never to show fear…and to think one step ahead."

"Kind of like doing battle?" Renji laughed.

"Exactly, Renji," he said, looking completely serious.

"Hey, what are we doing while we're off with the kids?" Renji asked.

"I was thinking we could do a small training mission," Byakuya suggested, "There is an area of the forest near the Hueco Mundo border that we are studying for signs of enemy crossings. The area itself is not considered dangerous, but it does offer the opportunity to study reiatsu trails."

"Reiatsu trails," Renji groaned, "Byakuya, I look so stupid when we try to follow those damned trails!"

"Well, Renji, the only way to overcome a challenge is to admit you have a problem and then tackle it," Byakuya said blithely, "And if you are really worried about it, you can track with Chisaki and I will work with Takeshi."

"All right…at least it won't be like last time. Takeshi is really following in my footsteps. It was like the blind leading the blind!"

"You're not that bad, Renji," Byakuya assured him, "and you are improving. I wouldn't lose hope just yet."

"Not yet, huh?" Renji repeated, looking offended.

Byakuya just smiled and kept walking.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Remember," Byakuya told the children, "Each of you has a mission to complete and

a captain to protect. Takeshi, you have me, Captain Kuchiki…and Chisaki, you will be with Captain Abarai. Takeshi and I will take the northern path and the two of you will take the southern path. We will meet back here in one hour to give our reports. You need to tell me how many trails you sensed, how long it has been since they passed, and how powerful the creatures are. Now, go!"

Byakuya followed as Takeshi started up the northern trail, reaching out with his own senses to be certain the boy did not miss anything. He sensed a faint trail, but waited for a time to allow Takeshi to pick up on it. After a while, it became clear to Byakuya that this old trail was beyond the boy's ability.

"Takeshi," he called softly.

The boy appeared at his side.

"I want you to look carefully here. Do you see the markers?"

The boy shook his head.

"I still can't see them…but if I use my wolf form, I can do better," he said, brightening.

"Very well," Byakuya said, "Give it a try."

Takeshi focused and his red wolf form appeared beside Byakuya. The wolf sniffed and stared.

"I have it now, Dad," he told Byakuya, "The trail is at least one week old. It was made by a mid level hollow."

"Very good, Takeshi. Let's continue."

They walked on for several minutes before Takeshi tensed and growled softly. Byakuya dropped to his knees at the boy's side, pulling the wolf close and motioning for him to keep silent. They stayed concealed in the bushes, watching as two hollow appeared on the trail and started in their direction. Byakuya drew his weapon. Takeshi growled softly again, watching his father closely.

"Takeshi…you must lower your spiritual pressure," Byakuya whispered in warning, "They will sense you."

The hollow turned.

"What is this?" he said, spotting the red fur of the wolf in the bushes.

The two hollow approached and Byakuya came to his feet, zanpakuto in hand.

"Leave this place," Byakuya warned them, "Leave now or I will destroy you."

The hollow spotted the captain's haori and kept their distance.

"Well now, you're not very neighborly. We were just taking a walk in the lovely forest. There are no forests in Hueco Mundo."

"Leave," Byakuya repeated, raising his zanpakuto.

The red wolf pressed close to him, curling back its teeth and snarling.

"What a pretty little puppy," said one of the hollow.

The hollow disappeared and Byakuya sensed its flash step. He pushed Takeshi behind him and brought his weapon around to slash at the hollow as it attempted to reach Takeshi. As the first hollow spun away from his blade, the second attacked. Byakuya leapt forward and engaged the second hollow, mindful that the first was turning toward him again. He heard the wolf snarl and felt Takeshi's reiatsu flare. His eyes widened and he caught his breath.

"Scatter, Senbonzakura."

Pink petal blades slashed at the hollow he faced. Byakuya turned swiftly and flash stepped between Takeshi and the hollow his son was about to attack.

"Hado #33, Soukatsui!"

Blue fire flashed from his hands, tearing into the hollow and blasting it into dust. Byakuya turned back to be certain that he had destroyed the other hollow. He sensed that it was gone.

"Aw! I could have beaten that hollow!" Takeshi complained, shifting back to soul reaper form.

Byakuya motioned for him to sit and sat down himself.

"Takeshi," he said calmly, "your wolf form is very strong, but the hollow we faced were beyond you in both power and experience. You should have been able to sense that. Had you stopped to read their reiatsu, you would have known to back off and let your captain handle the situation."

Takeshi looked sheepish.

"I forgot…I just wanted to fight like you," the boy said, looking up at Byakuya with wide eyes.

Byakuya placed a supportive hand on his son's shoulder.

"You are going to be a strong soul reaper, but you must have patience. It takes years of training to prepare for combat. I am certain that, with time, you will be ready, but for now, you must let me protect you."

"Byakuya!" Renji's voice called out through the trees. He burst into the clearing, Chisaki flying alongside him, "We sensed hollows. Are you two okay?"

"We are fine, Renji…although I have to disagree with the reports that deemed this area safe for training."

Takeshi ran and jumped into Renji's arms.

"Dad, you should have seen it! There were two of them and they both attacked us at once. They would have gotten me, but he was so fast! He destroyed one with his zanpakuto and then he used a kido blast on the other! It was awesome!"

"Aw, I missed it!" complained Chisaki, lighting on Renji's shoulder in hawk form.

"Did you and Chisaki come across anything?" Byakuya asked Renji.

"Mostly old trails, but Byakuya…it seems like there are quite a few fresh trails, from just within the past few days. It almost seems like they're testing to see how we'll respond."

Byakuya nodded.

"We'll report it to the stealth force. They are in charge of this area near the border. I'm certain they'll get to the bottom of this."

He turned to the children.

"Well…give your reports. What did you find?"

Takeshi stepped forward.

"My group found one trail from about a week ago…mid level hollow. We also encountered two hollow on our mission, which were destroyed by my captain, sir."

Chisaki shifted to soul reaper form and stood alongside Takeshi.

"We found two trails made by low level hollow from about two weeks ago, one trail made by a high level hollow about four days ago, and signs of a group of four mid level hollow that passed by sometime yesterday, sir."

"Thank you for your reports. Now, I think it's time we return to the manor. It will be time for dinner soon and your mother will be arriving to stay for a few days."

The children flash stepped away, chattering excitedly.

"Renji," Byakuya said, "you go on with them. I'm going to check in with the stealth force. I will be back in time for dinner."

"You're worried about what we found here, aren't you," Renji said, looking concerned.

Byakuya nodded.

"There has been very little activity in this region for so long, and now all of a sudden, there are multiple reiatsu trails and hollow wandering around in broad daylight. I worry that some kind of plan might be in the works. Don't worry, I will just report our findings and come right back. I wouldn't miss being there to wish you farewell tomorrow when you leave for the living world."

"All right…but hurry back, okay?"

"I will," he said turning away.

He flash stepped away, leaving Renji looking after him.


	4. Shattered

**Chapter 4: Shattered**

Renji opened his eyes and smiled as he realized Byakuya's body was still tightly wound around his. His face rested gently against Renji's throat and his lover's breath tickled his shoulder lightly. Thinking back to the night before, Renji didn't have to wonder why he was oversleeping. It was like this whenever one of them had to leave on assignment. He hated the thought of being away for the week, but there would be a very sweet reunion to look forward to when he returned. As it was, though, time was running short and he needed to prepare to leave.

"Byakuya," he whispered, stroking his hair gently.

Byakuya took a small breath and stirred slightly. Renji ran his fingers through the silken black hair and kissed the top of his head. Byakuya moaned softly and his eyes fluttered open, his eyelashes teasing Renji's skin.

"Don't tell it's time already," Byakuya hissed softly.

"Sorry…looks like we overslept a little," Renji replied, catching his chin and bringing his face up for a passionate kiss.

"I've changed my mind," breathed Byakuya, "I'll send Rikichi."

"Don't tease me like that," Renji chided him, pulling free, "I just might take you up on it."

He took Byakuya's hands and sliding out of bed, he pulled the noble to his feet.

"How about you share a warm shower with me?" Renji asked, smiling.

Byakuya nodded and followed him into the shower. They stood under the hot spray, exchanging slow, indulgent kisses, their bodies pressed warmly against each other. All too soon, the water cooled and they grudgingly finished bathing, then stepped out into the dressing area.

They dressed quickly and made their way to the garden, where Rukia, Yoruichi, and the children were already gathered around the breakfast table. Renji couldn't help but notice that Byakuya was even more quiet than usual and his dark eyes looked troubled.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

Byakuya smiled.

"I just hate it when you're away…that's all."

"Yeah, me too."

After breakfast, Rukia and Yoruichi followed the children down the forest trail to go swimming at the waterfall and Byakuya saw Renji to the front gates. Renji leaned over and captured the noble's lips longingly.

"I don't want to go, Byakuya."

Byakuya sighed softly.

"I don't want you to leave, Renji. Be safe. Come home soon."

"I'll be back before you know it," Renji said smiling, then he flash stepped away.

As Byakuya turned to go back inside the manor, a hell butterfly floated down and landed on his finger. The head captain's voice rose up, and immediately, Byakuya could hear the urgency.

_Captain Kuchiki,_

_We have discovered credible evidence that the Hueco Mundo Base is facing imminent attack. The stealth force reports staggering numbers of hollow massing near the base and coded communications we've intercepted tell us that Sosuke Aizen has decided to topple the base in an effort to drive the stealth force out of Hueco Mundo. I am sending the 6__th__ and 11__th__ Divisions to hold the base until further notice. I must warn you, however…there is concern that Sosuke Aizen and the other traitors may take part in the battle. If they do, the damage to our forces could be extreme. Be cautious. Be Safe._

Byakuya turned his head to look for a long moment in the direction Renji had gone. It wasn't too late to recall him. He considered doing just that, but in the end, he turned instead, in the direction of the 6th Division office

XXXXXXXXXX

By the time Renji finished the first assessment, the sun had already fallen below the horizon and he was aching with hunger, and ready to nod off. He flash stepped back to Urahara's shop and arrived just in time to catch the end of dinner, before settling into his room for the night. Sleep came quickly, but his sleep was troubled. He tossed and turned fitfully, caught up in a frightening dream.

_The captains set their battle lines along the desert floor and moved into position. Byakuya and Rikichi held the kido shield over the group as they started the incantation. Their eyes on each other, they waited until the barrier fell and the incantations were finished and dropped the shield, sending kido blasts through the approaching hollow. The eleventh burst through the kido blast, their lithe bodies twisting and spinning as they tore into the not-yet-recovered enemies. But the area was thick with hollow. The other division held back, sending carefully aimed volleys of kido blasts through the battlefield, dropping hollow like flies._

_On the rocky hill behind them, Rikichi and Byakuya released their Ban Kai. Rikichi's fire eagle shot over the battlefield, flaring and destroying hollow as they approached the battle zone. Byakuya's petal blades sliced through the battlefield with amazing precision, curving around the soul reapers and biting into the hollow who fought them. Rikichi's eagle returned, raking the hollow with the sharp claws and shattering their eardrums with its wild cries._

_Kenpachi Zaraki plunged forward, flanked by Yumichika and Ikkaku, slicing through the enemy and bursting through to the waiting Arrancar. Blood rained down around them, both theirs and their enemies'._

_All at once, something huge and black and monstrous rose out of the rocks behind enemy lines. It was something beyond description and belief, a form blacker than death and more forceful than a hurricane. It moved with terrifying speed, plunging into the battle. Soul reapers were dying now…but the huge creature took out scores of hollow as well…its attack too broad and powerful to differentiate._

_Rikichi's fire eagle swelled in size until it was equal to the beast and then winged toward it, crashing into it and causing a huge red-gold explosion that lit up the sky. The eagle and the beast disappeared and beside Byakuya, Rikichi staggered. Byakuya caught him and helped him sit in a protected area behind them. He breathed deeply, building his spiritual pressure, waiting for his zanpakuto to regain its power._

_Behind enemy lines, three men stood watching the battle silently. A chill shot through Byakuya as he recognized Aizen, Gin, and Tousen. He looked around quickly for Rikichi and spotted him, still doubled over gathering his power. Byakuya gathered the power of his Ban Kai and sent a huge wave of blades towards the three men. He saw Aizen's head lift and the smile that lit his face. Then he saw Gin and Tousen release their zanpakuto. Gin's attack met his blades and sent them spinning away, then Tousen's move suddenly deadened the senses of the eleventh squad members who were closest to the three men. Byakuya gasped sharply, calling forth his senkei, shielding those on the battlefield from the three men. The effect of Tousen's zanpakuto faded beneath the cover of Byakuya's senkei. He realized quickly that while his move protected the attack force from the men, it effectively removed him from the battle. And to make matters worse, he had to place himself outside the barrier to guard against attacks by the three traitors. Soon, the forces within finished off the hollow and breathed in relief for a moment, appreciating the brief respite Byakuya was giving them. Then they started the incantations. As they finished, Byakuya detonated his senkei, sending a huge blast outward, incinerating hollow that waited outside the barrier. The wave of kido hit them next, destroying even more of them. Still the ranks of the enemy swelled and again, Tousen raised his zanpakuto. This time, Kenpachi was within striking distance. He burst forward and slashed at Tousen, sending blood flying in all directions Tousen went down and Kenpachi fell onto him, tearing at him madly until several large hollow intervened, drawing the attacker away, so Tousen could be carried from the field. Gin and Aizen moved back, again out of range of enemy attack. _

_Byakuya kept his eyes fixed on Aizen and Gin, careful not to lose track of the battle playing out below. They seemed to be reluctant to join the battle, but as the next group of hollow fell, Aizen's hand moved to his zanpakuto. Instantly, Byakuya activated his senkei, this time placing himself inside the protective barrier. Again, he was removed from the battle, but at least Aizen's attack was nullified. As the last of the hollow fell, Kenpachi joined Byakuya._

"_We cannot tell where Aizen is," Byakuya said quietly, "when my senkei is destroyed, he could attack from anywhere…and we are all aware of the power of his zanpakuto."_

_This time, even Kenpachi agreed._

"_Pull the troops back into the pass. We need to get them back inside the base and lock it down. We'll send for reinforcements…but the head captain may decide to abandon the base if he is worried that Aizen will overwhelm it."_

_Something suddenly struck Byakuya's senkei, shaking the grounds and sending rock sliding down into the pass._

"_Get out of here!" the captains cried to their troops, sending them back through the pass, sprinting for the safety of the base._

_Another heavy blast shook Byakuya's senkei as the captains dashed down into the pass. More rock fell, blocking the pass, separating Byakuya from the others._

"_Captain Kuchiki!" yelled Rikichi, suddenly appearing at his side._

"_What are you doing?" Byakuya shouted furiously, "I ordered a retreat!"_

"_I won't leave you!" Rikichi insisted, tightening his hand on his zanpakuto._

_Realizing the futility of his former order now that the pass was blocked, Byakuya detonated his senkei and took cover behind the rocks, dragging Rikichi down with him._

"_Don't move, Rikichi…don't breathe…" Byakuya warned him, "I don't know where he is."_

_As they waited, the growls and cries of the hollow faded and things grew quiet. A soft breeze blew over them and darkness came slowly. Still, they waited. There was no sound around them. Byakuya turned to Rikichi._

"_We have to get out of here and we can't both do this on foot. They'll sense it if we try. I am going to use a manifestation of my Ban Kai, but I'm afraid it will turn their attention directly onto us. I will draw their fire and I want you to get back over the hill."_

"_I-I'm sorry, sir, I…can't."_

"_What?" Byakuya snapped sharply, "What did you say to me? I gave you an order!"_

"_P-please, Captain, don't make me leave you!" Rikichi stammered, bending under the weight of the captain's ire._

_Seeing his discomfort, Byakuya reined in his spiritual pressure, allowing Rikichi to relax._

"_Rikichi," he said, still sternly, but without the anger, "I appreciate your desire to stay with me, but you must understand…if I give you an order, you must obey it, even if it means leaving my side when there is danger."_

"_I…won't leave you!" Rikichi insisted, "Renji made me promise to watch your back…like he does. And now I will. I'm going to get us out of here."_

_Byakuya stared at the him in surprise._

"_My Shikai eagle form is big, but it is not brightly lit like your Shukkei…that is what you were thinking of using, right?"_

"_How did you…"_

"_Renji made me learn all of your attacks and how you use them in battle. He said it would make me more able to help you."_

"_Helpful indeed, Rikichi!" Byakuya said softly, "We need to use stealth rather than power. I don't want to attract their attention. But releasing your zanpakuto will alert them. We must leave quickly once you release it."_

_Rikichi nodded. He drew his zanpakuto and brought it to life. Byakuya watched as the 3__rd__ seat summoned the huge darkly colored eagle. They leapt onto it's broad back and the bird rose into the air. As they left the ground, Byakuya gazed downward and his heart sank. The hollow were encamped directly below them…and cries of alarm were already breaking out._

"_Watch out, Rikichi!" he hissed sharply._

_A flash of light rose up from the midst of the enemy camp, striking the eagle as it turned away. The force of the blast threw Byakuya from its back and sent the bird spiraling towards the soul reaper base with Rikichi still clinging to its back. Byakuya felt himself falling and tried to right himself, but realized suddenly that the ground had come up too fast. He crashed down into the sand and stone and began a long drawn out tumble down the hillside, striking rocks and brush. At the bottom, he rolled to a stop and lay, unable to move for a moment as the hollow guards swept towards him. He drew Senbonzakura and dragged himself to his feet._

"_Well, this is unexpected," said a soft and frighteningly familiar voice, "Welcome back to Hueco Mundo, Byakuya."_

_He saw Aizen's face only for a moment, then the traitor's zanpakuto rose up before him and Byakuya felt the ground slip away beneath him._

Renji jumped awake, shaking from head to toe and screaming Byakuya's name. Foosteps sounded in the hallway and Tessai threw open the door, ready to kill whatever was attacking.

"It's…okay," gasped Renji, "It…was just a dream."

Kisuke appeared in the doorway next, peering in at Renji.

"Sorry…" Renji managed, "I just…It was so…real."

They stared at each other, then Renji gasped sharply as a hell butterfly flew in from the hallway and landed softly on his finger. Rikichi's voice was harsh and pained as it relayed the message.

_-Vice Captain Abarai,_

_You must join the 6__th__ Division in Hueco Mundo. Captain Kuchiki is missing. He disappeared during the battle and cannot be found. Please come to Hueco Mundo at once to take command of the division._

Kisuke and Tessai stood in stunned silence. Renji stared as the hell butterfly floated away.

"What the hell were they doing in Hueco Mundo?" he gasped, "And why didn't he recall me?"

XXXXXXXXXX

Sosuke Aizen stood quietly as the casualty reports were read, his eyes drifting occasionally to the pale inert form that lay curled nearby. He was still thinking, still trying to fathom how the captain had suddenly fallen into his hands once again. He had been working on a plan to bring him back to Hueco Mundo, of course. There was still so much unresolved between them. But he hadn't thought much beyond that. He hadn't considered what he would do once Byakuya was his again.

Once, he had captured the noble, imprisoned him and sought to break him, but he had, with the help of Renji Abarai and the stealth force, broken free, heavily damaging Aizen's base. Now, he was suddenly here…unconscious and completely controlled and Aizen had no idea what to do with him. Aizen sighed softly. He was going to have to decide soon. The unconsciousness would end and despite the bonds that sealed off his power, Byakuya was too dangerous…too likely to find a way to break free. He knew there were few choices. He could kill the captain…amusing, even somewhat fulfilling if it wasn't rushed or…he could again attempt to break him…more challenging, but likely to be unrewarding if Byakuya shattered too quickly…or too completely. He had to admit it…as maddening as it was, he loved Byakuya's spirit, his unrelenting defiance.

"Perhaps something of each," he whispered, his eye falling on Byakuya again.

He turned to the hollow, suddenly decided.

"Gather the troops…break camp," he ordered them, "You will return to the fortress at once."

"What are you doing?" Gin asked softly, his eyes narrowed.

"Our unexpected guest requires special attention. This base can be taken at any time."

"Ah, I see," Gin smiled, "And do I get to have any fun?"

"Hmm…" considered Aizen, "If you promise not to damage him beyond repair…and as long as you remember, Gin, he is mine."

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji doubted that Byakuya could have matched the speed with which he flash stepped to Hueco Mundo. He burst into the base and was directed to meet Rikichi in the healing room. He flash stepped all of the way, heedless of the energy he was expending, having only one concern…He had to find Byakuya!

When he arrived in the healing room, Hanatoro waved him over to the bed where Rikichi lay being healed. The 3rd seat was battered, but Hanatoro was quick to reassure Renji that Rikichi would be fine.

"Rikichi," Renji said softly, "Rikichi, I'm here."

The 3rd seat's eyes fluttered open and Renji saw that he was nearly in tears.

"Rikichi, what happened? What happened to the captain?"

He was defending the pass…making sure that everyone could escape…because there were just too many hollow and Sosuke Aizen tried to use his zanpakuto! He and I got trapped on the wrong side of the pass. I tried to use my Shikai to get us out, but it was struck by something and he fell…Renji, the hollow retreated. We searched the battlefield! We couldn't find him anywhere! Renji, what if Sosuke Aizen has him? I think he has the captain…and it's all my fault!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Byakuya."

The soft, frighteningly gentle sounding voice froze the blood in Byakuya's veins. He tried not to move as awareness returned to him. He could sense that he was on his knees and bound so that he could not rise or fall. He could feel also the heavy bands on his wrists, sealing off his spirit energy. He flinched involuntarily as soft hands removed his blindfold.

"That's better. I want to see your eyes," Aizen said, stepping away, "Gin…he's awake."

Gin stepped forward and dropped to his knees facing Byakuya.

"Well, Captain, it's good to see you again. Sosuke has been planning for you to come back to us, of course, but this is an unexpected surprise."

Byakuya remained silent, but the anger rose in his eyes, earning a satisfied nod from Aizen.

"Byakuya," Aizen said softly, "I do have plans for you, but, unfortunately, there is the matter of the damage you did the last time you were here. I'm afraid that you must pay the price for ruining my base and my plans. Gin?"

Gin leaned forward, touching the captain's hair. Byakuya tried to pull away, but the power that restrained him made it impossible for him to do that…or to tear the offender's arm from its socket. Realizing the brutality of what was about to happen, Byakuya retreated in the only way he could, drawing himself inward so that he didn't even feel the sting of Gin's first strike.

"Gin," Aizen said reprovingly, "This is going to get boring very quickly."

"Right," Gin agreed.

He leaned toward Byakuya and the slitted eyes opened wide. The eyes that met his were a clear and depthless golden color, the centers lit with power. They flared brightly, locking onto his eyes, forcing him back to awareness. The pain he felt next was staggering. It was all he could do to bite back the cry that almost broke free. He gasped sharply.

"Better," said Aizen's soft voice.

Gin's eyes held Byakuya's and the pain continued, each strike bringing the captain closer and closer to his breaking point. He didn't want to give them the satisfaction, but the truth was, with his power sealed away and being unable to withdraw mentally… Gin drew his zanpakuto and rose, bringing the weapon's tip to Byakuya's shoulder.

"Now," he said, his grin spreading, "I want to hear you, Byakuya. No more silence."

He barely felt the zanpakuto break the skin, but the power that surged through the weapon shattered whatever resistance he had left. Hating himself for his weakness, Byakuya released a deep pained cry. He heard Gin gasp softly.

"Beautiful," whispered Aizen, "Again,"

Now Gin's eyes released him, but he was beyond retreat. Gin's power struck him over and over until he could no longer feel the attacks, could no longer hear his own cries, and could no longer hear Aizen's command for the attacks to continue. Finally, everything came to a slow, spinning halt, and whatever force was holding him there released. He felt himself falling and the last thing he felt was the coolness of stone touching his face.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Head Captain, I bring a message from the Hueco Mundo base. Sir, the enemy has made a total retreat!"

"What?" Yamamoto said, his eyes widening, "I just received a request for more troops! What happened?"

"Sir, our forces were actually driven back into the base, itself. They did send word that they needed aid…but then, the enemy forces, just suddenly…left," the young man reported.

"Is there any thought about why this happened?" Yamamoto asked.

"Well, sir, the 3rd seat from Squad Six reported that Captain Kuchiki was reported missing after last being seen protecting the retreating troops. Sir, there is speculation that he may have been captured! Even worse, sir, reports also came in from the returning troops saying the three traitors were there…during the battle!"

"Very troubling," observed Yamamoto, "I think it is clear that Sosuke Aizen has withdrawn to consider his options. He is probably now deciding whether to use Byakuya Kuchiki as a hostage…or as a weapon."

He stood in silence for a moment, considering his options. Finally, he turned.

"Return to Hueco Mundo," he told the messenger, "Tell them to secure the base, then send the Sixth Division back home. Tell Vice Captain Abarai to report to me immediately upon his return."

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya felt awareness returning and held back a low moan. He opened his eyes and found himself lying in a soft, comfortable bed. Though he was unbound, he felt the pressure of a kido field restrainging him. He felt Aizen's presence, but was unable to even turn his head to look in his direction.

"I have had your wounds healed," Aizen said softly, "I hope you are more comfortable now."

"I find it hard to believe you would bother to see to my comfort, Sosuke Aizen," Byakuya spat back angrily.

"I told you, Byakuya, you had to pay for ruining my base and my plans. That being done, I am left with the task of deciding what to do next. In all honesty, I wasn't prepared for your arrival. I know not to hold you like this for very long, because eventually, you will try to escape. Whatever I do, I must do it soon."

"Then kill me and have done with it," Byakuya snapped, "if you are in such a hurry."

"I will, most likely, have to kill you eventually, Byakuya, but before I do that…there is something I want from you…"

"That's hardly surprising," Byakuya said icily, "What do you want now? Would you like your base destroyed again?"

"Byakuya, I have to say, I love your fighting spirit. Even here in the heart of enemy territory, even after Gin's ministrations, you still have nerve enough to try to anger me. Perhaps you do this to try to get me to kill you more quickly. Don't even try. I didn't bring you here for such a trivial end. I want more from this than that."

Aizen moved toward Byakuya, his hand moving to his zanpakuto. Byakuya was grateful that the force that held him was so strong that he couldn't even tremble. He took a slow hissing breath.

"Yes, you remember this, don't you? I have decided that there is only one way to keep you here…without having to worry that you will attack me or escape. You see, Byakuya, my Kyoka Suigetsu has many special abilities. Primarily, it is skilled in hypnosis, illusion. I use this to control my subordinates…to make people see what I want them to see. But I have discovered something else it can do. And I will use that newly discovered power to control you. I'll even tell you what is coming before it happens. I'm going to use hypnosis to take your memories away…all of them. But don't be afraid, Byakuya, because I'll give you new ones. You are mine now. There is no escape."

Byakuya was silent now, his eyes closed against Aizen's words.

"You're awfully quiet, Byakuya. Have you nothing to say before I begin?"

The silence went on for several minutes, then Byakuya sighed softly in resignation.

"Sosuke Aizen," he said softly, his own words sickening him, "Do not hurt the ones I protect…not even if they come for me…"

Aizen touched his face gently.

"Byakuya, as long as they don't attack me, I'll have no reason to hurt them. I don't even desire it. I have what I want."

"What is it you intend for me to do…after?"

Aizen smiled.

"I would tell you, but I don't know yet. For now, this is just a way of controlling you."

He pulled his zanpakuto free and leaned over Byakuya.

"Shatter, Kyoka Suigetsu" he breathed softly.

Golden light flared, blinding Byakuya for a moment, then pushing its way down through his eyes and surprisingly easily penetrating his mind. He tried to withdraw, but the light was everywhere inside him. There was nowhere to retreat to, nowhere to run. Images rose up all around him, memories springing to life, moving slowly in reverse as they were drawn away. He found it ironic that something so damaging, so destructive could feel so gentle even as it left him undone.

"Don't be afraid," Aizen's voice echoed in his mind, "I will be there when you wake. Sleep, now."

The images began to leave him more quickly now, spinning away from him so swiftly he hardly had time to mourn each memory as it left him. His mind was growing numb, an exhaustion of spirit sweeping through him, taking away any urge he might have had left to fight the intrusion. He could feel tears on his face now and soft hands brushing them away, but he no longer knew whose hands they were…or where he was…or why everything was suddenly being taken away. He felt terrifyingly empty, so alone that he cried out in agony when the hands touched him again. He was afraid now…afraid the touch would be withdrawn, that then everything would be gone…that he would simply disappear. The hands tightened on him and he held onto them in desperation. Someone was speaking to him in a tender, soothing tone. The voice assured him that everything was not lost. He reached out for the one thing left behind. It was a name…his name, and it was all that was left.

"Tell me your name," the voice whispered.

"Sh-Shin," he said through a haze of tears, "My name is Shin."

"Very good," the voice said softly, "You are Shin…your name means 'heart.' Sleep now, Shin, you'll feel better after you rest."

The hands started to withdraw. He moaned, still unable to move, but aching for the return of that gentle touch.

"D-don't…go," he pleaded softly.

He felt as though a weight lifted, then the sensation of being pulled close to someone. He couldn't see, but the touch of the other was warm and comforting. He placed his head onto the other's shoulder and sank into the soothing embrace. Sleep came quickly then and he was unaware when he was lowered gently back into the bed and the other left him.


	5. Senbonzakura's Promise

**Chapter 5: Senbonzakura's Promise**

_Senbonzakura sensed the reiatsu of the approaching spirit and turned away from the waterfall and the endless sea. The spirit approaching him was Byakuya, but he noticed right away that something was terribly wrong. His eyes! They looked at him, stared at him, in fact. But the eyes that had always met his with calm recognition were empty, cold and broken. Byakuya approached him warily, those dark eyes questioning_

_"Why have you come?" he asked Byakuya._

_The spirit gazed at him blankly._

_"I do not know. I woke in this place. What is this place? Who are you?" he asked._

_The masked warrior stared._

_"You do not know me?" he asked, already suspecting the answer._

_"I feel as though I should, even perhaps that I once did. But when I try to remember, something stops my thoughts."_

_The masked spirit stepped closer. He studied Byakuya carefully and again read the reiatsu around him. He caught his breath and released it in a hiss of dissatisfaction._

_"Kyoka Suigetsu…" he said, his voice a low growl, "You have fallen into the hands of an enemy."_

_"I don't understand," said Byakuya softly._

_"No," Senbonzakura replied gently, "You wouldn't…not after being attacked by that zanpakuto. I sense the hypnotic block that seals away your memory. I understand now why you have forgotten us. Now things are difficult."_

_Byakuya stared in silence, but did not answer. The masked warrior held his eyes, but felt a tremor pass through him._

_"Something else you do not remember is that you and I sought to protect ourselves against something like this. You made me promise you something. That promise was very difficult for me to make. However, I did give in to you in the end. I did give you my word…and I know I must honor that…no matter how much it grieves me."_

_The dark eyes blinked uncomprehendingly._

_"You won't understand, but know that this is not easy for me, and that I do this only because you convinced me that it was necessary."_

_Byakuya took a step back, the wariness returning to his eyes._

_"What are you going to do?" Byakuya asked, a tremor in his voice._

_Senbonzakura drew his sword._

_"Draw your weapon," he said quietly._

_"Why?"_

_"I made a promise to you that if ever you fell under the control of a powerful enemy and we were in danger of being used against our will, I would take this action to protect the power we wield. You have been stolen from yourself, so I must keep this promise, even though I do not wish it."_

_"You say that you promised me this…that I forced this promise from you?" Byakuya asked softly._

_"Yes," Senbonzakura answered, lowering his eyes, "I have a strong will of my own, but you are my master. In the end, that decision was yours to make."_

_Byakuya lowered his eyes as well._

_"Then as I deemed this of such importance that I forced this promise from you, you must keep it."_

_He drew his weapon and held it toward Senbonzakura. The masked warrior extended his own blade until the two crossed, then sent power racing though his blade into the one Byakuya held. Pink light rose up around them, swirling and darkening until it went black. The ground around them shook under the weight of the released power and dark clouds rolled in, darkening the sky._

_"Forgive me, my master," Senbonzakura whispered._

_"You did not want this," Byakuya whispered back, "There is nothing to be forgiven."_

_The blade in Byakuya's hand rang with a heavy vibration. Power coursed through it relentlessly. The black light flowed out of Senbonzakura's blade, wrapping around Byakuya and the blade he wielded. As Byakuya began to disappear into the darkness, their eyes met one last time. Then Senbonzakura heard the other blade shatter and the sharp gasp of the spirit that held it. He stepped forward as the darkness released Byakuya and caught him as he fell. Dropping to his knees, he sat silently at the edge of the endless sea, cradling the sleeping spirit in his arms._

_"Now the promise has been kept," he whispered, resting his chin on the top of Byakuya's head, "Now you and I must both await rescue. Sleep now. Our power rests here in safety."_

XXXXXXXXXX

"The head captain has ordered us to return to the Sereitei," Renji announced to the fighters of the 6th Division.

He was greeted with stunned eyes and cries of dismay. He had expected it would be this way. Ever since he and Byakuya had changed their approach to leadership, the bond between them and the men they led had strengthened immeasurably. There was no way in hell that these men would leave this place while the fate of their captain was uncertain. But they would be risking everything. The head captain would be furious at their insubordination. He could send troops against them or even disband their division.

"To disobey orders and stay here would invite punishment. If you are not ready to pay the price for your disobedience, you must leave now," Renji told them, "The captain values each of you and he would not want you to do something that violates your conscience."

A soft voice rose up out of the gathered troops. Rikichi.

"Are you staying?" he asked.

Renji looked into the eyes that gazed up at him, waiting.

"I…can't leave," he answered quietly, "I will not abandon him no matter what it costs me."

"Then I am not leaving either," said Rikichi.

In the end, not a single division member obeyed the head captain's order.

"I hope you miscreants know what you're getting yourselves into!" said Kenpachi Zaraki's voice from behind Renji, "If I were you, I'd head for the desert, because the head captain will order me to arrest every damned one of you."

He smiled at Renji.

"I would suggest," he said, "A route to the southeast. Perhaps a couple of my men will be defecting as well."

Renji stared at them, mystified.

Yumichika and Ikkaku stepped forward, grinning madly.

"Well, are you guys coming or are you going to wait for the head captain to order your arrest?" Ikkaku asked, "Come on, we'll take you somewhere safe."

By the time the head captain's order arrived, the entire 6th Division and two members of the 11th had simply disappeared.

XXXXXXXXXX

"So what will you do with him now, Sosuke?" Gin asked, gazing down at Byakuya with glinting eyes, "You must have something in mind."

Aizen stared calmly out the window, staring into the sand dunes, lost in thought.

"Of course I have a plan, Gin," he said softly, "but before it will work, I need some time to…connect with him. You see…if I intend to bring him to my side, I must give him reason to join me. It will, however, require time and effort. Gin, I need you to watch over things here…make sure there is no trouble from the base. Keep things quiet…don't start an offensive."

"Where are you going?"

"I'll take him to the living world, Gin. I can spend some time alone with him and feed him some helpful information. Once I gain his trust, I'll convince him to return with me…and then…well, then the Sereitei had best watch out. If he was deadly under the yoke of the 13 Court Guard Squads, he'll be even more so once I remove some of his tight controls."

"Do you need any help?" Gin asked softly.

Aizen laughed softly.

"Sorry, my friend, but this is work that requires subtlety, finesse…not your strong points…"

"Ah…you're probably right," Gin agreed, smiling, "I might be too tempted to do permanent damage."

"Exactly why I must handle this myself."

"When will you go?"

Aizen let his eye fall on Byakuya.

"Immediately."

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji sighed softly and tried to fall asleep, but sleep refused to come. The 6th Division was now in hiding…secreted away in a negative reiatsu cage, safe from hollows and pursuing soul reapers trying to find them. They left in small groups to carefully search the desert for signs of their captain's passage, but as the days went by, no signs were found. Time and time again, Renji returned to the battlefield. Rikichi went with him and carefully described where the captain had fallen…but it had been dark. He could have been in error. So Renji returned again and again to retrace his steps.

He had decided that today would be the last time…that he would find some trace, something to focus on. In the fading light, he studied rock and sand. As he scoured the ground with his eyes one last time, something shiny caught his eye. He picked up the item, watching as the sand fell away. As he gazed at the golden sakura pendant, tears came to his eyes.

"You were here," he whispered, gripping the pendant tightly, "I know you were here…and whatever it takes, I will find you."

Back in the hidden base, Renji resolved to send the best reiatsu trackers out the next morning. But for this night, all he could do was to wait. Touching the sakura pendant at his throat, he blinked back the tears that threatened yet again.

"I will find you," he whispered, "No one leaves….no one leaves…"

He could close his eyes, but Renji Abarai could not sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Shin?" a voice said softly, "Shin…are you awake?"

He moaned softly, shifting uncomfortably. Someone was rubbing his wrists gently. He turned toward the voice, slowly opening his eyes. He realized immediately that he had no idea at all where he was. He could feel that he was in a gigai…so it must be the living world. He tried to remember arriving there and failed. The face that looked down at him was vaguely familiar, but he could not seem to place it.

"Where am I?" he asked in a tremulous whisper.

The face looking down at him smiled encouragingly.

"You're safe now, Shin. I brought you here so I could keep you safe from them."

"Safe? Safe…from who? Who are you?"

The face took on a troubled look.

"Shin," he said, great concern in his eyes, "You don't know me?"

He stared searchingly, trying to remember.

"I have seen you before…but I don't…remember."

"It's me, Shin! It's Kenteishu! How can you have forgotten? Kami, what did they do to you?"

Shin looked up at him blankly.

"K-kenteishu? If you know me, why don't I know you? What happened…to me?"

"That's what I'm asking you…You mean, you don't remember them taking you?"

Shin's eyes widened as he struggled to remember anything…anything at all. He strained his mind, reaching for any image he could recall and was faced with the devastating fact that there was nothing there. His heart raced and his breathing quickened as he struggled against the emptiness, reaching for memories he felt being held somewhere beyond his reach. He was gasping for air now, distraught at his failure to find anything familiar in his surroundings. Kenteishu put a bracing hand on his arm.

"Stop, Shin…don't push yourself like that…please stop. Here, lie down on your stomach for a minute. I can help relax you a little."

Shin rolled slowly onto his stomach, turning his head to face Kenteishu.

"Close your eyes," he said softly, "Trust me."

He gently massaged Shin's shoulders, letting his reiatsu flow out and through his hands, into the still-trembling body beneath his hands. He worked his way slowly down Shin's back, then ran his fingers through the dark silken hair, massaging the back of his neck.

"You should sleep some more, Shin," he said gently, "I have no idea what they did to you, but I promise…they will pay for it. You and I will make sure that they do."

Shin's body slowly ceased its trembling and a soft sigh escaped him as the tension in his body released. He felt the weight of sleep closing in again and accepted it gratefully. Kenteishu waited until he felt Shin succumb to sleep, then lay on his back, looking out at the stars that lit the night sky. In moments, he was asleep as well.

It was early the next morning when Shin opened his eyes again. Kenteishu lay on the other side of the bed, resting peacefully. Slowly, Shin slipped out of the bed and walked through the house, gazing at everything intently, trying to remember ever being there before. Still, nothing felt familiar. He reached the front door and looked back. All was silent in the house now. He heard Kenteishu snoring softly. Carefully, he turned the door handle and opened the door.

The air outside was cold and he was dressed lightly, but he stepped outside anyway, taking a few deep breaths. He cautiously looked down the street, then started walking, careful to remember where he turned and which way. He suddenly had a flash of memory…hollows, a shop, being wounded. None of the images made any sense, but he found it encouraging that he remembered anything at all. The streets twisted and turned, moving from residential to commercial…shops and restaurants springing up all around. He stepped forward slowly, studying the buildings as he went, slowing and stopping at one that seemed to resonate, but that he could not recognize. A girl with her black hair in ponytails was sweeping the area in front of the shop, while a boy talked to her in a clipped, bossy tone. Shin shivered softly. The girl's face rose and her smiling eyes met his and went wide with what looked to him like recognition. He started forward, but all at once, he felt someone take hold of him from behind. He started to struggle, but then a strange feeling came over him, so strong, so compelling that it took his breath away. He collapsed softly into the arms that held him, the darkness enfolding him again.

Ururu stared in surprise at the man who looked across the street to where she stood, his eyes searching her face with no sign of recognition. She ignored the boy next to her and stared as another man came up behind him and a strange light flashed around them. A moment later, the two were gone and she had no idea which way they went. She turned and ran into the shop, shouting, "Mr. Kisuke! Mr. Kisuke! I just saw Captain Kuchiki!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"You must not leave here again, Shin," Kenteishu said in a low warning voice that sent a shiver through Shin.

"I-I'm sorry, Kenteishu…I wasn't thinking straight. I…went out to get some fresh air…and then I…just started walking."

Kenteishu looked at him sternly.

"You could have been seen, Shin. Remember this, you cannot be seen! They will find you again. They will try to take you away again."

Shin touched Kenteishu's arm in askance.

"Kenteishu…you keep saying that. You keep talking about someone taking me. I'm confused…I don't know who 'they' are or why you fear them so! Kenteishu, you seem to know what is going on. Tell me. Tell me what is happening!"

Kenteishu sighed heavily, placing his head in his hands for a moment, then looking back up at Shin guardedly.

"I…can't, Shin," he said slowly.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ururu…are you sure about what you saw?" Kisuke asked.

The girl nodded, her eyes wide.

"It was Captain Kuchiki. He wasn't in his uniform. He was wearing a blue kimono and he didn't have any shoes on. He looked right at me. Then that man grabbed him and it looked like he…fainted. Then they disappeared."

"Okay, so the captain may be somewhere close…and trying to reach us," Kisuke mused, "Can you tell me what the other man looked like?"

"Umm…not really. It was strange. There was a weird light around him," she explained, "I think the light made Captain Kuchiki faint."

"Do you remember anything else, hon?" he asked, smiling gently down at her.

"Not really…just that, well…Captain Kuchiki looked, umm, maybe confused or sick or something."

"Okay, now, I want you to go find Ichigo. Tell him to get over here as fast as he can."

"Okay, Mr. Kisuke!" Ururu said, turning and running out the door.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Kenteishu, I'm…sorry," Shin said softly, "I'm sorry if I pushed you too hard. It's just…I need to know…I need to understand what happened to me, why I'm here…what I'm supposed to do next. I'm just…confused."

The brown eyes met his guardedly.

"I want to tell you, Shin," he replied in a faint voice, "but you have to understand…there is much about our story…our connection that may come as a shock to you. I am your friend, Shin. I don't want you to feel…hurt or afraid. I, myself, feel afraid for you to know the truth. It truly might be more than you want to know."

"I don't know how that could be," said Shin, moving to look out the window into the darkened sky, "To have lost everything I know…it's a great weight to carry, Kenteishu. It's like being adrift on the sea and having no sight of land. You know the safety of land is out there somewhere, but it is beyond your senses, beyond your reach."

He felt Kenteishu move closer and felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder.

"To me," continued Shin in the same soft voice, "you are like a bird flying over the sea, circling in the sky and then turning for home. Because of you, I feel myself coming closer to land. I know it exists even though I can't remember anything of what it was like."

The hand moved from Shin's shoulder and caught his chin, turning his head and raising his eyes to meet Kenteishu's. Shin froze under the spell of those eyes. He had a sense of them looking through him. As gentle as they were, they held secrets. His fingers traced Shin's jawline slowly. Still gazing into Shin's wide questioning eyes, Kenteishu leaned forward and brought his lips to Shin's, tentatively. Shin shivered softly, feeling suddenly that there was something very wrong in all of this. There were secrets Kenteishu was holding back. Still, he had been there through whatever it was that had happened to him. And he was powerful. Trust him or not, Shin knew he had to be careful. He held perfectly still as Kenteishu's lips moved against his, but he didn't pull away. Kenteishu pulled away gently and gave a long sigh.

"Shin…if you really want me to tell you…I will. I just…please just don't hate me for what I have to tell you. It's one thing for us to have been through what we have. It's another to have to relive it without any sort of connection to the reality of it. Do you…understand what I'm trying to say?"

Shin narrowed his eyes, thinking.

"You mean…there are things that were true of me before…that might have changed when my memories were lost?"

"Yes," said Kenteishu, taking his hands and drawing him down to sit next to him on the bed, "That is exactly what I mean, Shin. You can understand, can't you? The way you feel about anything is related to your life, your experiences. You still retain practical knowledge about the world, Shin, but you have lost your personal connection with it. That means each time you relearn something…how you feel about it must be based on what you experience now. You can't help but be different than you were. It's not your fault, not mine, but it is true, just the same."

"Kenteishu, you are the only person I have a connection to now," Shin said, looking down, "I'm not going to break that connection with you. I have nothing else to hold on to. You asked me to trust you, but trust must be a two-way street. Please…tell me what is going on. Whatever it is, I have to know."

"Okay," Kenteishu whispered, "Okay, I will."

He shifted slightly and Shin's eyes rose to meet his.

"Shin, the truth of things is…that 'Shin' is not your given name."

"What?"

"Shin is a name you took two years ago when you left the Sereitei…with me."

Shin's eyes widened.

"I…left the Sereitei? Why?"

"You are of noble blood, Shin. Your family was pressuring you to marry against your will. You had no intention of doing that…and they…wouldn't accept…"

His mind reeling with sudden realization, Shin came to his feet and backed a step away from Kenteishu.

"What are you saying?" he whispered in shock.

"I was your friend, Shin. I watched you grow up. I kept you safe. I never expected…"

Kenteishu was trembling visibly now.

"You hate me now, don't you?" he said, shivering softly.

Shin closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I…don't hate you, Kenteishu."

"Shin," Kenteishu said, anguish in his usually calm features, "Do you understand why I didn't want to tell you? I thought that…I don't know, that maybe it would come back to you…that maybe what was done to you wasn't permanent. But it's looking more and more like it is permanent. I know that things may never be as they were. Just…don't leave again, Shin. Don't let them find you. They broke you once…kami knows what would happen to you if they found you again!"

Shin approached Kenteishu and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder.

"I won't leave again," he said quietly, "I can't promise you anything because right now, I have no idea what I feel about anything. But you have taken care of me and I will trust you, Kenteishu. I won't ask you to tell me any more unless you think I should know. I won't even ask my given name."

"Thank you, Shin," breathed the soft voice.

He rose and moved slowly to the door.

"I'll be back with tea, Shin," he said, passing through the doorway and out into the hall.

He leaned against the wall, smiling for a moment, then continued down the hall to the kitchen. In the bedroom, Shin moved back to the window and gazed out at the night sky.

_I can't tell what is real anymore. Kenteishu seems to care a great deal for me. But…can what he told me be true? It's obvious that he has strong feelings for me, but can I really have felt the same? He acts as though he is on my side. He has been protective, but…there is something not right, here. That girl…the one at the shop. She seemed to know me. Her eyes said she knew me. How is that? Why couldn't I tell Kenteishu about her? Why do I fear what he would do if he knew the girl saw me? Why did I pass out when he found me there? What do I do now?_

"Shin, here's your tea."

He took the tea and sipped it, still staring out the window. A slow drowsy feeling took hold of him. He leaned against the windowpane, the glass cool on his suddenly uncomfortably warm skin. A wave of dizziness swept over him and he felt the teacup drop from his hand. He heard Kenteishu's concerned tone, but couldn't make out the words. He was falling again, the room going dark around him. He felt Kenteishu's arms wrap around him and stared up at him with a startled look of betrayal. In that moment, he saw something in Kenteishu that he remembered…he remembered a solemn, unaffected voice, an infusion of golden light, a feeling of being torn apart from the inside…but none of that made sense…did it? Kenteishu had taken care of him ever since… The darkness deepened and Kenteishu's calm reassurances faded. He reached down inside and forced out a single anguished word.

"Why?"

Kenteishu's answer echoed strangely in his mind.

"Why, Shin? Well I can't have you running off again. Sleep now. Don't be afraid. I'll be here when you wake."

The sense of betrayal Shin felt deepened. He fought the impenetrable blackness taking hold of him, but his mind could no longer focus. The last bit of light faded and he slowly gave in to the darkness.


	6. The Broken Heart

**Chapter 6: The Broken Heart**

"Lady Rukia, Lady Yoruichi, you have a guest."

The housekeeper stepped back and the two women's eyes widened as Ichigo Kurosaki entered the room. Yoruichi turned to Chisaki and Takeshi, who sat nearby, their eyes dark with worry.

"Will you please take the children to their playroom?" Yoruichi asked softly.

They knew that one of their fathers was missing, and they had overheard that the other had gone to rescue him, but they were bring protected from the details. They didn't want to be protected. So as soon as the housekeeper left them in their playroom, they slipped back down the hallway to listen at the door.

Inside the room, the housekeeper served tea and then left to attend to other duties. Ichigo sat facing the two women.

"Kisuke sent me," he explained, "He heard that Byakuya went missing during a battle in Hueco Mundo."

"Yes," Rukia said worriedly, "his division was one of two protecting the base. There was a hollow attack and the defenders were forced into retreat. Byakuya was protecting them and he and his 3rd seat were separated from the rest…trapped on the wrong side of the pass. The third seat came back injured…and he said that Byakuya fell into the midst of the hollow camp. His reiatsu disappeared. No one knows if he was captured or…"

"Hey," Ichigo said sternly, "Don't you start acting like he's dead. This is Byakuya Kuchiki you're talking about. It'd take more than a bunch of stupid hollows to kill him!"

"Aizen, Gin and Tousen were there," Yoruichi added softly.

Ichigo's eyes widened at the news, but the shock turned quickly into determination.

"Yeah, well, that doesn't mean a damn thing!" he said, his eyes flaring, "because I know he isn't dead yet. I know it for a fact."

Rukia's eyes went wide.

"Where is he, Ichigo? Where is my brother?" she demanded.

"That's what I came here to tell you. Ururu saw him in Karakura Town today."

"What?" Rukia and Yoruichi said together.

"That's right. She is sure it was him. She said he wasn't in uniform and he looked like something was wrong. He looked at her like he didn't know her…and we all know he does. I'd say it sounds like Aizen got his hands on Byakuya and took him to Karakura Town. I don't know what his plan is, but we need to find out. You have to tell me how to find Renji. I heard that the 6th Division disappeared after the head captain tried to order them to return. Renji was with them. I need to find them."

Yoruichi nodded.

"We were already planning to go. We were just waiting for Byakuya's cousin, Hotaru, to arrive to watch the children. As soon as she arrives, we'll go."

Outside the door, Chisaki and Takeshi looked at each other and smiled.

"They said he's in Karakura Town!" whispered Takeshi.

Chisaki nodded.

"We'll go there ahead of them. We'll look for him. I know we can find him!" insisted the boy, "We will!"

"But we have to get out of here first," Chisaki said, looking around, "We'll wait until they leave and then we'll slip away."

Takeshi nodded.

They waited until they heard Hotaru say good-bye as the others left, then they slipped from their playroom and silently shifted into their animal forms. Silent wings and paws carried them away before Hotaru's steps had reached the playroom.

XXXXXXXXXX

"He isn't in the fortress, sir," the scout told Renji firmly, "He was taken there from the battlefield, but Aizen moved him shortly after. We are still tracing reiatsu to find the trail they took."

"I think I can help you with that, Renji," said a familiar male voice.

Renji turned, staring, as Ichigo, Yoruichi and Rukia appeared in the doorway.

"Ichigo! What the hell? How did you get in here?" Renji asked, smiling for the first time in days.

"Zaraki," Ichigo smiled, "I did have to agree to spar with him after this is all over, though."

"You're crazy! I can't believe you're here. But you said you can help?"

"Yeah," said Ichigo, "That's what I'm here for. Earlier today, Ururu spotted Byakuya in Karakura Town."

"What the fuck? Where was he?" Renji demanded.

"Across the street from Urahara's shop," Ichigo explained, "But Renji, Ururu said that he looked like something was wrong with him. He was dressed in a blue kimono, no shoes, and he didn't seem to recognize Ururu. She told Kisuke that a man came up behind Byakuya and Byakuya passed out. Then they disappeared."

"But we can track the reiatsu!" exclaimed Rikichi, "Vice Captain, we should go to Karakura Town!"

"We will," Renji assured him, "but Rikichi, you have to stay here."

"What?" Rikichi said, crestfallen, "I thought you understood…I…"

"I do understand you want to help find him. I know that, even though it isn't your fault he was taken, you feel responsible, but know this, Rikichi…we are outlaws right now. And our division needs protection. While I am gone, I want you to keep morale up. I want you to monitor movements at Aizen's fortress and at our base. This is where you are needed, Rikichi. I have Yoruichi and Rukia to help with the reiatsu tracking."

Rikichi lowered his eyes.

"Yes, sir, of course you're right. I will stay here," Rikichi said softly.

Rikichi's blue eyes followed Renji out the door and stared fixed in that direction for some time after the vice captain disappeared into the distance.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Are you feeling any better, Shin?" Kenteishu asked softly.

Shin blinked and sat up slowly. He ran his hands over his face. He could see that it was morning again, but he barely remembered anything from the night before.

"I'm…fine," he assured the other.

"I don't know about that, Shin," Kenteishu continued, "You passed out last night."

Shin swallowed hard, remembering the tea, the slow fall, the sudden memory. He knew not to reveal any of that. He was certain now that Kenteishu was hiding something…something dangerous. He knew he had to find a way to escape. He thought briefly of the shop and the girl with ponytails. He could go back there…but if Kenteishu remembered…

"It was probably just the shock of all that's happened," Shin lied, "It just…all seemed to come down on me at once."

"Yes…that and that you've barely eaten since you arrived here. Even though we don't have to eat to live…we soul reapers still have hunger, Shin. Would you like me to bring you something?"

Shin nodded slowly.

"I am hungry. That would be good. Arigato, Kenteishu."

Kenteishu studied him in silence for a moment, then stepped out of the room. The moment he was gone, Shin moved to the window and slid it silently open. The cold air reminded him once again that he was too lightly dressed, but none of that mattered to him. All that mattered now was getting away. Drawing his spirit energy down, he climbed out the window. As soon as his bare feet hit the icy ground, Shin began to run.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I feel his reiatsu!" said Chisaki, winging back towards her brother, "He went this way."

Takeshi turned in the direction his sister indicated and flash stepped away. They streaked madly down street after street, through parks and fields, trying to locate the end of the reiatsu trail they followed. They could feel that he was close. It reminded Takeshi of when he would play Hide and Seek with them at home in the Sereitei…and, in truth, it was like they were playing that very game…except they really were desperate to find him. Somehow he always seemed to stay a step ahead of them. Chisaki was sure she saw him ahead of them, but was stopped from following up on the thought as a familiar voice rose up behind them.

"What in the world are you two doing here?" asked Rukia sternly.

The twins froze, then shifted back to soul reaper form.

"Aunt Rukia…" Takeshi said, wide eyed, "We…we just wanted…to find our dad."

"We heard he was here," added Chisaki, "Oh, Aunt Rukia, please don't send us back! We have to help find our dad!"

Rukia's expression softened.

"I know how you feel," she said softly, "Byakuya is my brother. I love him, too. But you two shouldn't be here. Sosuke Aizen might be with your father. If he is, he is very dangerous and he might capture you."

She studied their crestfallen faces.

"Come on…let's get you two back to Kisuke's shop. You can visit with Ururu and Jinta. And when Renji comes back, he'll decide what to do with the two of you!"

She led them back down the street towards Urahara's shop. They didn't see the dark-eyed disheveled form that watched as they walked away.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji sat on a bench in the small park, staring ahead blankly. They had been up all night, trying to find some sign of Byakuya. He felt heavy with lack of sleep and his mind was working slowly. He shook his head to clear it. He knew he should go back to Kisuke's. The others had…but for some reason, he felt he had to stay here. He thought back to a few nights before, when Byakuya had brought him to the park to fight illusory hollows. It had been a kindness since Renji had been so anxious.

_Renji, I find that when things start to get out of control…it is often beneficial to return to a simpler point in time to…regain focus._

Byakuya usually didn't concern himself with such things, but the truth was, he had done so more and more lately. It all seemed part of his captain's attempts to push Renji to move forward…When it came right down to it, it was more than obvious how much Byakuya cared about Renji's life, his happiness…those things were close to Byakuya's heart. Maybe too much so now. For although Byakuya's heart was at the core of his strength, it was also his greatest weakness. And perhaps that was the reason for his strange behavior as of late. Perhaps, Renji thought to himself, that was why he wanted so badly for Renji to advance. Maybe his heart would recover if Renji died in the line of duty under other circumstances, but maybe it was no longer possible for Byakuya to accept the fact that Renji might die _for him_. It made sense. It explained what his lover was doing. Renji wondered at himself for not reaching that understanding sooner. Yes, that even explained why Byakuya had not recalled him when the division went to Hueco Mundo. Every time they went into battle, he risked seeing Renji die to save him. And his heart could no longer take the pain of it. He understood everything now…and he resolved to find a way to work things out with his lover as soon as he found Byakuya and brought him home.

"I know you're here, somewhere," he breathed into the cold morning air, "C'mon Byakuya, give me some kind of sign…tell me where you are…"

A small sound in front of him caught his attention and he looked up. There, not ten feet away stood Byakuya, his dark eyes fixed warily on Renji. Renji looked closer at those eyes and fear tugged at him. The eyes were searching and desperate…and kami, they looked so empty! Renji froze, afraid that to move or speak would make him simply disappear. He studied the disheveled clothing. It was too light for the weather. He had to be freezing…and his feet were bare. Suddenly, he was no longer certain this was Byakuya…this flighty, ghostly specter that had appeared out of nowhere. Still, to Renji, if there was any chance of finding Byakuya…it seemed he must start here.

"You look at me as though you know me," the ephemeral form whispered.

Still afraid to move, Renji took a slow breath.

"Byakuya?" he breathed, praying he wasn't mistaken.

The man blinked slowly.

"I am…Shin."

"Is that a gigai?" Renji asked softly, "I mean…it looks like the human form you used when we were here before."

"You saw me before?"

"Yeah…don't you remember?"

The eyes turned suddenly fearful.

"Are you the one who…took me from Kenteishu? Did you take my memories?" he asked, and Renji was suddenly afraid he was going to run.

"Bya…Shin, I never took anything from you. I wouldn't do that."

He edged closer to Renji.

"Your face looks familiar…those markings…who are you?" Shin asked.

"How could you not know me, Shin?" Renji asked quietly, "I'm your life partner. I'm your vice captain…Renji Abarai."

It was obvious he didn't remember.

"Renji," Shin repeated softly, studying him carefully.

The features twisted suddenly and his eyes grew fearful again.

"You…attacked me…" he whispered, starting to back away.

Renji's eyes widened.

"That was a long time ago…Shin."

He was still backing away and Renji knew that if he didn't move, he wasn't going to get another chance. He flash-stepped to Shin, grasping him by the waist and bringing him to his knees. He was behind Shin now, holding him around the waist and he could feel the slender body shaking under his grip. He was struggling, but seemed unusually weak, too weak to break free.

"Easy, Shin, I'm not going to hurt you, but I can't let you run off. Just, try to stay calm…I just want to talk to you," he said soothingly.

"Let go."

"I can't do that. Not now that I found you. I just want to take you somewhere safe where we can talk."

"No," he gasped softly, starting to struggle again, "Let…go of me!"

"Okay, okay, we don't have to go anywhere, Shin…just relax. We can stay here. I just want to talk to you…but you look cold. You look like you're freezing. Here," he said slipping off his coat and placing it gently around Shin's shoulders, "That should be better now."

Shin relaxed noticeably.

"Arigato, Renji," he said softly, then Renji felt him take a hissing breath.

"What is it?" Renji asked.

"I…remember…tea. You brought me tea…many times."

"Yeah," Renji said, smiling at the memory, "You had to have it made the same damned way every single day…and it took me a while to learn how to make it the way you like it."

"Renji…" he said again, "Renji…Why is it that when I say your name…it feels…like, like home?"

"Maybe because you've used my name so often. Well, usually with some irritation in your voice."

He reached up and brushed the hair back from the left side of Shin's face and studied the familiar profile. Shin shivered, though not from cold.

"What are you going to do, Renji?"

"I'm going to do what a vice captain does, Shin. I'm going to watch your back…protect you from whoever did this to you."

"But Renji," he said in a frightened tone, "I don't even know who did this to me. I don't remember."

Renji loosened his grip, allowing Shin to turn and sit facing him.

"It seems like you're remembering things now. It will come to you. Shin, I may be able to help you remember more. I just…I don't want to frighten you. Is it okay with you if I draw my zanpakuto?"

Shin nodded slowly, then watched as Renji pulled Zabimaru from its sheath. He passed a hand over the slim blade and it changed form. Slowly, a creature began to appear beside them. Shin almost pulled away, but Renji grabbed his shoulder, halting the move.

"What is that?" Shin whispered.

"This," Renji told him, "is Zabimaru."

Shin studied the great white baboon carefully.

_You found him._

"So this is him?" Renji asked the creature, "This is Byakuya Kuchiki?"

_This is what's left of him…yes. He has been hypnotized with Kyoka Suigetsu. He is showing impressive signs of resisting. In truth, he probably shouldn't be remembering anything at all. There's something else you should know. His link to Senbonzakura has been removed. He could not use his zanpakuto even if he had it here. Renji, we need to move. I am feeling Kyoka Suigetsu. It is coming this way._

"Shin," Renji said softly, "Did you hear Zabimaru? We have to move. Sosuke Aizen, the one who did this to you, is on his way here. Please, you have to come with me."

Shin simply nodded, not resisting as Renji pulled him to his feet.

"I need to get you out of that gigai so we can move faster," he said, slipping a red glove onto his hand.

He struck Shin softly and the gigai fell away. Renji watched, his eyes lighting up as Byakuya emerged from it. He was thin, pale and exhausted, but he was alive and that was more than Renji had dared to hope for.

"Come on, Shin," he urged Byakuya, "Let's get out of here!"

They turned to go and almost ran into Kenteishu. Renji hesitated, but then he saw Shin's eyes widen.

It's Aizen in a gigai! Don't look at his zanpakuto

Renji closed his eyes, releasing Zabimaru instinctively.

"Byakuya!" he cried desperately, "Run!"

But it was too late. Aizen was already drawing his zanpakuto. Kyoka Suigetsu met Zabimaru with a clang. At the same moment, the zanpakuto began to glow golden and Byakuya dropped immediately to his knees, his eyes glazing over.

"Ban Kai!" shouted Renji, "Hihio Zabimaru!"

The skeletal snake formed in front of Renji.

"Hikotsu Taiho!" cried Renji, and a red blast shot towards Aizen.

He seemed to disappear beneath the red blast, but then, impossibly, Renji heard Aizen's voice close to his ear.

"Nice try, Renji,"

The pain that struck him next was staggering. He felt Aizen's zanpakuto blaze through him and then it was slowly withdrawn. He dropped to his knees, blood running down his body. Aizen pulled his head back and placed his blade at Renji's throat. He looked back at Byakuya.

"What did he tell you?" Aizen asked, his voice deadly.

"N-nothing…" gasped Byakuya, "I…"

"Nothing? Do I look stupid? He convinced you to leave with him. What did he tell you?"

The blade moved and blood welled up beneath it. Renji flinched.

"Byakuya…" Byakuya said finally, "He told me my name is Byakuya."

"Ah, I see. So much for getting you to work with me, I guess. Byakuya, you understand that if you won't work with me…I have to kill you."

He glanced down at Renji.

"What shall I do with him, Byakuya? Shall I kill him? Does he mean something to you?"

Renji felt his stomach clench at the look in Byakuya's eyes.

"Please…" he moaned softly, "Please don't…He didn't do anything. He was just trying to help me."

Aizen glared at Byakuya.

"Who is this man to you, Byakuya?" he asked sternly.

Renji felt his heart shatter as the glazed, broken eyes met his and Byakuya's words cut through him.

"No one…I don't…know who he is…only that he seemed to want to help. He shouldn't have to die for that."

Aizen released Renji, and he fell forward onto the ground at Aizen's feet.

"Byakuya, the next time you try to run, I will hunt down every person you ever loved…and I will kill them. I promise you. Do you understand?"

Byakuya nodded silently.

"It is time to return to Hueco Mundo," Aizen said, moving forward and dragging Byakuya to his feet, "I know now that trying to work with you is useless. You really are intractable, Byakuya. You will soon learn that there is a heavy price for that. What we did to you before is nothing compared to what we will do to you now."

He reached out with his zanpakuto and slashed the sky. It opened up and Aizen pulled Byakuya close. As they started to turn away, Renji lifted his head and stared up at them through a haze of blood. A hard dry sob escaped him as he saw for just a moment, the calm, dark eyes of the captain and lover he remembered.

XXXXXXXXXX

_I feel like I've been in the darkness forever. It has gotten so that I cannot remember what it felt like to be in the light. My body is weak, my mind broken, but still, even in all of the darkness, something helps me hold on. There is a face I recognize now. There is a name I know. Renji…Red hair like flame, dark tribal markings, impatient, volatile, childlike, power tempered with a heart of gold. And such loyalty that leaves me humbled. I feel that to die now would dishonor him. So I will hang on to this last thread of life. _

_I have been beaten and tormented until I cannot feel a thing, but through the emptiness comes the memory of gentle breezes, night's under the stars on the battlefield, a head resting gently in the small of my back. _

_I long to hear that voice again. I have to wonder if he is even still alive. When my enemy attacked him, it was like I felt the fire of that blow in my veins, like his cry was but an extension of my own. Something assures me he is still alive. Something tells me that I would know if he died._

_I know there must be others I once knew…places I walked, faces that I would be craving to see if they hadn't been stolen from me. Somehow I know that if I hold on, I will learn those faces again. Nothing that has been taken is really gone…not as long as he lives…because as long as he lives, he will never stop searching for me. So I will close my eyes against the pain. I will give them what they demand, and I will cling to the small shaft of light that promises that morning will eventually come._

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji stepped slowly into the Sixth Division's hidden base and eased himself into a chair. He winced at the shock of pain it caused just to go from standing to sitting. The wound Aizen gave him had been serious, but it would mend. Yes, his body would be fine. But his heart felt shattered…and he wasn't the only one. Rikichi was beside himself with guilt. He just wouldn't forgive himself for what had happened. So this base, this tiny rebellion was their only outlet. They all had to have outlets, because, like it or not, they were in a holding pattern. They didn't know where in Hueco Mundo Byakuya was being held. It was nearly driving Renji mad. Groups had been dispatched, missions completed, but there was still no word.

_The truth of this is slowly killing me. Aizen said he would have to kill Byakuya. I only hope there is something more Aizen wants that will keep him from killing my captain long enough so that we can come for him. I know he must be in hell right now. Aizen said that what he would endure would be worse than what he had already experienced. When I think of the trembling, ice-cold body and the shattered, empty eyes, I wonder now what could be worse. Will there be anything left to rescue even if he still lives?_

Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't he have taken me with him? I would have been more than willing to die to see him spared this! Why didn't I pay better attention? I know him. I saw the look that was in his eyes the day I left and I brushed it off. Could I have saved him? Could I have died for him? I'd do it in a second. He knows that. Maybe that's why he pushed me away. Maybe that's what he was saying to me. Maybe it wasn't that he didn't want me beside him. Maybe he just couldn't take the thought of me dying for him. His heart would be too broken. Have things changed so much? And is it a good thing? He was cold and indifferent before…and if that was still true, he might have more strength to see him through. But I broke that down, didn't I? I got close to him and broke down those stiff barriers and because of that the pain can reach him easily now. I saw his face as I fell defending him. He looked like he was the one Aizen stabbed. I did that to him. I opened his heart and made him vulnerable. Kami, how I hate myself for that!

"Renji," Rukia said softly, her voice breaking into his thoughts, "Renji, it's not your fault. Renji…don't cry…there's nothing you could have done."


	7. Just Try to Stay Alive

**Chapter 7: Just Try to Stay Alive**

Sosuke Aizen tapped softly on the pure white door, not even expecting an answer. The noble rarely spoke to anyone anymore. He took orders without comment and criticism without argument. As he opened the door, he found Byakuya sitting in the low window seat with his face rested against the windowpane, his eyes far away. Even as broken as he was, he was still the image of perfection to Aizen, although he had no idea what sustained him now. It was a tribute to his strength and it was breathtaking.

"Bya," he said, barely remembering when such a truncation of his name would have infuriated the man.

"Hai, Lord Aizen," came the soft reply.

"How are you today?"

"I am well."

He stepped forward into the room and closed the door behind him. Byakuya's eyes remained locked on some distant point outside the window. Aizen crossed the room and placed a hand on his shoulder. Now Byakuya looked up at him, for the noble knew by now that to refuse to do so would only result in punishment. Aizen wondered briefly if he had allowed Gin to go too far in that arena. He would have liked to see some of that old strength every now and then…but even soft and unfailingly compliant, Byakuya was still precious to him.

"I have come to tell you that your punishment is over. Again, I will remind you that it was only necessary in the first place, because you would not yield…you repeatedly defied me…and you know I cannot allow that, Bya."

"Hai, Lord Aizen."

He released Byakuya's shoulder and sat down in the window seat half-turned so they were facing each other. Byakuya's eyes were now focused on him. The eyes were dark and still beautiful, but there was an emptiness to them that saddened Aizen. He was frustrated that the process necessary to bring him to submission had resulted in the loss of the fire that used to light those eyes. He hoped that with time some of that fire might return, but realistically, there was little hope of that.

"I have come to make an agreement with you, a pact that will benefit both of us. Now that you have yielded to me, I will promise you three things. First, you will take orders from no one but me. You are my own and you are a noble. You shall be given the status you deserve. Second, no one save me will be allowed to touch you in any way or to show you disrespect. Be they hollow, soul reaper, or human, all will give you the respect that they give me. And finally, if punishments become necessary in the future, they shall be handled by me personally."

"Arigato, Lord Aizen."

"Bya, I am certain you have noticed that there was one type of punishment that I did not allow. There is a purity to you I wish to keep. As long as you do not betray me, you will remain pure. I do hope that in the future, you will come to return the feelings I have for you, but I will allow the level of intimacy we share, to be something of a choice for you. You will sleep next to me each night. I will kiss you, but anything beyond that will not be forced."

He leaned forward and took Byakuya's hands.

"I am going to remove your bindings now. Your spirit energy need no longer be sealed away. Remember, however, that your powers are to be used only by my leave."

"Hai, Lord Aizen."

He brushed a hand over the noble's wrists and the metal bands slowly faded.

"This fortress is open to you now. Within its walls, you may go where you wish, whenever you like. The training grounds are open to you and I encourage you to use them to regain your strength. You will only leave this fortress with me. Someday, I may be able to allow you to leave here, but we must build trust first. Do you understand?"

"Hai, Lord Aizen."

"Bya, you needn't use my title any more. Just refer to me as Sosuke. I think we are beyond the need for titles now."

"Hai, Sosuke."

"Now, I have two gifts for you."

He reached into his pocket and withdrew a small blood-red pendant on a silver chain. He slipped it carefully around Byakuya's neck and fastened the enchanted clasp.

"This is a symbol of our agreements, but it will also deter betrayal. If you protect me, the pendant will remain red and it will protect you against kido attacks…but if you harm me or if you willingly allow harm to come to me, it will turn black and it will destroy you. It will also kill you if you attempt to escape, or to remove or alter it."

"Arigato, Sosuke," Byakuya said softly.

Aizen smiled.

"You are most welcome."

Aizen reached down to the band at his waist and removed a beautiful katana with a light blue and gold hilt and placed it gently in Byakuya's lap. He watched Byakuya's eyes fall onto it. There was a moment of intense reaction…only in the usually empty eyes, and then he turned his head away.

"What's wrong? I told you that if you yielded to me, I would return this to you. Aren't you going to take it?"

He could feel the tears coming to the captive's eyes now. It was to be expected.

"It won't speak to me," Byakuya said finally, "It can't."

Aizen stared, mystified.

"What do you mean? Bya, are you disobeying me?"

"To disobey you would mean that you asked me to do something that it was possible for me to do and I refused. It is not me who severed this connection. It is the blade, himself."

"I think you need to explain."

"He wields such great power that when we connected, we agreed that should I ever be controlled by an enemy of the Soul Society, he would sever his connection with me. It is not within my power to use this blade any more. He will not answer me."

"I thought your memories of the past were gone. Perhaps I was wrong?"

"No…it is simply that this agreement was unbreakable, so although I remember nothing else of consequence, I remember this."

"Bya," Aizen said softly, "You know that this limits your usefulness. I will leave the blade here and you will try to get him to speak to you. That is an order."

"Hai, Sosuke, as you wish."

He withdrew from the room, closing the door behind him. Byakuya waited until he heard Aizen's steps retreat down the hallway, then he laid his hands on the katana and reached out for the sword's spirit, fully expecting only silence. It shocked him to tears when the sword's voice rose up in his mind. He felt himself drawn out of Hueco Mundo and into that inner world where they had met so many times before.

"Byakuya…" "What are doing?" Byakuya asked, "You were supposed to…"

"_I did. Right now, you have no link to our power. I know what has happened to you. You must allow me to reconnect with you. I can help you."_

"_You cannot help me. No one can. Aizen is too powerful. Remember your promise. You gave me your word."_

"_I made that promise," Senbonzakura replied softly, "but the weight of it is too much. If you and I are going to survive, we must work together. We must strengthen each other. I see what is happening to you. You are weakening, Byakuya, you will die if I don't help you! I know you have been broken and damaged, but you must let me strengthen you. Help is coming."_

"_No one can save me, Senbonzakura. He will never let me go and no one can reach me."_

"_That's not true. That's what I wanted to tell you. Zabimaru is here in Hueco Mundo. I can give a message to him and he can reach Renji Abarai."_

_He was silent for a moment and the masked warrior could sense the struggle within. Finally, Byakuya looked up at him with defeated eyes._

"_I…cannot," he whispered shakily, "Senbonzakura, I do not want him to come for me."_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Lord Aizen," Gin said, smiling widely, "Can I assume that now that you have Byakuya well-in-hand that we will resume our attacks on the soul reaper base?"

"I told you, Gin, that he is to be referred to only as Captain Kuchiki," Aizen said reprovingly.

"Seems rather silly, doesn't it? I mean, he isn't working for them anymore…and even though you are having such fun putting him on that little pedestal, he is really pretty mindless at this point."

"I returned his powers and his blade, Gin. Don't cross him…and don't cross me."

Gin chuckled.

"Are you sure that is wise, Sosuke? He's likely to stab you in the back."

It was Aizen's turn to laugh.

"I've seen to that…"

"Well," Gin continued, "Getting back to the soul reaper base…"

Aizen gazed out the window across the sand dunes.

"We will need to wait for a few days. I want them to have a chance to see Captain Kuchiki at my side. I would like to be certain that they don't send a rescue mission for him."

"It's always about him, now, isn't it? I still don't understand your fascination with him."

"I don't expect that you would…but he does. That's all that matters."

XXXXXXXXXX

"_Byakuya…Why don't you want to be rescued? Why won't you call for him? You know that he would come."_

_Byakuya sighed._

"_I know that."_

"_Then, why…?"_

"_He cannot defeat Aizen."_

_Now the warrior bristled._

"_When did you become such a quitter?" he snapped._

"_I simply stated a fact," Byakuya replied quietly, "Renji is no match for Aizen. That became clear the last time they met. Senbonzakura, Renji was nearly killed and he didn't put a scratch on Aizen."_

"_Well," he said sarcastically, "Might I remind you that you that Ichigo Kurosaki was once no match for us. He became stronger and he defeated us, because he found something that was worth fighting for."_

"_I remember nothing of this," Byakuya said blankly._

"_Ah, yes, that's right. You remember Renji, but little else."_

_He was silent for a moment._

"_Byakuya, I may be able to help you with that."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Sosuke Aizen's zanpakuto may still prevent you from remembering when you are out there, but remember that you haven't really lost your memories. You are merely unable to access them because of the hypnosis. It is an exterior control that has no bearing here. That is why you have remembered my name," he explained._

"_Then, why don't I remember anything else?" he asked, "If that is the case, my memory here should remain intact."_

"_Perhaps it is. Have you really tried to remember anything since you reconnected with me?" he asked._

"_No."_

"_Then, perhaps you should."_

"_No."_

_His eyes flashed with fury and cherry blossoms spun in the air around him._

"_What is wrong with you? I tell you that your memory might be accessible here…something that might help you to fight back…and you dare to refuse to even try to attempt it?"_

"_You don't understand."_

"_Then help me to understand. What has happened to you? Why won't you fight for your freedom?" he demanded, "Why don't you want to remember?"_

"_I am…afraid."_

"_Ridiculous!" Senbonzakura exclaimed, "Byakuya Kuchiki is not afraid of anything! The Byakuya Kuchiki who commands me would never let fear stop him. He has faced pain that would have staggered others and even death…and he has never given in."_

"_As I said, I remember nothing from before. If I was fearless, it is because my experience, my life made me that way. I have no reference points. I don't understand why I feel as I do…about anything."_

_The cherry blossoms began to swirl around them, thickening until they were all he could see._

"_What are you doing?" Byakuya asked, his eyes widening._

"_I'm going to make him give you back your reference points. No…don't argue with me, Byakuya. It won't do any good. The lack of connections within you is slowly weakening and killing you. I will not allow you to be weak. They may have beaten you and broken your body and your mind, but as long as this place exists inside you, they have not destroyed your heart. This is the core of your strength and it will sustain you, despite your fears and your weakness. Have faith in me…and have faith in yourself. You will regain your freedom. Now, open your mind!"_

"_Answer me one question, first. If you and my captors both use force to control me, how are you different?"_

_The spinning blossoms slowed and fell away and the masked warrior approached him and gazed at him, his eyes suddenly sad._

"_The difference, Byakuya, is that they used force to cause you pain, to control you, to bend your will to their design. The power I use is also painful sometimes, but it always has your best interests at heart and it will never be used to harm you."_

"_How do you know what my 'best interests' are, when I myself do not remember them?"_

"_Byakuya, you may not remember your life, but I remember every moment of it that I spent with you, since first you learned my name! Right now, I know you better than you know yourself."_

"_I cannot argue with that," he admitted._

"_Then do what you have always done. Trust me. Let me give you back what was taken…even if it is only here, and please, let me try to reach for Zabimaru. Give me and yourself, a chance to be free again."_

"_I don't remember what freedom feels like."_

"_Then let me remind you," Senbonzakura whispered, gathering his spirit energy._

_He closed his eyes and felt the swaying and dancing of petals around him, soft feathery touches on his skin, and a comforting warmth that he vaguely remembered. He slipped into a state of half awareness. Around him, images were forming, circling him, and then plunging into him, rising up and coming to life, filling with color and light. He caught his breath sharply as faces resolved themselves before him, their names breaking through and forcing him to speak them aloud. The names held power that flashed around him, filling the void within him with the emotions that connected him to them, that connected him to places and events they had shared. He remembered suddenly that all of this had been taken away and that loss brought pain…then rage that sent his spirit energy soaring. _

_"That's the spirit!" Senbonzakura breathed, "Now…what message shall I give Zabimaru?"_

_The words burst free of him before he could think to stop them._

_"Tell Renji not to lose hope…Tell him that his captain is still here."_

Aizen felt the sudden flare of Byakuya's reiatsu and turned back toward the noble's room. A flash-step later he was at the white door, bursting through and staring down at the pale form that lay in the window seat. He moved quickly to Byakuya's side and felt a chill slice through him as he caught sight of the noble's blank open eyes.

"Bya," he called, concerned, "Bya, what happened?"

His eye fell to Byakuya's hands. They were clenched around Senbonzakura, holding the weapon in a death grip. He tried to pull the sword away, but the nobleman's hands would not release it and could not be forced from it.

"You petal-slinging bastard!" he growled, "How dare you!"

He lifted the unconscious noble, surprised to notice that although Byakuya's hands were tightly clenched, there was no tension in the rest of his body. He placed Byakuya on the bed with the sword still held across his body. He removed Kyoka Suigetsu and focused.

_What is it? the zanpakuto asked._

"I want to talk to him," Aizen said, his voice deadly.

There was a pause.

_He refuses to speak to you. He is incensed by what you have done to Byakuya._

"I don't care. Tell him that unless he wants the both of them destroyed, he will speak to me!"

_He says he will not waste the sound of his voice on one such as you and you will not be allowed to enter Byakuya's inner world, but he agrees to speak through me._

"Tell him I will tolerate this, but I am not amused. Ask his highness exactly what it is that he is doing to Byakuya."

_He has rendered Byakuya catatonic. He claims that the loss of his memories has proved too much and he is beginning to die. He allowed me to examine his reiatsu and his words are true. If left as he is, Byakuya will linger for some time, but he will weaken and die._

"But I made sure that the punishments, although harsh, were not fatal!"

_Were you listening? I said nothing about physical damage. Sosuke, when you removed his memories, he lost the will to live. His strength lies in his connections with others. When he lost that, he lost his reasons to endure. The only reason he has lasted this long is because he has some resistance to my power. A few memories have leaked through the hypnotic block…but even these will not sustain him for long._

"You say he's been remembering things?"

_He remembers his vice-captain and some images and impressions. He remembers that you did something to him, although he doesn't remember exactly what._

"So he has been fighting back. Ask what must be done to save his life."

_He is being difficult. He says he would rather they both die than that he face any more of your machinations. He says you have done enough to Byakuya._

"Tell him I'll give a few concessions. I do need for him to live!"

_He says that you must return Byakuya's memories. Remove the hypnotic block._

"Impossible."

_He says to make it possible._

"Remind him that Byakuya is too dangerous to me without some kind of controls."

_He says that the pendant will keep Byakuya from being dangerous to you. I would remind you, though, that it won't keep him from harming your subordinates. Sosuke, I would also remind you that his strength lies in his connections to others. You could return some of his memories and use them to keep him from attacking your subordinates or escaping._

"I will not allow him to dictate terms! What will he offer me for this?"

_He will partially reconnect with him, but his power will be defensive power only. He will be able to defend himself and you. He also says that he will not kill any ally of his._

"I see. Tell him this. Tell him that for what he offers, I will return all of his memory, but only when he sleeps. That should provide some level of protection for me, and some incentive for him to live.

_He agrees to your terms as long as you cease beating him. He says that it is not going to have any real effect now anyway. Byakuya has already been rendered passive._

"Come now, I must be able to punish poor behavior."

_He reminds you that for poor behavior to exist, there must be intent to disobey. Byakuya no longer has the strength of will for that._

"I wonder if he's really worth this," Aizen mused.

Kyoka Suigetsu emitted something suspiciously close to a chuckle.

_I think, Sosuke Aizen, you should only ask questions like that if you want a candid answer. I see much in this obsession of yours that you do not yet grasp._

"What are you saying?" Aizen snapped.

_Ah, just thinking aloud. Is there anything else or can I stop talking to him?_

"Tell him that we have an agreement. Warn him that there will be heavy consequences if he interferes anymore.

_As you wish_

He leaned over Byakuya, holding his katana close. The noble's eyes closed and he relaxed his grip on the zanpakuto. Aizen gently removed it and placed it on a nearby table. He returned to Byakuya's side and released his zanpakuto. Golden light surrounded the two men and flared briefly. When it faded, the noble's eyes opened and came to rest on Aizen.

"What happened?" he asked softly.

Aizen took his hands and brought him slowly to his feet.

"Come, Bya, it is time for us to prepare for bed."

He didn't miss the tremor that passed through the noble's body.

"I promised I would not cross certain boundaries with you. Be at ease. Come."

He led Byakuya down several hallways to a set of double doors. He opened them and motioned for the noble to follow. The inside of the room they entered made Byakuya stop and stare. The room was huge, with large sandstone walkways up either side, which met at the top of a lovely waterfall. The waterfall descended into an immense steaming pool. Exotic flowers were everywhere, sending sweet fragrances floating all around the room. The ceiling was glass and was open to provide a sweeping view of the stars. They paused at the edge of the pool and Aizen studied Byakuya's rapt expression.

"I see you like it. I find it a restful place. We will come here each night to bathe. I hope you shall enjoy it. He turned and reached for the tie at Byakuya's waist. The noble pulled away sharply and Aizen placed a corrective hand on his arm.

"Do not pull away. I will keep to the boundaries I spoke of earlier, but we will bathe together. You must grow more comfortable being in my presence. This will help you to do that. You will eventually learn to trust me."

He reached again for the tie and this time met with no resistance, just a tension that appeared and quickly released. He removed the kimono and motioned for Byakuya to enter the pool.

"I will follow," he said, "Go on."

Byakuya waded slowly into the pool, staring at the flowers and trying to forget he was a captive locked away in Aizen's fortress, with his captor some fifty feet away and watching closely. The water was comfortably warm and the waterfall felt wonderful cascading over his head, shoulders and back. He was so entranced by it that he forgot for a moment that he wasn't alone and was startled when a warm hand touched his bare shoulder. He turned toward Aizen, but kept his eyes turned aside. Aizen did not miss the gesture.

"It seems," Aizen said quietly, "that you still have a bit of defiance left…or is it just discomfort?"

He caught hold of Byakuya's chin and lifted it so the dark eyes came to rest on his.

"Don't concern yourself," he added dismissively, "You will grow accustomed to this. It will bother you less and less as time goes on."

Byakuya tried then to focus on the very simple act of bathing, but had that taken away as well when Aizen took the soap from him and rubbed it onto his body, cautiously avoiding any areas likely to evoke an objection. To Byakuya, this was almost worse than if the man had attempted more questionable kinds of touch. Even though it couldn't be considered sexual, it was a sensual assault. But broken as he was, he couldn't connect with the anger he felt seething deep down. Such anger would only result to a return to the cell he had occupied for nearly two weeks after returning from the living world…and the beatings that went along with that. As long as Aizen kept his word, Byakuya chose to ignore his careful advances. No matter what Aizen said or did, Byakuya resolved never to give in to them…not ever. He wondered darkly, how long it would be before Aizen lost his patience and took what he wanted. Ideally, Aizen wanted Byakuya to be the one who finally crossed the line into intimacy, but that assumed the noble would, at some point, give in. There was no telling what his captor would do upon realizing that would not happen. But even if it didn't, Byakuya could see the cage being carefully placed around him. He knew that Aizen wasn't just doing this to get closer to him…it was wounding the noble nearly as much as the punishments had…and they were wounds he would certainly feel the sting from if he ever broke free.

Still, it was infuriating that he wasn't allowed the simple act of bathing and dressing, the small things that seemed so inconsequential…except when taken away. But he resolved not to respond to it and stood quietly as Aizen washed and dried his body, then slipped a fresh kimono on and tied it at his waist.

"Come, Bya," he said, smiling, and led Byakuya down the hallway to Sosuke Aizen's bedroom.

It was much the same as the white room he had occupied before, except it was dressed in more comforting earthen tones. He might have found that a relief if it didn't mean sleeping next to Aizen. If not for the pendant, Byakuya didn't think he could have resisted killing Aizen for what he was doing. It was an infuriatingly effective means of stripping away those simple things he usually focused on to find comfort even in a place like this. Without those comforts, he was constantly forced to admit to himself that Aizen was in control…a fact he hated with ferocity, but could no longer act upon. Byakuya wondered just how long it would be before he lost his mind entirely.

He slipped into the soft bed and tried to ignore the other who followed and pulled him into a loose embrace. Aizen placed a gentle kiss on the noble's lips and closed his eyes, the noble resting against his shoulder. Byakuya almost gave in to the suicidal urge to kill him then and there. The only thing that stopped him was that the close contact with Aizen stirred a memory…of Renji, the red haired man from the park in the living world…the one who was his vice captain, his life partner…who served him tea every day made the same way…the one he was remembering in greater and greater detail. Renji would come for him. He had only to focus on one task.

"Just try to stay alive," he whispered to himself.


	8. Fallen

**Chapter 8: Fallen**

Byakuya hated the feel of Aizen's body touching his, but there was little he could do to change the situation. If he wanted to remain alive long enough for Renji to come for him, he must submit to this. It could be worse, he told himself, Aizen could have demanded more than this from him. But he seemed to know the boundaries of Byakuya's willingness to cooperate. And Byakuya would die before he would allow this man to be intimate with him. It was the one thing that would push him far enough to kill Aizen and simply accept that the cost of it was that the red pendant would kill him. They were locked in a silent battle of wills, now. It was a battle that Byakuya Kuchiki was not going to lose.

Even so, it was difficult for him to fall asleep in Aizen's arms. It was a long time before his intense emotions faded and he succumbed to sleep.

"_You came back," Renji's voice said softly, and he could feel the barely restrained tears._

_They were standing in their bedroom, looking out into the garden. Outside of their room, cherry blossoms swirled on the breeze. Renji stepped closer, and Byakuya sank into his arms, speechless with relief._

"_You've been gone for too long, Byakuya…"_

_He still couldn't speak, but he lifted his head and brought his mouth to Renji's, indulging in a deep, sensuous kiss. He felt Renji start in surprise, a soft distraction that caused the dream to shimmer in his mind. But now Renji's mouth opened and met his hungrily and they fell onto their bed together, their bodies pressed tightly against each other._

"_Make love with me, Byakuya," Renji said, his voice strangely distorted._

_He was pulling at Byakuya's clothes. But Byakuya had frozen, because the face of his lover was disappearing, as was his memory of the place he and Renji had been only seconds before._

Byakuya was soundly shaken when he suddenly realized that he was no longer dreaming. The mouth that was fastened on his, the body beneath him, the voice that had spoken was not Renji's. Aizen's face was alive with passion and his mouth devoured Byakuya's eagerly. As the noble rolled away, Aizen moved with him, and suddenly Byakuya found himself in a very vulnerable position. The brown eyes that held his flared with undisguised lust. He felt the change in Byakuya's behavior and slowly pulled away, looking down at the noble with anger rising in his eyes.

"Byakuya," he said in a warning voice, "I did tell you that I would respect certain boundaries with you, but believe me, I will make no promises as to my behavior if you cross them…even in your dreams."

And it was then that Byakuya realized the cruelty of what had been done. He knew that the dreams he had were of home, even though the memory of it ended when he woke, He knew that Aizen must have restored his memory so that his sleeping mind could remember. He had thought it a kindness, a concession. He realized now how naïve that kind of thinking was. Aizen cared nothing for his comfort, only for establishing and maintaining control over him. He knew Byakuya would not consciously betray Renji, so this was how he planned to shatter the noble's resolve. It was, he realized a very well executed plan. It had almost worked. And the only way to stop it from working was for Byakuya to refuse to sleep. How long would that last? He didn't imagine Aizen would allow him to make up for lost sleep by sleeping during the day. Byakuya cringed inwardly. He hated this man more and more by the moment. And he promised himself that before he crossed that final boundary, he would kill Aizen and simply welcome the death that would follow. It would be worth it.

Still, though he managed to control his dreams after that and managed to avoid a repeat of that first night, there was a slow defeat that was taking place night after night as the ritual repeated itself, a wearing down of his spirit that left Byakuya empty and cold. When they bathed, Sosuke's hands touched him everywhere now, while he stood calmly, his mind detached and far away. And each night before they fell asleep, Sosuke's mouth held his more tightly and for a longer duration. Despite his promise not to step over boundaries, there was no helping the way their bodies touched while his captor eagerly plundered his mouth. And Sosuke was not content for Byakuya to merely accept his kisses. He was, in fact, expected to respond. And responding, even against the wishes of his heart still caused reactions in his body that he was unable to control. This fact wore Byakuya's spirits down even more. He was balanced on the edge of caving in completely and Sosuke knew this. He used it to batter the noble's defenses each time they were together. And though he realized that his rescue would come, Byakuya silently wondered if it would happen before his spirit was crushed and Sosuke Aizen had taken everything. He lay beneath his captor, his mouth open, his tongue curled around Sosuke Aizen's, his body shivering with failing resistance and found himself wishing for death…but the defeated spirit inside only laughed at the thought. Sosuke Aizen would never allow him to die.

XXXXXXXXXX

Takeshi and Chisaki had to congratulate themselves on their ingenuity. Not only had they managed to escape the manor and involve themselves in the search for their father, they had managed to convince Renji to bring them to the hidden base in Hueco Mundo…something he would never have done if not for the current situation. He couldn't return the children to the Sereitei or leave them with Kisuke, because they had learned the location of the secret base and it would have invited disaster to leave them behind. They were safe enough, it was reasoned, as long as they remained within the reiatsu cage…but they had already hatched a plan for escaping.

Takeshi had been eavesdropping when Zabimaru appeared before Renji, telling him that Byakuya was still alive and imprisoned now in Aizen's main fortress near the battlefield. Senbonzakura had also admonished them not to attempt to rescue him yet, because of the red pendant, which would kill him if they helped him escape. They had to wait until the pendant was dispensed with. Somehow, Byakuya had to convince him to remove it. So Renji had resolved to wait, and Takeshi knew they wouldn't be able to help either…but knowing that he was within the base, there might be something they could do.

They watched and waited, calmly using the very lessons their parents had taught them to read the motions of the guards and to find a time when they could leave without being seen. In the early morning, they slipped away and moved in the direction they knew the fortress lay in. Chisaki took to the sky and Takeshi paced her from the ground below. They found the fortress easily and searched the perimeter, looking for a way inside, carefully watching the movements of the guards, and searching for Byakuya's reiatsu. Chisaki suddenly sensed it and winged toward it, coming to light on the railing of a small balcony. She looked up in surprise as the glass door opened and her father stepped out onto the balcony. He stared at the lovely black hawk and she stared back at him. He appeared to be alone. She remembered someone saying that he was sick…and he did look pale and thin. There was no recognition in his eyes. She edged closer to him and he remained perfectly still so as not to startle the beautiful bird.

"Captain Kuchiki," she said softly, "I am here to tell you that Vice Captain Abarai knows you are here and that he can't rescue you yet. You must somehow convince Aizen to remove the pendant. We can't get you out until you do."

Her father nodded, his face paling even more in shock at having actual contact with the force coming to rescue him. Chisaki felt his reiatsu strengthen and she felt certain that she and her brother had done the right thing. She rose into the air and came to rest on his shoulder. She nuzzled his cheek with her curved beak and felt him smile.

"Who are you?" he asked quietly, "My memory has been affected, so I don't remember you."

Her dark eye met his sadly.

"I am Chisaki," she told him, "I am your daughter."

He stared at her then, his eyes filling with tears.

"Chisaki," he repeated, "I am sorry if my inability to remember you is painful for you, but know that you look familiar. I know I have seen this hawk form before."

The hawk left his shoulder and fluttered to the floor. It shimmered softly and resolved into the shape of a little girl, one with hair and eyes like his. Byakuya dropped slowly to his knees before her.

"This," she told him, "is how I really look."

He stared at her silently, then reached for her and pulled her close. She clung to him and kissed his cheek, tears coursing down her face. He placed his chin gently on the top of her head and a shiver ran through him as he felt a jolt of memory.

"I remember this," he whispered, holding her close, "Chisaki…"

"I love you, Daddy," she sobbed quietly, kissing his cheek and clinging even more tightly.

"You must go now," he told her, pulling away, "It isn't safe for you to be here."

"We had to come," she whispered, "We had to know you were okay."

"We?" he queried softly.

"Takeshi and me."

She pointed to some rocks below and Byakuya saw a red wolf peek out at him.

"Takeshi," he said, smiling with the memory that followed, "my son…"

"Yes," said Chisaki, wiping her face with the back of her hand, "You're remembering!"

He nodded.

"I am. Seeing you has helped…but you have to go now. I am never left alone for very long. But Chisaki, you must send word to Renji. In two days, Aizen plans to attack the Hueco Mundo base. You have to warn them…the force that comes will be very strong. Chisaki, you and Takeshi go back. Don't come back here. They are taking me with them to the battlefield."

The girl nodded and shifted back to hawk form. She flew to his shoulder and nuzzled his cheek gently one last time, then flew away, the red wolf bounding along on the ground below her. Byakuya watched silently until they were out of sight. The memories were coming back faster now. The hypnosis was beginning to fail.

"That was a beautiful hawk," a voice said from behind him, "So they came to see you."

Byakuya froze.

Aizen placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't concern yourself. I told you. As long as they don't attack me, I won't have any reason to hurt them. They are, after all, children. But I do know what this means…Byakuya. I know some memories are returning. As long as they do not cause your defiance to return, I will allow them to remain…but if you become defiant again, I will take them from you again. Make no mistake. I will tolerate no disobedience from you."

"Hai, Sosuke."

"I am glad you understand. Now, it is time to leave. Come, you must prepare."

Byakuya followed Aizen back inside and forced himself to remain still and detached as Aizen removed his clothes and dressed him in an Arrancar uniform.

"While we are under war conditions, you will sleep separate from me and dress yourself. It is not necessary for others to know what exists between us. I want them to respect you. They won't do that if they see these things."

Byakuya nodded.

"The uniform looks good on you, Bya."

Arigato…but Sosuke, must you continue to call me that? You say you want others to respect me. They will hardly do so if you continue to misuse my name so."

Aizen smiled in amusement.

"Ah, I see. A finely played argument…Byakuya. As long as you remember your place, I will indulge you.

Byakuya lifted Senbonzakura and slipped it into his belt. He didn't miss the look of annoyance on Aizen's face at the sight of the zanpakuto…and it brought an amused smirk to Byakuya's lips that Aizen couldn't help but notice. It almost made Aizen long for the return of the much more passive Bya.

But he had to admit that seeing the life return to Byakuya's eyes was a relief. He did not enjoy passivity in this man. In fact, he desired Byakuya for his strength. He was going to need that when they reached the soul reaper base. He was going to give the 13 Court Guard Squads the shock of their lives. They had feared Byakuya Kuchiki when he was on their side…now they would be terrified.

"Come," he said, a bit more stridently than he intended.

"Hai, Sosuke," the noble replied, turning to follow him out of the room.

They proceeded in silence down the long hallway. Somewhere along the way, Gin fell in behind him and Aizen felt the tension rise between him and the noble.

"Captain Kuchiki," Gin said, too pleasantly.

"Gin," Byakuya replied in a clipped voice.

"Nice attire," Gin continued.

"Gin," Aizen said in warning.

"Just paying a compliment," he replied, his smile widening, "It is certainly better than drab black, even with the white of a captain's haori."

"Gin," Aizen said again, more stridently.

"My apologies, Sosuke," Gin said, sounding a bit too repentant.

They descended a large stairway and stepped out the great doors into the main courtyard. Aizen noticed a change in Byakuya's reiatsu. He wasn't used to being in such an open place, having confined himself mostly to the training room and his own room. He watched as the noble bowed his head slightly, a tremor moving through his otherwise tightly controlled form.

In the courtyard, they met the security force, a collection of strong Arrancar and several espada, along with several strong, but not as willful, subordinates. He watched as Byakuya's guard took his place two steps behind the noble. He was there to protect, but also as an unspoken reminder that, although he was a man of high status, he remained a captive. They swept out of the fortress and followed the main force out into the open desert. Now Aizen noticed a sharp decline in Byakuya's reiatsu and wondered if he had made a mistake by insisting they engage in this offensive maneuver so soon. They couldn't have waited much longer. Byakuya's location had been discovered and there might have been a nasty confrontation that could have resulted in unnecessary loss of life. He stepped close to the noble, placing a bracing hand on his arm.

"You aren't used to the open desert," he said in acknowledgement.

"I wonder if I ever have been," Byakuya commented distantly.

"You will get used to it, Byakuya."

"As with most things," the noble finished, looking at the ground.

They continued walking.

"You always seemed to prefer the close, cool environs of the forest," Aizen said finally.

"Hmm, perhaps," Byakuya answered noncommittally, "I do enjoy the tranquility of the bathing room. Perhaps it is the warmth and the smell of flowers that I find…comforting."

It was a surprisingly candid observation. Aizen smiled.

"Hueco Mundo offers little in the way of cool forests, but we could visit the sea. There is more life there to soothe the senses."

"That is…encouraging," Byakuya replied, sighing softly.

The heat and the swirling sand prevented much more in the way of conversation as they moved across the dunes toward the base that seemed to always draw the noble's calm gaze. As darkness drew near, Aizen called a halt and camp was made for the night. Aizen remained near the watchfires, watching as the noble locked his eyes on the moon and constellations. He stood nearly motionless, his eyes moonlit and strangely alive, despite his captive state. It brought Aizen away from the watchfires and to Byakuya's side.

"You seem to be adjusting to the desert," he observed.

The noble did not move.

"Perhaps…but I think it is only the darkness and the light of the moon. It seems somewhat…familiar."

Aizen nodded.

"I remember when I used to live in the Sereitei that you were often like this, frozen under the night sky…looking upward."

"I wouldn't know," Byakuya stated quietly.

"But you know that you enjoy it now."

"Perhaps…but it could be out of habit. You have said before that I have always thrived on routine."

"You paid attention," Aizen smiled.

"It aids in survival," he stated simply.

Aizen was silent for a moment.

"Byakuya," he said after some thought, "I would like it if you learned to enjoy some elements of your new surroundings. I don't wish for this to be unpleasant for you."

Byakuya seemed to consider what he said, his eyes still locked on the sky.

"Sosuke, I understand this, but you need to understand that some creatures were never meant for captivity. Even if they learn to make themselves somewhat content, they will never stop longing for home…even if they cannot remember what home feels like."

Aizen put a hand on his shoulder.

"Perhaps…but sometimes adjustments are unavoidable. Go to sleep, Byakuya. You've been telling me for some time that your dreams are always pleasant now. That is encouraging."

"To some extent," Byakuya replied, "but I find it disconcerting that the dreams fade so completely. I would like to remember them."

"Ah, yes, well…we all have to return to reality sometime, Byakuya."

"Eventually," Byakuya agreed.

XXXXXXXXXX

_The camp has gone quiet now, though I still hear the soft shifting of the guards at the entrance to my tent. I do wish to sleep, but I cannot shake the feeling that has dwelt inside ever since leaving the closeness of the fortress. I feel…unsafe. I tell myself that it is as Sosuke said, that my discomfort is due to the fact that I was enclosed for so long and I will adjust with time. I push my fears away and fall into a troubled slumber._

_I awaken some time later to a hand over my mouth, a knife at my throat and the rasping sound of a hollow's whisper in my ear. The sound is chilling. I am pulled from my bed and forced out of an opening cut in the back of the tent. I cannot tell how many captors are around me. They have shoved something into my mouth so I cannot be heard. I hear the heavy breathing and the soft scraping of their clawed feet on the rocky ground. I am not afraid, not even when they stop, certain they are far enough away, and the beating begins. I have been beaten before, but without Gin's evil glare, I am able to retreat, to move to that distant place inside, where even the blows that shatter bone and draw blood cannot be felt. They plan to kill me when they are done. They know what Aizen will do to any who lay hands on me now. I am still unafraid._

_It is not until they pause, until I feel metal bands slide onto my wrists, that I know I am truly damned. They check the gag, useless to this point, because I have not cried out. They know what they are about to do will change that. I know it, too. I come to realization as the blows stop and as the rending of the Arrancar uniform begins. My hatred of the uniform dissolves as it is torn away and clawed hands pull at my limbs, anchoring me in place. But there is something that none of us realized. A simple gift bestowed on me has an unexpected effect. As the hollow move in close, I feel a burning at my throat as the red pendant flares brightly. Laughing, they seek to tear it from me, only to have the laughter rise into screams of terror as the red light expands around us. It burns them and their screams increase sharply in pitch before dying into nothing. There bodies fall lifelessly to the ground all around me. I am laughing now beneath the gag, laughing and crying at the same time._

_Footsteps sound in the distance, but they do not reach me for some time, because they are unsure where the cries came from. I cannot make a sound, still gagged and frozen beneath the broken hollow. I stare up into the sky, counting the stars as I wait. Finally, the footsteps reach me and voices rise sharply all around. There is only one that will soothe me, only one that is reassuring, only one that tells me the beating is over. When it reaches me, I shatter._

_He removes the gag and asks if I can hear him. I nod, not wanting the weakness to be betrayed if I were to speak. He doesn't let anyone touch me now. He lifts me and carries me to his own tent, placing me carefully in his bed. Healers push forward, but now I find my voice. Now I begin to fight. He is at my side, reassuring me that no more harm will come to me. I laugh in his face and remind him coldly that he promised no one would touch me…and that although I would be beaten, there were some things I would be spared. Even though the pendant protected me from this in the end, we realize now that it was a weak promise. I don't belong here and there will always be those that will try to express that in their own foul ways. Reluctantly, he orders the healers away and comes again to my side. Gin's smile is wider than usual and his eyes glint in amusement as he follows the healers out of the tent. Aizen uses his own power to heal me now. I allow it until his hand moves to my bruised thighs, then I pull away, screaming in something between anger and fear. He retreats. Neither of us can sleep now. He sits nearby watching me with eyes I think must be as shadowed as my own. This is a fear we share now._

XXXXXXXXXX

Sosuke Aizen was feeling something surprising. He was afraid. It wasn't a feeling he was all that familiar with. It was one he had avoided over the years, mostly through domination. If he saw a threat, he ended it. It was that way with all things until Byakuya Kuchiki crossed his path. He had been certain that, like all other times, it was merely his obsession to possess and control a threat, to remove something that he might have to fear that drove him to first abduct the captain. Even this time, he had been certain that he viewed Byakuya as a danger to be controlled. Still, he was captivated. It left him unnerved and driven to this. But this wasn't really his plan. Byakuya had simply fallen into his hands and Aizen had been scrambling to keep up with his constantly shifting intentions, a loss of focus. Now he was in actual danger. He wondered if he should simply kill Byakuya. At this point, it would almost seem merciful.

Seeing Byakuya half-naked and battered, pinned beneath the dead attackers had shocked him. He realized that the hold he had over the hollow only reached so far. By bringing him out of the safety of the fortress, he had made Byakuya vulnerable…and it exposed Aizen, himself, as well. For somewhere along the line, he had started to care about making the noble content, if not happy. Somewhere along the line, his intent had shifted from control to…to what? To something that caused him to shrink from the idea of his captive being hurt or killed while in his care. To something that made him treat the noble with a high level of respect, even in his captivity. To something that made him want to be sure that Byakuya would remain at his side. But those sentiments seemed insane and reckless to him now. These were sentiments he didn't dare indulge in. They had made him as vulnerable as his captive.

He fought off the urge to cross the room and simply put Byakuya out of his misery. It was probably what he should do at this point, because they both realized what could happen. Aizen couldn't allow himself to be vulnerable…and Byakuya was the source of his vulnerability. It was a pattern he had repeated with hundreds of enemies before this one and all of the rest were dead. He raised his eyes and gazed across the room. The dark eyes were open and fixed on the ceiling. His body had ceased its shaking and now rested calmly, almost motionless.

Morning was coming, the light breaking brightly over the camp. Still heavy with dread, Aizen moved to Byakuya's side, pausing to pick up one of his own uniforms. He dropped it next to the noble wordlessly and left the tent.

Inside the tent, Byakuya sat up slowly, thankful that Aizen had been able to partially heal him before his loss of control. He dressed equally slowly, feeling the stinging reprimand his body gave him for his rash behavior. But he was all too aware now that his life was in grave danger. The list of his enemies was growing by the moment, and the one protector he had was losing his nerve. He had lain awake all night. He had felt the storm that moved through his captor. He understood just how close Aizen had come to killing him. He hated the idea of having come so far, having recaptured hope, only to have it swept away by these bone encrusted monsters. They were worse than nightmares. They surrounded him on all sides and they never slept. He couldn't escape them, not yet. He had to somehow convince Aizen to remove the red pendant before that could happen…but the same pendant had saved him. To discard it was dangerous, but it was, in fact, necessary. His mind deeply focused, he left the tent and moved out into the bustle of the camp.

In a short time, they started walking again, the main force in front and the officers spaced carefully throughout. They were close to the base, now. They would be expected. Byakuya wondered if anyone would know him now. He wasn't even sure what he looked like before, but he had seen his uniform once while in captivity. It was still somewhere in the fortress, but Aizen had never revealed where it had been taken after he saw it that first night. It belonged to another person, someone who had died a long time ago. Aizen thought it would be better if he didn't dwell on the past. That, he explained, was why Byakuya must not think about what had been. He must move forward. It was a given now that going back was not an option. But then, there was Renji to consider.

He still remembered little else, but now he remembered his vice captain. The face was clear and most of their history was present. There were vague references to others, but Renji was the only one in full focus. He still didn't understand why he was given back his memories of Renji. It was wonderful to have a reference point, a past of any kind, but why had Aizen allowed it when his words advised Byakuya to forget the past? It had something to do with Senbonzakura. It was at the root of why his captor hated the zanpakuto. But he refused to explain it to him and told him to just be patient. Renji would come for him. Renji would be at the base. But Renji could not free him…no one could until the pendant was removed. And after the attack on him, it was likely that he would die by Aizen's own hand before the pendant would be removed. He silently wished the beating had been violent enough to kill him. Then it would already be over. Though Renji was the impatient one, it was Byakuya whose patience was wearing thin now. As they reached the battleground and the lines were set, Byakuya took his place at Aizen's side and gazed over at the other side where he sensed that his vice captain waited.


	9. The Red Light of Zabimaru

**Chapter 9: The Red Light of Zabimaru**

"Vice Captain," Rikichi said urgently, "We found a messenger in the desert looking for us. He said he was ordered by the head captain to find us and to deliver a message. He agreed to be blindfolded so he would not see the way."

"Send him in," Renji replied, glancing over at Rukia and Ichigo.

Two guards entered the room, leading a blindfolded Hanatarou. They removed the blindfold and the healer stepped forward.

"Hanatarou!" said Ichigo, smiling, "Hey…good to see you. I hope the news is good."

The healer was smiling.

"Renji, I have a hell butterfly from the head captain."

A black butterfly flew from his finger to Renji's.

_Vice Captain Abarai,_

_I must thank you for your timely warning about the impending attack on our base. It seems that while your senses might have failed you somewhat, your sense of duty is still very much intact. I have had time to rethink my order to have you return to the Sereitei. I understand your division's need to involve itself in the search for Captain Kuchiki. But now I must order your return to the base in Hueco Mundo. Your division is the only one within reach of the base. You must return now to assist the second and eleventh divisions in its defense. Otherwise, I fear the base will fall. I will grant your division amnesty from any charges regarding your rebellious actions. Relief teams are coming and two more divisions are being sent. You must hold the base. Everything depends on this. Vice Captain, due to the extended missing status of Captain Kuchiki, you are hereby named acting Captain of the 6__th__ Division. Best of luck to you. _

Renji stared, pale-faced as the head captain's words resonated.

"…_due to the extended missing status of Captain Kuchiki, you are hereby named acting Captain of the 6__th__ Division."_

He felt a sick feeling in his stomach and when he looked up at Rukia and Ichigo, he saw that they were equally affected.

"So just like that, you're off the hook and he wants you to drop everything and go back?" hissed Ichigo, "That's some nerve…"

"Hey…don't worry about it," Renji said quietly, "No one is forgetting the captain. Chisaki actually talked to him at Aizen's fortress. She used her hawk form. It was the captain who gave us the warning about the attack. Ichigo, he's going to be there."

"That's…good, isn't it?" Ichigo asked.

Rukia and Renji exchanged knowing glances and shook their heads.

"If you're on our side…it's not. We're just lucky Chisaki got that message. Otherwise, the base wouldn't stand a chance. I think that it is time for us to go. Rikichi, tell the troops we're breaking camp. We leave in two hours!"

Renji watched carefully as the hollows massed outside the barrier. The alert sensors had already been tripped, but the enemy was taking its time setting their lines and trying to unnerve the base's defenders with deep growls and coarse screams. The soul reapers stood ready, Renji, Rikichi, Rukia, and Ichigo all prepared to shield and the second, sixth, and eleventh spread out over the battlefield. They just waited for the first strike against the barrier, the one that would start what they expected to be a very nasty battle. Renji stared out across the battlefield, his eyes searching. They came to rest on a tall, dark-haired man standing calmly next to Aizen. A shock passed through him as he recognized his captain.

"Damn them!" he cried angrily, "Rukia, look!"

"Byakuya," Rukia whispered in shock.

Ichigo and Rikichi followed their gaze and their eyes came to rest on Byakuya. He looked far different from the soul reaper he had been. He was pale and thin, and even from such a distance, his eyes looked shadowed and sad. He stood a step behind Aizen, but in plain view of the soul reapers. It was a message…and Renji Abarai knew better than any what was being said. A rumble went through the troops. They saw the captain and many shouted their angry thoughts. Renji's eyes widened. They didn't understand what had been done. They didn't understand what was being done. They didn't know it was all a machination to make sure that no one would come to save the captain.

"Renji," breathed Rikichi.

"Don't think about it, kid. It's just a game they're playing. They are messing with our heads. There's no way he'd help them."

He turned to speak to Ichigo, but he and Rukia were raising the shield. The hollow were coming and they had to forget for the moment about their captain and focus on winning the battle. Incantations began and zanpakuto were prepared for release. The shield dropped…and suddenly a series of cero blasts ripped through, tearing into the troops finishing their incantations. The soul reapers responded by releasing their zanpakuto and many started to release kido without the incantation. The eleventh burst through to the front lines, slamming into the waiting hollow, tearing them to pieces with mindless ferocity.

The soul reapers with Ban Kai released them and rained fire down onto their foes. Renji sent the skeletal snake flying over the battlefield. His mind followed the battle, but kept coming back to Byakuya. He saw Aizen turn to the captain and words were exchanged, then to Renji's horror, he saw the rising swords of Byakuya's Ban Kai. The captain stood with his power activated, Aizen within his protected sphere. There were shouts of terror now. Certain that Byakuya was about to attack, the eleventh fought harder, nearly breaking through to where the captain and Aizen stood. Byakuya simply stood waiting, allowing the hollow to fight, holding his considerable power in reserve. So intent was Renji on this exchange that he didn't see Rikichi activate his Ban Kai and soar across the battlefield towards Byakuya. By the time he did see it, it was too late for him to move, too late to do anything but watch the young man he had so carefully trained die at the hands of his own captain.

"Rikichi…No!" he screamed.

The golden fire eagle soared over the battlefield dodging cero and fire blasts. He winged toward Byakuya, moving downward, swooping in to land. But Byakuya was moving now. His sphere of petals flashed and moved in to surround the eagle. Renji could hear the youth cry out across the battlefield.

"Captain!"

The sphere closed around the youth and swept back across the battlefield. The soul reapers screamed in fear as it descended, but all were amazed when the sphere simply opened and deposited the boy, unhurt, on the ground near Renji.

Renji saw Aizen turn on Byakuya. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew that Aizen was angry at the captain.

"Bastard's probably mad he didn't kill Rikichi! Well, I'll teach him to mess with us! Hikotsu Taihou!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"What are you doing!" Aizen yelled at Byakuya, taking hold of his cloak.

Byakuya simply allowed this, waiting for Aizen to indicate he wanted an answer. He shook the captain violently.

"Answer me!"

"The boy was not attacking," Byakuya stated, "He was landing."

"What?" Aizen yelled furiously, "He could have attacked at any time! How did you know he wouldn't?"

"I…"

"Never mind…you will be punished for this, Byakuya. Now the next one who tries to reach us dies! If not, then you will, I promise you!"

Byakuya's eyes rose as the skeletal snake flew across the battlefield. Aizen had moved away from him and was talking briefly with Gin. The skeletal snake twisted suddenly, changing course and winging toward Aizen. Byakuya felt the pendant burning at his throat. He knew the red blast was coming, but the snake was too close. The red pendant left him bereft of choices. It was already beginning to change. If he did not act, he was dead…and even if he did… Flash-stepping, he threw himself into Aizen, shoving him aside and taking the full weight of the blast onto himself. Across the battleground, Renji cried out in horror, trying to quickly lower the power of his attack. It slammed into Byakuya before the captain could raise his petal shield, driving him backwards and throwing him violently to the ground. The eleventh took advantage of the distraction, breaking through and heading toward Aizen, Gin, and Byakuya. Gin flash-stepped out of harm's way, but Aizen moved back to defend the fallen captain, drawing his zanpakuto. Endless copies of Aizen and Byakuya filled the area, allowing Aizen to grab Byakuya and pull him out of the battle. He picked up the noble and carried him to the healing area, laying him down gently and calling for healers. They were there immediately, checking the captain for injuries.

"This is very bad," the hollow physician said, studying Byakuya's motionless form, "He wasn't fully healed from the attack last night. He shouldn't have been in this battle."

"Heal him!" Aizen yelled.

He ran back to the battlefield, realizing quickly that the hollows were losing the battle and ordering them to fall back into defensive position. As soon as the defenses were set and the battle ceased, Aizen moved back to the healing area. He was furious to find that the hollow were tending to other hollows, leaving the captain unattended.

"You were ordered to tend to Captain Kuchiki!" he yelled at the physicians.

One of the physicians approached Aizen cautiously.

"The soul reaper is not going to live. There are others we can save. We have to prioritize."

"That soul reaper saved my life. Now you will save his or you will die!"

"Please!" pleaded another physician, "We all tried, but he is too badly hurt for us to heal. Perhaps you can send him under a white flag to the soul reapers. Maybe they can help him."

"Fine, set up a tent on the battlefield. Make certain they know what we intend!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji watched the battlefield carefully as a team of hollow moved to the middle of the field under a white flag. At the back of the procession, four hollow bore a stretcher, carrying a broken looking form that was heartbreakingly familiar to Renji.

"What did I do?" he pleaded softly to himself, "How could I let this happen? I was just so angry! I couldn't stand the fact that Aizen obviously wanted Byakuya to kill Rikichi. But Byakuya didn't put a scratch on this kid he doesn't even remember! He always warned me about my impatience…and now, it might just have killed him!"

"Renji Abarai," Captain Unohana called softly.

Renji moved to her side.

"The hollow have brought Captain Kuchiki onto the field for treatment. Hanatarou and I are ready to go, but we need guards. Seeing the reaction in the rest of the troops, I would like you, Ichigo, Rukia, and Rikichi to attend to our safety."

Renji nodded and the four quickly donned the uniform of the guard, their faces covered except for their eyes. The lifted their own white flag and made their way onto the battlefield, halting when they reached the healing tent. They stepped inside and found Captain Kuchiki and two hollow physicians. The physicians turned to Captain Unohana.

"The captain took a direct attack that has left him near death. We cannot heal him. Since he was once a soul reaper, we thought that, perhaps, you would have a better chance of it."

"I'll do my best," Unohana replied.

The hollows left the tent quickly. Unohana leaned over the unconscious captain, pulling away the torn and bloodstained uniform carefully. As she examined him, his eyes opened and he looked up at Unohana questioningly.

"Captain Kuchiki, you have been seriously injured. Please remain still."

"Hai," he gasped softly.

"The injuries here are only partly from the battle. Captain Kuchiki has been badly beaten."

"Those bastards," Renji hissed, "Can you help him?"

"I can heal him, but you do realize that once I do we are required to return him."

"What?" the four guards said as one.

"We can't just give him back to Aizen!" insisted Renji, "They are beating him. They're forcing him to fight for them. You saw Aizen grab him when he refused to hurt Rikichi!"

"Yes, but we are under a white flag. In addition to that, there is the matter of the pendant he wears. I have seen this before. If we try to help him escape, it will be considered a betrayal. The pendant will change color and it will kill him."

"Damn…so close. He's…right here…"

"Renji…" Byakuya moaned softly.

The vice captain moved to his side and sat down, removing the covering from his face.

"I'm here, Byakuya," he replied, taking Byakuya's hand and bringing it to his lips.

Ichigo stepped forward, kneeling next to Byakuya with Rukia at his side. Byakuya looked up at them without recognition. Rukia gasped softly.

"Brother…" she whispered, "Byakuya?"

"I…can't remember. I know Renji, but I can't…remember…you."

Frustrated tears came to his eyes. Rukia leaned forward.

"It's okay! We know they've hurt you. Renji told us that you don't remember. Don't worry…it will come back to you…I promise. I know you will remember. It will be all right."

Byakuya's eyes closed and Captain Unohana carefully addressed each injury. Rikichi stood at the door, watching the hollow outside.

"Byakuya," Renji said softly, "How are you feeling now?"

"Renji…Renji, Aizen…he's going to…you have let me go. I have to go back. The pendant will…"

"I know, but we're going to be right behind you. What can you tell me about the base?"

"You can see it from here. I used to look out the window and I could see the soul reaper base. It always made me feel…hopeful."

"How will they take you back?" Renji asked.

"They'll probably fly us on hollows. They do that with the wounded. It will take the main force two days to walk back. You need to fly."

"Don't worry," Renji assured him, "I've got a good friend with an eagle form."

"Renji…be…careful. Aizen is likely to go with me. He is afraid to leave me alone since I was attacked by rogue hollows yesterday."

"Hey, we're going to come for you. We won't let them keep you there. It will be okay."

Byakuya nodded slowly. Captain Unohana finished placing the last of the bandages. Rukia leaned over and kissed Byakuya on the cheek, then stepped back. Renji slowly lifted him and pulled him close, letting the captain's head rest on his shoulder. Rikichi wiped tears from his eyes and approached Byakuya.

"Captain, I know you don't remember me, but…it was…my fault you got captured. I tried to get you out, but they struck my eagle form and you fell. I want you to know that…I'm…so sorry, sir. I'm sorry."

Byakuya looked up at Rikichi sympathetically.

"It wasn't your fault," he said softly, "I was the commanding officer and I made the right decision. We just had unfortunate circumstances. Don't blame yourself."

"But I thought you didn't remember!" Rikichi said, surprised.

"Some things are coming back now. I remember when I was captured and how. I do not blame you, Rikichi. Do not blame yourself."

"I'll try not to, sir."

Captain Unohana turned back to them.

"It is time for us to go. We need to inform the head captain of Captain Kuchiki's status. We also need to get word out that he was forced to work with Aizen, so we can clear his name."

"Is he…going to be all right, now?" Renji asked worriedly.

"He will live. He just needs rest, now. We have to take our leave now. Captain Kuchiki, we will not let you remain in Aizen's hands."

Byakuya nodded. The hollow entered the tent, lifted Byakuya's stretcher and carried it back across the field. They lifted it onto the back of a huge hollow and Aizen climbed up next to him. Byakuya studied Aizen's face carefully as they flew.

"Sousuke, what happens now?" Byakuya asked softly, "You and I both know it is unsafe for me here."

Aizen nodded silently, staring into the distance. Finally, he spoke, still turned away.

"Byakuya, you understand that I…cannot let you go. Some things, when they are taken, can never be returned. Still, I don't want anyone to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. I don't…know what to do."

"Sousuke, I know I have a home and a family. I want to go home to them. I have to have hope that I'll see them again."

"You broke the hypnosis," Aizen said flatly, "You're remembering."

"How did you…?"

"I sensed the reiatsu shift…and the presence of Rukia and Renji."

"And you let me see them."

"You saved my life. I wanted to give you something. I didn't know it would actually make things worse."

"Please, Sousuke, I have done everything you asked…all I ask for is hope. I want to see them again," Byakuya pleaded softly.

"You don't understand, do you? It hasn't reached you, has it?" Aizen asked quietly, "Byakuya, I can't let you go because I need you here. You're different than these hollows…different than that snake, Gin. You are pure, strong, and beautiful. Having you here gives _me_ hope. Byakuya, it is like the name I gave you…Shin…You are my heart. I have to keep you here. I'll…protect you, I promise. I won't let anyone hurt you."

"Sousuke, don't you understand? I cannot live this way anymore."

"I could remove your memories again. Then it wouldn't hurt for you to be away from them. I could do that. But, Byakuya, I cannot let you go. I am…sorry."

"Then you have sentenced me to death. I cannot stay here. I will die if I stay here," Byakuya whispered bitterly.

"And I will die inside if you leave…So where does that leave us?"

XXXXXXXXXX

_We are close to the fortress now. I know they said they would come, but I fear what will happen when we arrive. Aizen's eyes keep falling on me. He will let me die rather than lose his heart if I leave. There is no chance of compromise and if they come, he will kill them. I don't want them to die for me. I do not deserve that kind of loyalty. _

_The hypnosis continues to fade and the faces of the past keep haunting me. I want to see them again. I have been away from them for far too long. My mind spins with need and I start to tremble. Aizen sees this and knows it for what it is. He moves close and tries to pull me to him. It is a comfort I accepted readily as he stole my life from me. Now I cannot bear it and if he doesn't see it in my eyes, he feels it in my body when I pull away. I feel the flash of anger and I know that if I defy him, there will be punishment, but I am too desperate for what I have lost._

_My body shakes harder and I cannot shake like this and still fight his touch. He puts an arm around my shoulder and whispers that everything will be all right. His hand touches his zanpakuto and even though it hasn't been released, I feel myself shatter…because I know he will use it again. I know he will take again what is only now re-forming in my battered mind. I hang on to my memories for dear life, but now the fear of losing them is intense. The fortress rises up before us. A tear runs down my face. They won't be here soon enough to stop him. I'll be broken, yet again._


	10. The Release Bought With Blood

**Chapter 10: The Release Bought with Blood**

_I watch as the great doors open and I feel my heart sink. To have survived so much only to return here to die, if not by my captor's hands, then by the hollow, or simply by being taken up the grand stairway and returned to that pure white room. I am about halfway across the room when Aizen's voice stops me. I turn back to face him, knowing, as he does, how this must end._

_He approaches me slowly, like a black-clad executioner about to let me know which form of death I will endure. As long as it is fast, and not… He is gazing into my eyes, his own telling me that he is as trapped in this as I am. He is wishing now that he had killed me long ago…before… He reaches me and his hands rise to my throat. He gently reaches around and releases the catch on the red pendant. Behind Aizen, Gin's eyes spark and his smile widens as it falls away. Now Aizen reaches for my wrists. I feel the metal bands begin to form and suddenly I know the manner of my undoing…and it is too much. I cannot bear even the thought of the emptiness of the white room…of sitting alone forever, staring out across the spinning sands, longing for a life, taken from me, not once, but twice._

_Some corner of my mind tells me that tears are wrong, that they should be held back, but there is no holding back the dread, the hopelessness, the leaving of the only light I knew. My legs give way and I hit the cold stone floor, not even feeling the pain in my knees. I place my palms on the floor to feel the stone's coolness. I lower myself down to rest my face there next. My body gives in and my heart breaks loose in silent wrenching cries. Gentle hands reach down, but they are not here for my comfort. They are only there to loosen and remove Senbonzakura. It is the last time I will see my zanpakuto and I cannot look._

"_Sosuke," I manage, choking on the name, "Please, not this way!"_

_But there is no other way for him now. I cannot be his shield or sword. I know it because I am his heart. And I have become too broken. What he feels will not allow him to claim my life now, so like his own heart, I am doomed to spend the remaining days of my life a captive, something hidden away in the darkness for its own protection, only to die of loneliness in that cold place inside. I will be given no mercy, no relief, and no remaining hope._

"_I am sorry," he says finally, not meeting my eyes, "This is all I can do for you. You will return to your own room…and I will not make any further advances. I will remove your memories to relieve your concerns, then I will leave you alone, Byakuya. But you will never leave this fortress again. I cannot guarantee your safety outside these walls, so you shall not leave them."_

_His hand comes to rest on his zanpakutou._

"_Take Byakuya to his room. I shall be there presently."_

_Hands take hold of me now and they are not his, because he cannot bear to touch or even look at me. He knows what he has done to both of us and the sobs that break forth from me are the ones he holds inside. It is no use to fight them, but I throw every bit of my strength into tearing at them, screaming my defiance, letting him know that I have no reason now to hold back. It is what I would have done, how hard I would have fought if I hadn't been bound so tightly when I first arrived. Their hands become rough, but at the sound of his voice, they become more cautious, merely seeking to control my movements. I strain against them until my strength ebbs, and finally I collapse at their feet. They simply reach down to pick me up and carry me. I fall still as the stairs approach, feeling the deadness begin to set in._

_There is a sound rising up outside the great doors…a deep rumbling that shakes the foundation of the fortress that holds me. It is as though the metal bands on my wrists have somehow failed and the power of my heart is breaking free. The doors suddenly burst into a shower of red and golden fire, causing my handlers to drop me as all eyes turn. There is a flash of red, a red as familiar to me as the red of my own blood. Fire blazes across the room and my handlers fall. Aizen and Gin face the invader alone now…and it is more than I can stand. As awful as my own fate is, I cannot watch him die. I cannot watch him fall, watch the redness drain away into the cold stone. I can't even save him, but he can save me even if it means we'll die together. I have no choice in what I am about to do._

_I shouldn't be able to move so quickly, but the metal bands at my wrists suddenly shatter under the force of my desperation and my flash step engages. I am across the room in a heartbeat and I suddenly feel the warm weight of my vice captain at my back. Luckily, he read my move before I made it, so Zabimaru arcs around me, firing a red blast at my captors. I see their faces clearly now, Gin's triumphant, but Aizen's, twisted into something that looks like fear. I don't understand. I was going to die anyway and he knew it._

_The killing force of two zanpakutous blaze through me and into the one behind me. I have only cushioned the blow, lessened the damage and it is worth the price to my body. His arm is wrapped protectively around my waist and he moves to break our fall as we drop to the floor together. I hear him call my name and I feel tears my pain-wracked body cannot cry. Aizen's face is ashen as he moves towards us, sheathing his zanpakutou. I can feel Renji moaning in pain against my back. Aizen moves closer and I hear myself pleading with him to stop. I don't want him to hurt the one who is only here to protect me. But Renji attacked him and I know what that means. Still Aizen stops and drops slowly to his knees beside me. As Gin watches in the distance, Aizen leans over me, telling me in a whisper that I must be still. He examines my wounds, then places a gentle hand on my face. His words make their way through the haze of pain that surrounds me._

"_You were right, Byakuya. There are some creatures who are not meant to be held in captivity, and you are one. So there will be no more between us. I will not hold you here any longer. You are free. Go."_

_He leans down and kisses my tear-stained cheek, then places Senbonzakura carefully beside me. He stands and moves to Gin's side, not looking back at me._

"_Come," he tells Gin as they start to leave._

"_Shall I give them the final blow?" Gin asks._

"_No, that will not be necessary," comes the soft reply._

_But I have seen the glint in Gin's eye and I know it comes anyway. I feel it arc over the room and head to where I lie with Renji's arm still wrapped around my waist. I grip the hand that is wrapped around Zabimaru and I watch Shinzou close in. There is a growing golden glow swooping over us now, something huge sweeping down. It blocks the sword that reaches for us. There is the sickening sound of metal biting into flesh and a youthful cry of pain that becomes a raging battle cry. There is a deafening screech and the sound of metal shattering. Aizen and Gin are running now. Fire explodes forward from that place in front of me and the two barely manage to escape. The room goes silent and the golden light fades. I hear the heavy thud that can only be a body falling._

_I turn my head so I can meet Renji's eyes, but they are closed. I can't tell if he's breathing, because the tears are in my eyes again. I didn't want this. I was going to die anyway…and now two more went before me in futility. I know they swore to protect me…and they have not failed in that duty. They have done what Renji said it was their job to do…one I wish he had abandoned sooner, because even though I knew it was his duty, I couldn't bear to be the reason he was lost…not after all I took from him. And it wasn't enough to simply return what I took, because as Aizen said to me, some things cannot be returned once taken. I cannot bear the pain, but neither can I move. I am frozen on the fortress floor in the arms of one who shouldn't even be there. But he did save me from that pure white room at the top of those stairs, from the second loss of memory that would have followed, from the slow death inside…and I kiss his pale lips and tell him softly that I am in his debt. Now I'm drowning in redness, but I feel Zabimaru, his hand, his warmth at my back, Senbonzakura beside me. I close my eyes and sink down into the darkness. Footsteps approach, but it no longer matters whether they are friend or foe. We are making our escape. We are going home. The one final gift in all of this is that as Aizen's footsteps fade in the distance, the past that was lost to me continues its painfully slow return. I…remember…_

"_How about a game of tag, Little Byakuya?"_

"_We should not shed tears. That is the surrender of the body to the heart. It is only proof that emotions are nothing but a burden."_

"_The past five years have been like a wonderful, beautiful dream, Byakuya."_

"_Rukia, her name is Rukia."_

"_I'm Renji Abarai, sir, your new vice captain._

"_Brother, please…don't!"_

"_It's been a long time…Byakuya!"_

"_Where are you going, Renji?"_

"_Congratulations, that time your fang definitely reached me."_

"_You're her brother, aren't you? So the question that needs to be asked is why the hell aren't you trying to save her?"_

"_Ichigo Kurosaki, I thank you. Rukia…I'm sorry."_

"_You're going to die as part of our great plan!"_

"_Stop talking nonsense!"_

"_Ban Kai, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."_

"_So, we meet here again, Renji!"_

_XXXXXXXXXX_

Byakuya felt a harsh wrenching pain send the message to his anguished body that he wasn't dead yet. He had no awareness of whether he remained in the fortress, or if he had been taken elsewhere. In a dim corner of his mind, he vaguely remembered being lifted and moved, that simple action dragging a deep cry of agony from his semiconscious form. So he must have been removed, but by whom and to what place? He felt the coppery taste of blood in his mouth mingled with the bitterness of medicine…so that meant that he was among allies? He tried to move experimentally and was shocked at the sound that rose out of him as he did so. Gentle hands pushed him down and a familiar voice sounded in his ears, although he wasn't sure where he had heard that voice before.

"Hanatarou…?"

The name seemed to rise out of the darkness.

"Try to stay still, Captain Kuchiki. You'll reopen your wounds," Hanatarou said softly, "You were very seriously injured."

"R-Renji?" Byakuya moaned.

"It's going to be okay now. Sousuke Aizen fled. You're safe. Try to rest."

A cool cloth brushed over his face. He tried to ask for Renji again, but was unable to speak. A heavy weight sank down on him, sending him spiraling through the darkness again. As his mind spun, he could feel the soft touches of healing on his body and quiet voices breaking into his reverie.

"I can't believe they took Aizen on alone like that…I mean, they…did the impossible. It's almost worth the price but, kami!"

"I know I couldn't have done that…I couldn't, not even to save the captain's life."

"But that's why the captain entrusted them with so much…That's why they were chosen. It takes a special kind of person."

A bolt of icy coldness shot through Byakuya.

_Renji! And who else? Who else had died for him?_

He forced his aching limbs into motion, tearing away the blankets and dragging himself to his feet, swaying dangerously. In the haze around him, he heard shocked gasps of surprise and felt hands taking hold of him.

"Captain Kuchiki…don't! You're not well enough yet! Please, Captain!"

"No…let me go!"

He tore away from the hands and lost his balance. He fell to his knees. He sensed others arriving…more hands reaching for him. He began to fight them in earnest now, the reiatsu flaring painfully through his fireshot veins. The taste and smell of blood filled his senses again.

"Hold him! Be careful, he's bleeding again!"

"Let go!" Byakuya cried roughly, "Don't…don't…Renji…where?"

"Easy, Captain…It's going to be okay. Just try to stay calm. You've been badly injured and we're trying to help you."

He was being restrained and lifted again. His body convulsed in pain at the unforgiving motion and he couldn't fathom the strained cry that broke loose from him. He tore at the offending hands, frustrated tears rising in his eyes. They had his hands now. He felt soft restraints wrap around his wrists and ankles. But he wasn't in the fortress anymore…was he? Had he escaped? He couldn't remember.

"Please let me go…" he moaned deliriously, "I want…I have to…You can't keep me here like this!"

"I'm…I'm s-sorry sir," Hanatoro said in a trembling voice, "I wish we…didn't have to…but..but you're going to hurt yourself even more."

"Just…let me die," he heard himself beg softly, "Kami, just let me die…I don't want this."

He felt hands lift his head and something was brought to his lips. It was cool and sweet and sent him falling softly back into the hazy darkness. If he could just stay there. If only he didn't have to surface. He would never have to know the awful reality, to feel the emptiness that had opened up inside of him.

"_Do you want to know the difference between you and me? It's class. It's like the story of the monkey trying to capture the moon. The monkey tries and keeps sinking into the water again and again. And still he keeps trying…"_

The coldness of his own words stung him now.

"_Do not move or I promise you this blade will carve you to pieces."_

But it wasn't anger that drove him to say those words…it was fear. Even then, even under the weight of the young man's fury…his hatred, he hadn't wanted to hurt Renji. He hadn't wanted to kill him. His actions had been dictated by his promise to uphold the law. And even as he shattered Renji to defend what he thought he must, something inside him had shattered too. Renji already had his heart…even then. But now Renji was dead and he felt as though he had killed his lover with his own hands.

"_In defense of his captain, a vice captain must be willing to yield up his life."_

"Renji," he moaned softly.

He fell into a deep sleep then, his mind drifting aimlessly. When he woke again, he sensed that he was in familiar surroundings. Without even opening his eyes, he could feel the bright white walls of the healing center. He groaned inwardly. It was the first place he really remembered being…before, but if there was one place he didn't want to be… He felt a warm weight on his chest and heard a soft sigh. The weight lifted and he could feel violet eyes watching him. He knew he should know her face. She had been in his dreams, the dreams that had always disappeared…until now. He tried to move, but found himself unable. A low moan broke from his lips. It was her name…and it felt like sunshine on his face when he said it.

"Rukia."

"Shh," she said soothingly, "You're okay now, Byakuya. Just try to rest."

"Renji…" he moaned softly, drifting back towards sleep, "Rukia…where is…Renji?"

He was falling away again…so quickly that her answer could not reach him. The darkness took hold of him again. Memories rose up so vivid in his mind, so sharp with color and life that he could almost pretend he was back there in that time again.

"_Abarai! How many times must I speak to you about impatience? It is everywhere with you. It is in your words, the way you move, the way you speak…and it is in this chicken scratch that you call writing!"_

"_Sorry, Captain Kuchiki, I'll just…clean those up."_

"_They are to be on my desk before you leave!"_

The tears were burning in his eyes now.

"_Abarai, you are late again. Have you no sense of time?"_

"_Sorry, Captain Kuchiki, I'll be on time tomorrow…I promise."_

Why was he always apologizing? The red hair, the fiery temper…why didn't he ever seem to direct that at him? He certainly deserved it, pushing at Renji the way he did. There was only one time he had ever done such a thing.

"_I assume that…you're refusing to let me pass."_

"_Don't make me repeat myself. I will not allow you to try to save Rukia."_

"_Then I'll kill you and step over your corpse!"_

He found himself wishing that Renji could have made good on that threat.

"_Renji, why are you here?"_

"_I'm here because…you're my captain."_

"_You're probably wishing I was dead. That's probably what you're thinking."_

"No…If you were to die, then what motivation would I have for getting stronger? And in fact…Captain…"

He wondered now…if Renji could have finished, what he would have said. The unfinished thought hung in his mind, taunting him because now there was no way to ever know.

"_Renji, you've spent years chasing me, trying to surpass me. What were those efforts for, if not to reach excellence? Is it enough to know you can reach out and touch the moon if you never intend to attempt it?"_

"_I ask again, Byakuya…Why do you care?"_

"_Why do I care?Do you really need to ask that? I would think that the reasons would be obvious to you, Renji. Even if you didn't have my heart, you have served me faithfully for years, watching my back and following my commands, even when you hated me. Somewhere along the line, you stopped hating me, and the reasons for your behavior changed. Your reasons are no longer clear to me. What is it you intend to gain by holding yourself back and refusing to remove yourself from my shadow?"_

"_Why don't you want me at your side, Byakuya?"_

The thought that Renji believed such a thing for even a moment was unbearably painful now. The tears broke free and his body shook painfully. He felt Rukia's warm hands on his face. Her voice was soft and soothing, but the words made no sense to him. He felt her pull away and moaned softly, trying to reach out for her, stopped by the soft restraints. Her hand touched him and she said something he couldn't understand…but the intent was clear. She would return. He tried to sleep, but the torment was too much. He could feel Renji's reiatsu approaching. It reached out to him and wrapped around him, tearing an agonized sob from deep within him. He was sure now that he was losing his mind…because even now, he felt warm, calloused hands touching him, releasing the restraints, and heard Renji's voice.

"What the hell were they thinking…after what you've been through…"

The hands touched his face. Warm lips moved lightly against his.

"Byakuya, I'm here now."

The voice sounded so real, so close. Could it be that…?

"Byakuya, can you hear me?"

He struggled against the darkness, pushing his mind upward, latching onto that comforting voice, that familiar touch. If Renji was dead, then Byakuya wished nothing more than to join him…but if he was alive… He forced his eyes open and blinked, trying to clear them. The form that leaned over him was hazy and distorted to his eyes, but there was no mistaking it.

"Renji," he managed in a whisper.

"Hai, Byakuya," came the soft reply, "I'm right here."

"Renji…I heard them say…and I thought that you were…gone."

"I'm sorry," he said, his eyes holding sympathy and some guilt, "I didn't know you thought that. I should have made sure you knew…but you were really out of it for awhile."

"Renji, if you ever frighten me like that again, I swear I will kill you with my bare hands!"

"Sorry, Byakuya, I would have come sooner, but I was unconscious for a while and then…"

"But…if it wasn't you I heard them talking about…then who?"

"It was Rikichi…stupid kid! I told him to stay back. But he saw us get hit and go down and…"

"Rikichi," Byakuya repeated, a youthful face slowly coming into focus in his mind, "Renji, is he…"

"No…they think he'll live, but that's where I went as soon as I woke. They said you were going to live, but they didn't think he would. I had a talk with him, though. I told him he needed to get his sorry ass back here. I mean, if he plans to replace me as your vice captain…"

Byakuya swallowed hard against the tears that threatened at those words.

"So…you intend to accept my recommendation?"

"I know you heard what I said to him that night. I told him I wouldn't leave your side until I knew you would have someone to watch your back the way I did. The kid's amazing, Byakuya!"

"What happened? What did he do?"

"He saved both of us. He ran forward as Aizen and Gin stabbed us. He used his Ban Kai and stopped Gin from giving us the final blow. Gin drove that damned zanpakuto through him. He should have died right then. But this light came out of his zanpakuto. It looked like some kind of huge version of his fire eagle. It broke Shinzou, then went straight for them and scared the hell out of them…sent them running. And then the rescue force came in. All this time…we all wanted to find you, to save you, and who does it? Some snot-nosed kid who still can't manage to control hell butterflies!"

"You trained that snot-nosed kid, Renji," Byakuya said softly, "That kind of courage, that presence of mind…it reminds me of another kid…a street-rat from the Rukon District. He couldn't write legibly, was never on time, and was impossibly impatient…but he stood up to his captain and had the strength to fight him when he knew the captain was wrong. And now that street-rat is going to be a captain, himself."

"Byakuya…"

"Renji, there is one last bit of knowledge I need to pass on to you before you take that step. You told Rikichi that in defense of his captain, he must be ready to yield up his life. Well, that may be true, but…it is the duty of a captain to watch over his division, to protect those lives that may have to be given up for him. He must grow to know each of them, to bring out their strength and pull them together to work as one. Each time someone dies, it is a weight on the captain's heart…because none of us want to lose even one of those we lead. It is an impossible task…to want to keep them all safe, but captains tend to be perfectionists, even when it comes to themselves. So as a captain, you must honor the loyalty and protect the lives of your subordinates…and sometimes that means putting your own life at risk…or dying. I didn't know this when I became a captain…I learned it…from a snot-nosed street-rat from the Rukon District."

"Byakuya…I…"

"Renji, you sought for all of this time to surpass me, and I think that when you consider how much I've learned from you, I can no longer be considered your superior," Byakuya said firmly, "I never want to hear you speak to me as though you are anything less than my equal...not ever again."

Renji was quiet for a moment.

"Arigatou, Byakuya," he replied softly.

Renji studied Byakuya's still pale features.

"So…how are you doing now?" he asked softly.

Byakuya closed his eyes for a moment.

"It's hard to believe I'm here. I'm even a little afraid to believe it. You must realize, Sousuke Aizen could create something this real and entrap my mind…and I might not know…"

"You don't need to worry about that. This is real, Byakuya. You are back home," he said, squeezing his hand.

"I wouldn't be here if you hadn't come for me. When you arrived, Sousuke Aizen was sealing away my spirit energy. He took Senbonzakura. He was going to take everything away again," Byakuya said, tears forming in his eyes again, "I fought with all I had left, but it wasn't enough. They were taking me to that room. He…"

"Hey, it's okay now. You're home…and you're remembering things. Everything will be okay now, but kami, Byakuya, why'd you throw yourself in front of me like that? You almost died. Those zanpakutou went right through you! Did you forget just who was supposed to save who?"

"Renji…I couldn't just stand there and watch them kill you. I…don't want you to be hurt or killed because of me."

"That's really it…isn't it, Byakuya? That's why you've been pushing so hard for me to promote."

Byakuya released a long sigh.

"Honestly…yes…although I didn't really understand it myself before. Renji, in all of the time we've known each other, it seems all I've done is to take things from you. I took Rukia, but that was only the beginning. Because I also beat down your pride with my callousness…I took away your ability to protect Rukia from being executed. Then, when I was brought down by my own mistakes, I took comfort. Even in this…I made a mistake. Maybe if I had recalled you, I wouldn't have ended up in Aizen's hands at all. I put you in a position I never wanted to. I put you in a position where you could have died defending me."

"Byakuya…" Renji said, looking concerned, "It wasn't your fault that Aizen took you. You didn't ask to be abducted, to have your mind ripped apart like that. And anyway, I was doing my job."

"Renji…that was another mistake I made. I assumed that you promoting was a way to keep you from dying in my defense. But I was wrong about that. You didn't come after me because it was your job."

"No…I…guess it really wasn't that. I love you…simple as that. And that means that if you are in danger, nothing will stop me from trying to protect you."

"And I couldn't change that now, either by you promoting or by trying to escape what we have between us."

"Yeah…you're pretty much stuck with the fact that I will always be there to defend you."

"You don't think, after what I did to you…pushing you away, not recalling you when I should have…" he stopped, the tears threatening again.

Renji brushed the tears away.

"Don't do that, Byakuya. I…never blamed you for any of that. You need to stop doing this to yourself. Let it go. I'm glad you helped me prepare to become a captain and pushed me to take that step, even though I know that you don't want me to leave the squad."

"No, I don't…but I think it's time," Byakuya admitted softly.

"Yeah, I know. But we'll still see each other a lot. I mean, we are life partners…and that means I'm going to be there for you while you settle back into normal life."

"Renji, I'll be all right…but I am glad you will be there. My memories are returning, but there is still much that hasn't come back. To be honest, I can't even picture what home looks like. I know some names and faces, but…"

"Well, it won't be long before you'll have everything back. We'll make sure of that."

Byakuya nodded, his eyes suddenly feeling heavy.

"You look like you need some more sleep, Byakuya."

"Renji," Byakuya said sleepily.

"Hai, Byakuya."

"Will you stay a bit longer…please?"

Renji's eyes glistened and he turned back, sitting down next to Byakuya again.

"Sure thing, Bya."

"Renji…"

"Hai."

"Don't call me that."

"Sorry…Byakuya."

Byakuya turned carefully, so that he was resting on his stomach, his head rested on his arms, and closed his eyes. Leaning forward, Renji brought his head to rest on Byakuya's back and closed his eyes as well.


	11. What Was Lost

**Chapter 11: What was Lost**

Renji opened the door to the manor, holding Byakuya's hand as he stepped into the entryway. The noble's eyes moved searchingly over the walls, the decorations, the furniture, and Renji could feel that he was struggling to remember being there. He tightened his hand on Byakuya's. They moved past the entry and turned down the hallway, and Byakuya studied the softly creaking floor, the garden filled with flowers, cherry trees with blossoms falling, and the large koi pond. He felt an ache inside when he realized that it seemed foreign to him. He knew it should feel like home, but…

He realized that he had stopped in the hallway and that he was staring like someone lost, which in fact, he was. He closed his eyes against the feeling of failure and the tears that threatened. What if it didn't come back? What if…

"Byakuya," Renji said gently, "It's…okay. Captain Unohana told you that it would take time for you to regain your memories. You know that everything will come back. You said that things were already coming back."

"Renji…" he said, his dark eyes achingly desperate, "This is my home. This is at the heart of what was taken from me. I kept longing for it to return…but I'm here…and it feels like I'm in a strange place. It doesn't feel like home."

"It takes more than things to build a home, Byakuya," a familiar voice said from somewhere behind him.

He turned to see Rukia, Yoruichi, Takeshi and Chisaki standing a short distance away. And looking at them standing there, he realized why it took more. Because once he saw them there, the events, the faces, the surroundings began to knit themselves together in his tired, longing mind. He felt an intense emotion beginning to build, but then panic rose up and he backed away, moving until he felt a wall at his back. They were moving towards him, saying something, but his mind was too overwhelmed to process it. It was too much. His head was spinning with memories now. The air went dark and cold. He slid down the wall, locking his arms around his midsection. There were familiar hands touching him and familiar voices calling. He was breaking inside. What if it wasn't real? What if it was taken away?

Strong arms wrapped around him. He remembered the great wooden doors, the cold black stone floor, the stairway that led to a pure white room. Heavy sobs broke from him. Where was he? Were they taking him back? Were they going to take it all away again? Because he couldn't bear to lose this, this warmth that was moving through him, this wrapping around of familiarity, of happiness, of love. Someone was holding him…but who? Who was holding him and speaking in his ear? He knew the voice, but the name was disappearing into the haze of memories. He became afraid that it might be Sousuke Aizen and he began to fight those arms. He didn't want to be filled with the golden light of that zanpakuto, the one that held him so gently as it ripped his life away from him. He didn't want to feel Aizen's arms to wrap around him, to soothe him as he lost his connection with everything meaningful to him. It was growing hard to breathe. He was gasping with sobs now. There were hands on his face and a voice broke through the darkness.

"It's okay…shh, you'll be okay, I promise. I'll help you, Byakuya."

"Renji…"

"Yeah…it's me. I'm here," Renji assured him.

"What…happened?"

"It's okay. You just had a dizzy spell or something. You left us for a minute there. You okay now?"

He realized suddenly that he had collapsed and was leaning heavily against Renji, his face buried in Renji's shoulder. Then he was being lifted and carried into a room he didn't remember and he was set down in a soft, comfortable bed. A blanket settled over him. Renji's hand touched his again reassuringly.

"You rest now. I promise you I'll stay. I'll be here when you wake."

Byakuya felt coldness slice through him again.

_Sleep now. I'll be there when you wake._

"No," he moaned, trying to rise, "You can't keep me here! I want to go home! You have to let me go!"

"Byakuya…it's okay, you're at home now. Rest…it's okay…rest. I won't let anyone take you away again."

Byakuya's eyes closed.

"Renji," said Yoruichi from the doorway, "Rukia has gone to find Captain Unohana. The children and I are going to wait out in the garden. He…seems to handle things better when you're with him."

Renji looked back over his shoulder.

"It isn't his fault," he assured Yoruichi, "and it isn't that he doesn't…"

"I know," Yoruichi said, gazing sadly at Byakuya.

"I don't know why," Renji explained, "but his memories of me are stronger than those of anyone else. That's probably why he is different with me."

"That actually makes a great deal of sense," came a soft voice from the doorway.

"Captain Unohana," said Yoruichi, relief in her voice, "Thank you so much for coming so quickly."

"I'll do my best to help," she assured them, moving to Byakuya's side.

"Byakuya," she said, placing a hand on his arm, "Do you remember me?"

The dark eyes opened and Byakuya nodded.

"You healed me on the battlefield. You said you would come for me. Are you here to take me home?"

She squeezed his arm gently.

"We have brought you home, Byakuya. You are home, now. You need to rest. Drink this, it will help you to fall asleep."

He took the small cup from her hand and drank from it, then laid back, his eyes still searching her face. A few moments later, his eyes blinked slowly, then closed. Captain Unohana returned to the doorway, motioning for the others to follow her. Renji hesitated, gazing back at the sleeping captain.

"It's all right to leave him alone while we talk," she assured them, "The medication will make him sleep for several hours."

"Resting is good," Renji said, frustration plain in his voice, "but I don't understand what's going on. I mean, he seemed lucid in the healing center. We were having relatively normal conversations. His memory obviously wasn't all there…but he knew where he was and that he was safe. Just now, before you came…it seemed like he thought he was back there…in Hueco Mundo! Coming home should have made things better, not worse!"

"Actually, I would have been surprised if something of this nature hadn't happened."

"What do you mean?" Renji asked in alarm, "You mean to tell me that him thinking he's still there, being incoherent…that's…?"

"It is part of the healing process. Come to the garden. I will explain."

Renji followed Captain Unohana out the door and into the garden. He took a seat beside Yoruichi. Rukia, Takeshi and Chisaki were seated already in chairs across from him.

Yoruichi rose and motioned for the children to follow and led them away.

"My first concern," said Captain Unohana, "is for the children. Byakuya is suffering from the stress of his ordeal. He is not himself, and that could be frightening for them."

"Yoruichi will take them to stay with her," Renji said softly, "You're right…they shouldn't be here."

"You need to prepare yourselves," Captain Unohana began, "because Byakuya's recovery is not something that will happen overnight…or even quickly. He was held captive for nearly two months. When I examined him on the battlefield, it was clear that he had been severely beaten shortly before the battle. The bruising I saw also suggested that whoever inflicted that beating had the intention of doing far worse, but they were stopped somehow. When one is held captive as he was…and the intention is to keep him there permanently, the beatings are usually a way to dominate the mind through pain and fear. When you add the fact that his memories were taken, it becomes clear how much he had to endure before his will was dominated and he was rendered passive."

"He was so strong…" breathed Rukia, "what it must have taken…what they must have had to do to him to…"

"You said that Aizen allowing the return of some of his memories of me made some kind of sense," Renji said, "How does that figure in?"

"Our memories, our connections to people and events feed our overall strength and our passion for life. Having lost those things and as beaten as he was, he would have lost the reasons he had for fighting so hard to survive. Such a thing would cause a slow deterioration of mind and body. It is possible, in this way, to die of a broken heart. I believe that, at some point, Sousuke Aizen realized this and needed to bolster Byakuya's strength. It is obvious that he wanted Byakuya to live…and his use of Byakuya as a threat against us on the battlefield was a way to ensure that there would be no rescue mission. Luckily, that perception was lost when he refused to kill Rikichi. In any case, he didn't want Byakuya to remember that he had a family. He had to allow the return of some amount of Byakuya's memory, but not enough to cause him to attempt escape. He chose to allow the return of limited memories of Renji, believing that it would make Byakuya stronger, but not willful enough to attempt to escape. That plan fell apart when Byakuya finally broke the hypnosis and his other memories began to reappear in earnest. In the end, Sousuke Aizen would have been left with few choices. Not wanting to release him, he would have had to kill Byakuya or use Kyouka Suigetsu to remove his memories a second time. If he had attempted the latter, it might have caused a permanent collapse of the captain's mind. The mind, like the body, can only endure so much before it is too broken to survive."

"What can we do to help him now? Does he need to go back to the healing center?" asked Rukia.

"Actually, no," Unohana said softly, "He needs consistency in his surroundings. It was enough of a shock for him to return here, but it was necessary for his recovery."

"But it only made things worse!" insisted Renji, "He totally lost it when he got here."

"That is to be expected," explained Unohana, "You have to realize, the combination of your faces when joined with this place caused him to be inundated with so much of his memory that he couldn't process it all at once. That is why it is no surprise that he collapsed. This is not something that could have been avoided by keeping him hospitalized longer. That actually might have only worsened things. The good news is that now that this happened, he will begin to work through the memories and he will improve."

"But he doesn't even seem to believe he's home!" Renji objected.

"He will realize this," Unohana assured him, "but it will take time. I would suggest that you keep him where he is for the next few days. Let him reacquaint himself with that one room. Always have someone with him, but have no more than two at a time. Start with just you and Rukia because he remembers you with good consistency and then slowly reintroduce others."

"That makes sense," admitted Renji.

Unohana sighed.

"I need to warn you that things will likely get worse before they improve. At some point, Byakuya's mind will have to address what was done to him during his captivity. When that happens, he may become deeply distressed. I am leaving a sedative. If he reaches a point where you feel he needs it, it will be there for you to use. I would caution against using it too frequently. Overuse will keep him from dealing with what has happened to him. He needs to go through this process."

"Captain," Renji said softly, "I want you to be honest with me…What are the chances that he will get through this and go back to normal?"

Unohana's eyes were troubled.

"I wish I could answer that, Renji," she said softly, "but that will depend on several factors…the amount of strength in him now, his desire to get well, and the support he is given. I believe that he will get well. Renji, you must make yourself believe this as well if you are going to help him."

"I do," Renji replied, his gaze traveling to Byakuya's room, "I'm just afraid for him. I know what I saw. I've never seen him like that before. I didn't think anything could make him break down like he just did."

"We all have our limits, Renji," Unohana replied sadly, "And Byakuya may have been pushed to near the limits of his."

_The room around me is pitch-black and I shiver with cold. I never know how long he will leave me here before he returns to torment me. But this blackness! The silence! I almost wish the beatings would continue so my mind wouldn't wander to what could be here in the darkness with me. Sometimes I feel touches on my body and I cannot tell if they are real or conjured by a mind fevered with the darkness, the solitude. I cannot even hear the sound of my own voice…But when he comes, I hear his footsteps. He walks with distinctive purpose, so I will know it is him. He wants me to hear him coming, to cower in fear. I breathe deep and slow to try to slow my heart, but my body has heard him coming too. It trembles with memory…and fear._

_The door to my cell opens and light blazes in. While it blinds me, he takes hold of me and drags me out, his nails digging into the naked flesh of my arms. If I struggle, if I move too slowly, or sometimes for no reason at all, an angry elbow or knee is driven into my stomach and I drop to the floor, unable to breathe. As I gasp for air, the beating starts, forcing choked cries from me before we even reach that room…the one with his items of torment, the tools he uses to draw my cries, my screams. _

_Today, he starts the beating before I am even fully removed from my cell. I fall, choking and gasping, onto the hard stone floor. He stands over me, striking my bare back with a heavy whip and taunting me, trying to get me to fight back. I used to try…but I have been here too long. I know the price of such behavior. I cringe at my own weakness. He grabs my matted hair and pulls my head back painfully._

"_Don't want to play today, Byakuya? How boring!"_

_He drops my head. There is a heavy kick to my ribs and I feel them crack. Once it would have taken much more to do this, but they have been broken and poorly healed too many times. I feel him watching me, then he bends and strokes the welts he just added to my back. It stings, but it distracts me from the pain in my ribs. I catch my breath._

"_Do you like this, Byakuya? Do you enjoy the stinging on your skin? Your skin is so pale. The change of color is a good thing. Now come along, I don't have all day."_

_I am dragged to my feet and shoved down the hallway and into another small dark room. My heart pounds. I know what waits for me in that room. He must have seen the tremor that passed through me, because he laughs._

"_What to do today, hmm?"_

_I am shoved down onto a raised platform. Around me, a kido field rises, freezing me on my knees. _

"_Gin," Aizen's voice is, as always, soft, but reproving, "You didn't fully heal him last night. I told you. There is to be no permanent damage to him. This is punishment, not brutal torture."_

"_Oh sorry, Sosuke," Gin answers flippantly, "He was particularly defiant yesterday. He wouldn't hold still for healing, you know, he was shaking too hard…after."_

"_You will heal him fully tonight."_

"_Of course I will," Gin promised._

_I already know it is a lie. I feel Gin approach. I feel Shinzou nearby and I know what he has chosen. He knows I cannot hold my silence against it. That is why he uses it with such frequency. My body shakes uncontrollably now in anticipation and I hear Gin chuckle softly._

"_Let's try this once again, Byakuya," Aizen says quietly, "I will ask you the same set of questions I have asked every day since we returned from the living world…and I want you to give me your answers. If they please me, the pain will stop. If not, we'll put you back in your cell and we'll do this again and again until I hear the answers I want. First, why are you being punished?"_

_His eyes hold mine. I withhold my answer until he takes a breath to speak. It is as far as I dare to push him. I have pushed him too far before…The silent black cell is bringing me to the brink of insanity. I can't go back. It is only one answer. But I hate myself for yielding it._

"_I am being punished for trying to escape…for speaking to the soul reaper."_

_The punishment is worse if I dare to speak his name in Aizen's presence. _

"_And how can you avoid punishment in the future?"_

_Again I wait for the very last moment. It is all of the resistance I can manage. He knows what I am doing and he will only allow so much…_

"_I…won't try to leave. I will do as you ask."_

"_And what is the first thing I asked you to do?"_

_We have never gotten this far and it hurts to give up the words…but I can't take the darkness, the cold, the silence, the strange sensations on my skin…_

"_Byakuya…"_

_It is the only warning I will be given._

"_You asked me to respond to you properly."_

_The self-loathing I feel is almost worse than the beatings…or the dark cell…_

"_So how to you respond when I give you an order?"_

_There are tears in my eyes now…because I promised myself the first time they did this, that I would never answer this question. And I won't._

"_Byakuya…"_

_I won't say it._

"_Gin…"_

_I hate myself for my weakness, my inability to stop the shaking, my inability to hold back my cries as he begins. The zanpakutou breaks my skin and he grabs my hair, pulls my head back, forcing me to meet those eyes again. _

"_Hai, Lord Aizen…" I moan before I can stop myself._

_My stomach clenches. I don't know how the words escaped me. I didn't want to say them. I didn't choose this…_

_Footsteps approach. A hand brushes my tears away. It strokes my hair for a moment._

"_Not many more days, I think," an unaffected voice says softly, "His manners are definitely improving. Continue."_

_He walks away._

_My chest heaves with anticipation and Gin laughs again. Time disappears into a haze of cuts and strikes, blazes of kido, and Gin's wicked laughter. My cries give way to screams of pain. Aizen asks each question again, and each time Gin inflicts pain even before I can answer. Soon I cannot answer. Soon I cannot even speak. It is almost a gift to reach a state of senselessness, if only so I am not aware of being returned to the blackness of my cell._

A pained scream brought Renji awake and he noticed, to his dismay, that Byakuya was no longer in the bed next to the chair Renji sat in. Instead, he knelt in the middle of the darkened bedroom floor, his arms held stiffly at his sides. It almost looked as though he was restrained. Renji jumped out of the chair and dashed to his side. Byakuya's chest heaved and tears ran down his ashen face. He released another scream and Renji heard running feet in the hallway outside the room.

"Byakuya," he called softly, "What's happening?"

He screamed again and fell forward, placing his palms on the floor. Again, he seemed to pause and his chest heaved. Rukia's face appeared in the doorway, but Renji ignored her. He moved forward slowly and placed a hand on Byakuya's arm. The captain screamed again and this time his reiatsu flared, throwing Renji backward and leaving him gasping.

"Stay back!" he told Rukia, "He's lost control of his spirit energy. He could attack!"

Renji shielded himself with a flow of blue energy and moved forward cautiously, watching Byakuya carefully. Even so, he was nearly leveled when Byakuya's spirit energy flared wildly again and glass shattered all around them. The captain sank to the floor, gasping for breath, tears running down his face. The words he said next left Renji breathless with horror.

"Stop…make him stop…"

He paused, then screamed again. There was another long pause.

"I was punished for trying to leave…for talking to the soul reaper."

Another long pause as he gasped for breath.

"I won't try to leave…I'll do as you ask…"

Another pause.

"You…asked me to respond to you properly."

He paused again and tears coursed down his face. He looked as white as a ghost and he choked on his next words.

"Hai…Lord Aizen…"

His chest heaved, but he went silent and seemed more calm. He flinched as though avoiding someone's touch. Then he sighed softly and relaxed visibly.

Renji edged forward and placed a tentative hand on Byakuya's shoulder. His head turned, but the eyes that met Renji's were empty and shadowed. Byakuya moved forward, sinking into Renji's embrace. He rested his head on Renji's shoulder.

"Arigatou, Lord Aizen…Arigatou," Byakuya moaned softly.

Renji burned with fury.

"Don't thank him! Don't you dare thank that bastard!" he said, stroking Byakuya's hair.

Byakuya seemed to drift towards sleep.

"Must I return to the dark room?" he asked softly.

He paused.

"You said it would be a few more days…"

Byakuya's eyes closed and his body went slack in Renji's arms. Rukia slipped quietly into the room and sat down beside them.

"You shouldn't be in here," Renji warned her, "His spirit energy flared. He could lose control of it again if he has another nightmare."

"Renji," Rukia said quietly, "That was no nightmare. Byakuya was awake. That was a hallucination…a memory."

"Damn!" snapped Renji, "While he was gone, I worried that he was going through hell…but I never…I didn't even imagine it was like that! I don't want to know how many days and nights were like that!"

"We can't leave him like this, Renji. The spirit energy flares are dangerous to all of us. I think we may have to…"

"Kami, no! You know what that would do to him! Rukia, when Rikichi and I busted in to get him, Aizen was sealing away his spirit energy. He took Senbonzakura from him. He won't understand this!"

"You know it's not safe to leave him this way. We don't know how long he'll be like this…or how much worse it will get. You know I'm right."

Renji leaned his head against Byakuya's and closed his eyes.

"All right," he said, sighing, "but let's do it now while he's asleep. That way it won't turn into a battle."

"At least not until he wakes and realizes what we've done," Rukia said softly.

"Go," said Renji softly, "I'll do this."

Rukia backed slowly out of the room. With regret in his eyes, Renji took Byakuya's wrists and focused his spirit energy into them. Slowly, bands began to form, sealing away his spirit energy. Renji's heart nearly broke when Byakuya's eyes opened and the dark eyes filled with the shock of betrayal as he realized what Renji had done. He pulled away from Renji, his eyes wide and his face pale. Renji wished briefly that Byakuya might still be incoherent, that he might not know, but his coherence was fully revealed when he looked his life partner full in the eyes and gasped sharply in dismay, tears forming and streaming down his face.

"Renji," he whispered, "I trusted you…"

Renji fled the room, bursting into the hallway running blindly into Rukia. They fell to the ground and sat staring at each other. Rukia saw the tears in Renji's eyes and pulled him close.

"I know we had…to seal away his spirit energy. We had to, I know! But he woke up as I did it. Rukia, you should have seen the way he looked at me. He hates me now…and he should. I'm supposed to watch his back, not stab him in the back!"


	12. Breaking Free

**Chapter 12: Breaking Free**

Byakuya sat silently on the bed, his back against the wall, knees drawn up tightly, his face buried in his arms. Despite repeated attempts, no one seemed able to get any kind of coherent response since the sealing away of his spiritual pressure. But there was one who hadn't tried, one who had fled the Kuchiki manor and now sat inside the locked Squad Six office, seated against the wall, in much the same position as his captain. He hadn't wanted anyone to see him go to pieces, but after seeing that look in Byakuya's eyes… It didn't matter that he had only done what was necessary, or that if he was really all there that Byakuya would have understood, even agreed. Those things didn't make a damn bit of difference to Renji.

"Shit!" he moaned, rocking back and forth, "Shit! Shit! Shit! Why did I do that to him? I…should have tried to explain. I should have let him wake, then explained. I could have made him understand, but I was a coward…and I hurt him! Damn! Now he hates me! I was supposed to help him. I promised I would, but he knows what I did to him. He hates me!"

He forced himself to lift his eyes and was struck by the sight of Senbonzakura lying on Byakuya's desk. It had to stay here, away from its wielder, until Byakuya regained some kind of control. The damning fact, though, was that the sword was probably more capable of getting through to him than anyone…but the danger of linking them with Byakuya so out of control…

"I'm sorry, Byakuya…so sorry!" he hissed softly, continuing the rocking motion.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Where is Renji today?" asked Captain Unohana, leaning over Byakuya.

"Renji left yesterday, after he sealed away Byakuya's spirit energy," Rukia said softly, "He was really upset…so I think he is just processing."

"And you say that Byakuya has been unresponsive ever since?"

Rukia nodded.

"I haven't even been able to get through to him…and he was responding to me before. Did we…do the wrong thing? Should we have tried to wake him and explain?"

"It wouldn't have made a difference. From what I can tell, Byakuya is trapped inside himself right now. There's no guarantee that if you had attempted it, it would have worked. In addition, there was too much of a likelihood of someone being hurt."

"But now things are worse," Rukia sighed, gazing at her brother, "It's like he doesn't know we're here at all! He hasn't moved from that spot. He stopped eating. He won't even look at us. Captain Unohana, can you tell me? What is it that my brother needs?"

"Yes," Unohana replied sadly, "He needs for Renji to return. Do you know where he is?"

"No, no one has seen him. He was really shaken up. I'll go to look for him. I should be able to figure out where he went."

XXXXXXXXXX

_I can't move. I can't breathe. All I know is darkness that is broken by bright flashes of light and intense pain. I can no longer track the time. It all blends in together. I don't know how long it has been since I was last beaten. I don't know how long it will be until the next beating. He said only a few more days…but I've lost track. I know now that I must be losing my mind, because Gin has to work so hard to make me scream. It's like I've forgotten how. Light breaks into my cell and I can't even groan._

_"Same as yesterday…boring," Gin says, dragging me out._

_Aizen steps forward. It strikes me as strange. Usually, he waits in the other room. I think, though, that he is on to what Gin has been doing. Looking at the wreck I am now, one could hardly believe I had been healed the night before…and in truth, I hadn't._

_"Gin, I think he has been punished for long enough," Aizen says, "Take him to his room."_

_"Not the cell?"_

_"Now, Gin, and when I arrive, he had better be fully healed or you will lie in this cell tonight."_

_I am lifted none too gently and carried. Stairs, a hallway, an entryway, and a large staircase. He carries me down another long hallway to a pure white door. He pushes it open and steps inside, dropping me onto the soft bed. Then he kneels next to me and begins to heal me, his eyes saying that he would much rather have me back down in that room, screaming in pain. Despite his discontent, he does an adequate job in the healing, only because he knows that Aizen suspects he went farther than instructed in my punishment, coming to my cell more often than Aizen wanted, inflicting more pain for a longer duration. I only figured it out because Aizen said he wanted to be there…but often he was absent and Gin's excuses were thinly disguised. The pain during those sessions was far worse than in those conducted in Aizen's presence. Gin finishes the healing and rises, walking out the door, which clicks shut behind him._

_There is too much space in here…too much light! The white has replaced the black, but the effect is the same. I am blinded. I sit with my back to the wall, my knees drawn up, my face buried in my arms. I never thought I would wish for the return of the darkness. The door opens and a tray is set on the table beside me. I ignore it. I remember the nights Gin brought food to my cell and I know better than to touch what is given to me. In the darkness of my cell, I ate only because Gin forced me to. And always, a short time after, my senses faded and something happened, but what happened was a blur. I do know he didn't want me to remember. That much was obvious._

_The door opens again, but I remain in my huddled position, refusing to move. I know it is Aizen…but I don't know what he is going to do. I am not in the dark cell, counting the hours by the distance between beatings. This is new and it terrifies me._

_"Bya," Aizen says quietly, "You know better than to ignore me when I enter. Look at me."_

_My face remains entrenched in my arms._

_"I will tell you only one more time…then I will have you taken back to your cell," he warns me._

_I don't know which fate is worse, but I lift my head slightly, looking up into his eyes._

_"Why have you not eaten?"_

_I stare in wide-eyed silence. I cannot tell him._

_"Come now, you need to regain your strength. Eat something."_

_He takes something from the plate and extends it. I lean away. He puts down the food and sits down beside me._

_"You need to tell me why you won't eat. You are defying me, Bya…and you know not to do that. You look fearful. What are you afraid of?"_

_I won't say it. I can't. But the words slip from my mouth._

_"I can't. It made the room spin."_

_He furrows his brow._

_"Eating caused this? When?"_

_"In the cell…" I trail off, seeing the anger._

_"What happened?" he says, fury in his voice._

_"I…don't know. I can't remember…"_

_He is silent for a moment._

_"Do not worry. I will make sure that does not happen again."_

_But I know that once he realizes that Aizen knows, he will find a way to make me pay. I shiver softly and place my face back in my arms. Aizen touches my shoulder._

_"You will eat now, Bya."_

_Defeatedly, I raise my head and turn toward the food. I soon learn that my suspicions are correct. That night, the room spins faster than the sands outside and late at night, he finds a way to slip in unnoticed. Snakes have a way of doing that. I know he is there, but I cannot move. Strangely, my mind is crystal clear this time._

_"I know you told you him, Byakuya. That is part of the reason why he's going to give you the pendant tomorrow. Sadly, that will put an end to our fun. But we have tonight. Tonight I'll show you why you should never betray me. And if you're tempted to say anything, you might also remember that if he suspects anything happened between us, he will kill you. For some reason, that matters to him. Yes, yes, I assured him nothing untoward happened before. I already know how to lie convincingly. You will learn to do so, too, or you will die. Now then, let's see to your punishment," he sneers._

_I close my eyes. It would take but a single word to bring the guard in from outside the door, but he keeps Shinzou close at hand…and I know that to break my silence is to invite death. By the time he leaves, I am fully aware of how fortunate I was to have been drugged when he came to my cell those nights. I have to wonder if death might have been preferable to learning the truth._

_XXXXXXXXXX_

Renji heard the sudden booming of thunder and jumped awake. Rain was beginning to fall outside. Though the room still looked dark, he realized it was morning. Someone was turning the door handle to the Squad Six office.

"Shit, I've been here all night!" he muttered,

The door opened and Rukia stepped in, shutting it again behind her. She crossed the office and sat down next to him, looking at him with sympathy.

"Renji," she said softly, "I was worried about you. Everyone is. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you had to seal away Byakuya's spirit energy. Maybe…someone else should have done it. I don't know."

Renji gave a long sigh.

"No…I'm the one he knows best. I had to do it…but I should have let him wake up first. I should have explained. I just…hurt him, then ran off like the dog I am."

"Stop doing that. Captain Unohana came after you left. She said that he probably wasn't truly coherent anyway…or he would have understood the necessity. She also said you need to come back. He won't talk to any of us. He won't eat. He doesn't sleep. He has horrid hallucinations. Renji, I'm scared. Captain Unohana told me that if we don't see progress soon, we may need to send him back to the hospital."

"Damn…more white walls, more strangers…he won't be able to handle that. Okay, Rukia. But realize that he might not even want to talk to me…especially after what I did to him. I'll come back, though. I owe him that."

Rukia took Renji's hand and pulled him to his feet. They turned out of the office and made their way back to the Kuchiki manor. As they entered, they met Captain Unohana in the entry.

"Renji," she said, relief in her voice, "I'm glad you returned. I was concerned about what we might have to do if we couldn't find you. His hallucinations have been frequent and increasingly intense. I know what you had to do was very difficult, but I ask you to try to put it behind you. Byakuya still needs your help."

"I'll help him. I'm sorry I left like that. I'm going to stay and tough it out with him. I'll see him through it."

Unohana smiled.

"He is fortunate to have such a devoted life partner."

That thought left Renji with a particularly warm feeling inside. He was smiling as he turned down the hallway and walked to Byakuya's room. Rukia stopped by the doorway, wiping tears from her eyes.

"It's bad," she warned him, "You should prepare yourself."

She wasn't exaggerating. Byakuya was lying down, but he tossed and turned fitfully in his sleep. Renji noticed something frightfully odd about the position of his hands and feet. It almost looked as though he was restrained. He moved quickly to Byakuya's side. It appeared the restraints existed only in his mind. He was speaking softly, so softly that Renji had to strain to hear.

"Stop…stop, I won't say anything…just stop. Gin, stop."

Renji stepped back, his face pale with shock, his eyes deadly. He felt a wave of fury rip through him and his reiatsu flared so sharply it lit the room with a red haze. His lips curled back in a feral snarl. And he knew suddenly that what Byakuya needed. He needed to kill that grinning bastard! Clamping down on his anger, he took a seat next to Byakuya and pulled him close.

"I promise you we'll get through this, Byakuya. And we're going to make him pay. But to do that, you have to fight. Fight! You have to come back so we can kill him!"

"Arigato, Lord Aizen," Byakuya breathed softly, "Arigato."

"Dammit! I'm not Lord Aizen! Wake up, Byakuya! Wake up!"

He shook Byakuya roughly.

"Come out of it, so we can kill him!" Renji cried, nearing tears, "I want to kill that bastard! I want to kill him! Please, come back so we can kill him! Byakuya!"

Renji stood and turned away. He picked up the nearest chair and hurled it at the wall, shattering it. He heard footsteps and saw Rukia in the doorway. She took one look at Renji and was by his side instantly. He buried his face in her dark hair.

"I'm going to kill him! I'm going to kill him! I swear on my life I'll kill him!" Renji cried, his body shaking with rage.

"Who, Aizen?" asked Rukia.

"No," growled Renji, "Ichimaru Gin. I swear I'm going to kill Ichimaru Gin!"

They stared back at Byakuya who was once again, sitting with his back against the wall, legs drawn up tightly, his face buried in his arms. Renji moved back to his side and sat next to him, pulling him close again. Realizing that they needed privacy, Rukia backed slowly out of the room.

"I know what Gin did to you," Renji said softly in Byakuya's ear, "We can make him pay…but you have to come back. Come on, Byakuya, I know you're strong enough to do this. You have to. He can't get away with this. Hear me…I want to go after him…but more than that, I want to see you strong enough to beat the hell out of him. I want to see you beat him until there's nothing left. Byakuya, this is really important…because if you don't come back soon, I'm going to go and kill him myself. And you know I haven't done too well against Gin and Aizen in the past. It's going to take more than just me. Please, Byakuya, hear me. Look at me."

Very slowly, Byakuya's head lifted from Renji's shoulder and his eyes rose to meet Renji's. At the dark centers, it seemed there was a spark of light building in his eyes. Renji caught his breath sharply.

"I see it, Byakuya. Come on…talk to me. I'm…I'm sorry about what I did before…about sealing away your spirit energy. I only did that to protect us all until you get well. Deep down, you know that. Now, come back to us. I see you trying…that spark in your eyes. Talk to me, Byakuya…even if it's just to say you're pissed at me for what I did!"

Byakuya moved a hand to Renji's arm.

"Renji," he said, barely above a whisper, "I am glad you're here."

Renji smiled.

"Good," he replied, kissing him gently, "Cause I wouldn't leave even if you wanted me to."

The dark eyes wavered and Byakuya seemed to lose focus.

"No, don't leave again," Renji said, taking Byakuya's face in his hands and staring into his eyes, "Stay here. Stay here and fight your way back!"

"It's…hard to focus. I keep feeling something pulling me away."

"Well, fight it. I need you here with me. Those nightmares are in the past, now. You need to come back to the present. There's a lot we have to do."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, "Yes, there is."

"You should rest, now Do you want something to help you sleep?" Renji asked.

Byakuya shook his head.

"It's hard enough to stay here without that."

"Just as long as you do stay here. Don't make me have to come after you again. It scares the hell out of me when you disappear into yourself like that."

"Well, now," Byakuya said softly, "we wouldn't want that, would we, Renji?"

He pulled away from Renji and dropped down onto the bed again, and in moments, he was asleep. Renji watched carefully and was relieved to see that this time, there was no nightmare.

XXXXXXXXXX

Rukia stepped into Byakuya's room and made her way to Renji. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed, his head on Byakuya's shoulder and he was talking softly. She couldn't hear the words, but the intent was clear. She had been watching Renji all afternoon and she knew something was wrong. She touched his shoulder gently.

"Renji, I need you to tell me what is going on. Something is wrong. I can tell. You smashed a chair. You told me you were going to kill Ichimaru Gin. You already knew Gin tortured him. What else did you find out that made you act like that?"

Renji sighed, clenching his teeth.

"Renji, you are his life partner and his best friend…but I am his sister. If you know something about Byakuya's condition, you need to tell me."

"You don't want to know," he said in a deadly voice, "Just let me take care of it."

She knelt next to him, taking his hand.

"I think I already know," she admitted softly, "and I, too, want to see Ichimaru Gin pay. But, Renji, revenge is going to have to wait. We need to get him back. If you go after Gin now, Byakuya could end up back at the hospital. I don't want that to happen…so I am asking you to wait until Byakuya is better. Don't go after Gin right now."

Renji smiled grimly.

"I wouldn't do that," he said softly, "because I'm going to make sure Byakuya is with me when I go after him. That bastard will die…it doesn't matter how long we have to wait. He will pay…We'll make him pay."

"Thank you, Renji…for waiting."

"Sure thing, Rukia."

"Renji, there is a storm coming and I have to go check in with my squad. I will come back as soon as I can. I sent the staff home, because it is going to be a large storm."

"No problem, I'm not planning to leave him, Rukia, not for a while. He's pretty fragile right now." Renji replied.

"Okay, Renji. I'll try not to be too long."

"Take your time. We'll be fine," Renji said.

Rukia turned and flash stepped away.

Rain had begun to fall, beating heavily on the roof and starting to come in through the open bedroom door. Renji rose and went to close it. As his hands moved to push it closed, furious gusts of wind began to buffet him. He heard a loud cracking sound and looked up in surprise. A huge tree was falling toward the room. Reflex would have made him jump to the side, but he was very aware that Byakuya still lay in the room. He flash stepped to the bed and dove across, pulling Byakuya to the floor with him as the tree came crashing down on the room, shattering everything in its path and leaving the room in ruins.

XXXXXXXXXX

_I thought the blackness was gone, but for some reason it has returned. I wonder now if it was all a dream…if coming home was merely an illusion and I am back in the blackness of my cell. It is every bit as cold as it was then…but it feels different somehow. I feel warmth next to me. But who is there? Is it Renji, or has Gin returned? Is this real or am I dreaming?_

_I try to move, but something prevents this. Something presses down against my back and it will not allow me to move. I lie quietly, letting my face rest against the floor. My eyes begin to adjust and Renji's face comes in to focus. His eyes are closed and a thin trail of blood trickles down his forehead. Is this real? I thought I had come back. But the room is in darkness. He has always made sure there was a light in the room…ever since I returned. This room has not been left in total darkness like this, not for one moment. Is this real?_

_Everything fades for a time, but I slowly reach the realization that I am hearing something. When I lay in the darkness of my cell, the only sound I ever heard was the sound of Gin's footsteps approaching. This sound is different. It is light and faint at first, but it grows in intensity. A breeze touches my face. There was no movement of the air in my cell. A scent reaches me and I lift my head to breathe it in deeply. I feel something inside me start to reawaken. I know that sound, that scent on the breeze. I've heard and smelled this so many times. It brings a smile to my lips. This is familiar. This is real. I feel the wetness touch my skin and I finally come to full awareness…because I know…It never rains in Hueco Mundo…_

_I try again to move, but something still holds me down. I reach back and encounter the rough tree bark. I know now what has happened._

_"Renji…"_

_I touch his face and he moans softly. I would use kido to free myself, but my spirit energy is sealed away…most likely to protect those around me while I struggled to return from madness._

_"Renji, wake up…"_

_His face is warm and I can feel his breath touch my skin. I shift slightly, so that my face is close to his._

_Thunder rumbles, sending tremors through the tree that holds me down…the floor beneath me. The rain grows heavier and works its way down through the wreckage of the room, trickling onto my skin. The wind whistles with ferocity._

_I kiss his rain-touched lips._

_"Renji?"_

_Brown eyes blink slowly open and meet mine. They look hazy and unfocused._

_"What happened?" he asks softly._

_"The storm brought down one of the trees," I tell him, "Can you move?"_

_He shifts slightly, but the motion destabilizes the tree and it sinks down more heavily onto my back._

_"Stop," I warn him._

_"Sorry, did it hurt you?" he asks quickly._

_"A bit. It's okay, now. Renji, you need to use kido to break up or move this tree."_

_"I don't know," he says, looking up at the tree, "It might make things worse. If I don't do it right…Byakuya, you know my control isn't as good as yours."_

_"Yes, perhaps, but right now, I don't have use of mine."_

_Guilt washes over his face._

_"I'm sorry about that," he says softly._

_"You had to. I know I was out of control before."_

_He looks more closely at me and touches my face._

_"You look a lot better, Byakuya. You finally look like you're all the way back here."_

_"It was the rain," I tell him, "It doesn't rain in Hueco Mundo. The rain woke me."_

_He smiles._

_"I've always liked the rain," he says, leaning forward to bring his lips to mine, "Kami, Byakuya, I missed you ! Even once you came back, it's like you weren't really here. But you're here…You're really here, Just…don't leave me like that again!"_

_"Renji," I say softly, brushing the tears from his eyes, "I won't leave you again. In any case, I hardly think I can go anywhere. I am still trapped under this tree."_

_He laughs at that, then brings his hands to my wrists._

_"I don't think we need these anymore."_

_I watch the bands fade away and I feel the flare of power in my core. I finally feel alive again, brought back from the deadness of Hueco Mundo. The spirit energy gathers inside, growing stronger and stronger until the air hums with the intensity. Renji's eyes look lively again and his smile warms me. I gather the power and focus on the tree that holds us down. I invoke no kido spell, but let raw power turn the tree into dust. _

_I am free again._


	13. Finding Comfort

**Chapter 13: Finding Comfort**

Ichimaru Gin was something less than pleased. He had been under the impression that the disastrous end of Sosuke's ridiculous little fairy tale relationship with Byakuya would send him back into Gin's arms. Not that he intended to make it easy. Despite having accepted the fact that Sousuke Aizen was incapable of maintaining a monogamous relationship, he hadn't expected that his lover would spend months nearly ignoring him just to bring Byakuya into his bed.

Although…nothing had happened…As many nights as they had slept in each other's arms, Byakuya had, in the end, refused to give in.

The irony made Gin smile. Sousuke had ached for Byakuya to fall into his arms, to melt at his kiss, but that had not happened. And Gin, who was told that he was not allowed to touch the favored captain except when doling out punishments, had done far more than touch him as soon as Sousuke's back was turned. There was great irony there. He had tortured Byakuya to the brink of madness by day, then drugged him into oblivion and brought him to the heights of pleasure at night. Yes, it was odd…the contrast. He had really rather enjoyed both. The punishments were deserved for bringing pain to Gin by stealing Sousuke away.

But the pleasures at night were amazing. He loved the hazy, confused dark eyes that couldn't quite seem to focus…the pale, petal-soft skin, and that sinfully delicious mouth! The memories were still recent enough that he could easily call to mind the warm honeyed taste of it and the feel of Byakuya's tongue gently curling around his. He could feel the softness of Byakuya's body against his, the slow trembling movements beneath him, and he could hear the soft pleasant sounds he made as he tightened his hands on Gin and gave in to the pleasure. As brutal as the torture was, their lovemaking was always strikingly tender. And afterwards, Gin always lingered, treating the noble's recovering body to a playful rendering of light kisses and gentle touches. It did bother Gin that Byakuya always called out Renji's name…but it was a small price to pay, really. The problem was that he had enjoyed Byakuya so much that returning to Sousuke had lost some of its allure.

And anyway, Sousuke hadn't made any overtures since the day Byakuya left. That night, he had yanked Gin into his bedroom and violently taken him, leading him to believe that things would return to what they had been. But it had only been that one night…and then Sousuke had retreated and become moody and withdrawn.

Gin tapped gently on the bedroom door.

"Come in, Gin," Sousuke said in a tired voice.

Gin opened the door and found Aizen sitting in the window seat with the kimono Byakuya had worn resting in his lap, and his eyes staring out into the distance. The bed was unmade and on it lay Byakuya's cleaned and mended shihakushou, haori, kenseiken, gloves, and the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu. Gin sniffed derisively.

"Really Sousuke, when are you going to stop mooning about? You did tell Byakuya to go. Granted you thought he was dying…but then, he would have if it hadn't been for that brat who got in the way."

"Yes…he would have. And I could have lived with that. It was, after all his choice to die protecting Renji Abarai. A foolish move, but then, he does have a soft spot for mongrels."

"Are you sorry?" Gin asked, "Do you regret not forcing him?"

Aizen sighed.

"I do wonder what it would have been like," he said softly, "I loved the feel of his reiatsu. It was uncommonly soothing. And there was such warmth…not at all what I expected. When I knew him in the Sereitei, he was cold…distant, not at all like the soft, vulnerable creature he became while he was here."

"Well…torture will do that to a person," Gin commented, smiling.

Aizen sighed softly again.

"What was it like, Gin?" he asked finally "What was it like when you were with him?"

"When I was with him?" Gin asked, amused, "I told you I only…"

"I'm not stupid, Gin. I know you were with him. Tell me what it was like."

Gin laughed sarcastically.

"You shouldn't ask me such things. After the way you've treated me, you're lucky I stay with you at all."

"The way I treated you? That's interesting coming from you, Gin. You are the one who actually took him. So I think it's fair to ask."

Gin grinned.

"How about this, Sousuke," he said, taking the kimono from his lap and dropping it on the floor, "You pleasure me…and I will tell you anything you want to know."

A slow smile lit Aizen's face. He stood and untied the belt at Gin's waist. He peeled back the top of his shihakushou and ran kisses down the side of his throat.

"So where shall I begin?" laughed Gin.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji pushed himself up onto his knees and pulled Byakuya up with him. They knelt on the bedroom floor with the rain coursing down through the wreckage that had been Byakuya's room while he was recovering. Renji reached out and placed a gentle hand on Byakuya's face. The noble placed his hand over Renji's, then turned his face so that he could kiss the warm palm that rested against his cheek. He turned his head towards Renji and leaned forward, meeting his parted lips open-mouthed and hungry. Renji's arms closed around him, pulling him in closer and one hand moved up to rest against the back of his head, his fingers sinking into Byakuya's rain-dampened hair. Holding the noble close, he eased Byakuya down onto his back on the floor and brought his body gently to rest on his lover's. He deepened the kiss, his tongue softly capturing Byakuya's, and lowered a hand to the tie at his waist. Renji felt sudden tension in Byakuya's body and saw the flash of distress in his eyes, and hastily drew back. Byakuya stared at him wordlessly and Renji could feel the panicked racing of his lover's heart.

"Byakuya, it's okay," he said softly, bringing his hand back to his lover's face, "I didn't expect that you would come back and everything would just go back to the way it was. Hell, how could it? But there is no rush. We have time to work through this together. But you need to trust me. You need to understand that if you feel uncomfortable, all you have to do is to tell me. Can you do that?"

Byakuya hesitated, then nodded wordlessly and lowered his eyes. Renji looked around the wrecked bedroom and then back at Byakuya. The rain had soaked them to the skin and he could feel Byakuya shivering softly beneath him. He rolled onto his hands and knees and started to crawl through the debris. He heard Byakuya move to follow him. They broke free of the bedroom and made their way down the hallway, stopping at the door to the bedroom they had shared until Byakuya's disappearance. Renji looked closely at Byakuya in the darkness. Lightning flashed, illuminating his face, and Renji read the uncertainty in his dark, shadowed eyes.

"Come with me, Byakuya. We need to get out of the cold…get into some dry clothes. You've got to be freezing. I know I am," he said, taking Byakuya's hand and opening the door.

Byakuya followed him into the room and Renji slid the door shut behind them. He tried to turn on the lights, but the tree had knocked out the power, leaving the room in darkness. He went into the bathroom and returned with a large candle that he lit and set on the table next to their bed. Byakuya sat quietly on the bed, his eyes fixed on the candle, as Renji returned and sat down next to him.

"Would you like a warm shower? You look half frozen."

Byakuya looked up at him and nodded. He stood and moved across the room to the dressing area. He stood in the dressing area, his eyes now fixed on Renji. Renji stood face to face with him, his hands slowly moving to the tie at Byakuya's waist. He stopped before touching it.

"Is this…okay with you?" he asked, studying Byakuya's expression.

Byakuya's eyes closed for a moment and a soft tremor moved through him. He said nothing, but reached for Renji's hands and brought them to the tie at his waist. Renji smiled gently and pulled it free, then slipped the soft kimono off of his shoulders and let it drop to the floor at Byakuya's feet. Byakuya's eyes lowered and turned aside, but he stood still, waiting as Renji removed his own clothing.

Renji turned away and walked into the bathroom to start the shower. Byakuya stood listening to the sound of rain on the roof and the warm spray of the water in the shower. He wanted to take those last few steps, to join Renji in the shower, but letting Renji remove his clothing had been difficult…because instead of feeling his lover's hands, the hands that removed his clothing felt like Aizen's, and it left him wondering if it would be the same when Renji's hands touched him as they stood under the spray of water together. He shivered as much from dread as from the cold. He felt eyes watching him and realized suddenly that Renji had stepped out of the bathroom and was walking toward him, wearing a concerned expression.

"Hey, you coming?" Renji asked, smiling.

He forced a slow smile of his own and nodded, stepping forward and taking Renji's outstretched hand. They stepped into the shower together and Byakuya sighed contentedly as the hot water warmed his icy skin. The water cascaded through his hair, over his shoulders and down his back, chasing away the cold the rain had left on his skin. He felt his body relax as he breathed in the steamy air. He was almost convinced that things were going to be okay, when a touch on his shoulder sent his mind racing back to the bathing room in Hueco Mundo, the hands that removed his clothing, the eyes that followed him across the room as he entered the bathing area, the hand that touched his shoulder, startling him, and the soap being taken from his hands. Suddenly, the hot water could no longer warm the ice that rose in his veins. He jumped back, his eyes flaring.

"Don't…touch me!" he cried in something between a gasp and an agonized hiss.

Renji froze, staring. He met Byakuya's enraged glare with a mixture of surprise and sadness. Neither moved or spoke for a long moment. Then, Renji sighed.

"Okay," he said, his eyes on Byakuya's, "I won't do anything you don't want me to."

He stood quietly, watching the fury slowly leave his lover's eyes. Byakuya's reiatsu calmed and he loosed the dregs of his anger in short releases of breath. He blinked slowly, and to Renji it looked as though he was returning from somewhere far away. He waited calmly and smiled again when Byakuya took a small step toward him. Still, he didn't move, but waited for his lover to close the distance, holding perfectly still as Byakuya reached him and brought his face close to Renji's. There was still a tension, a sense that all was not well, but Byakuya brushed his cheek softly against Renji's, then dropped his head onto Renji's shoulder, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. Renji carefully lifted his arms to return the embrace.

"I'm sorry, Renji," Byakuya breathed, his voice barely audible above the rush of water, "I'm really sorry. That anger…what I said…it wasn't about you at all."

"I know that," Renji said, kissing his lover's damp forehead, "You haven't done anything you need to apologize for…so don't. We're going to get through this. Whatever it takes, we'll get to the other side of this. Just trust me. I'll try not to do anything to upset you, but Byakuya, I don't know exactly what happened. I don't know what will set you off. Sometimes I might say or do the wrong thing. It's going to make you react. When that happens, don't feel bad about it. I know what's happening. I understand it…and I promise, I won't take it personally."

Byakuya burrowed deeper into his shoulder, tightening his hold on Renji. As long silent minutes went by, Byakuya's body gradually relaxed. Finally, he pulled free of Renji reached for the soap. He gently took Renji's hand and placed the soap in it, curling his fingers around it.

"I trust you," he whispered in Renji's ear.

Despite the tremors that ran through him, he held himself perfectly still as Renji washed away the coldness and the blackness of memory that threatened to overwhelm him again. As Renji's hands moved slowly over him, he quietly released into the air the truth of what had been done.

"When the punishments finally overwhelmed me…and I couldn't fight him anymore, Sousuke gave me the pendant and my zanpakutou. He released the seal on my power, knowing the pendant…and the fear he instilled in me would keep me from attacking him. He promised me that I would take orders only from him, that no one but he would touch me, and that only he would punish any disobedience. But I had to yield to certain conditions. One was that each night he would take me to the bathing room. He would undress me, wash and dry my body and dress me again. Then we would go to his bed together and he would kiss me, before falling asleep with me in his arms. He said that he wouldn't step across certain boundaries with me…that anything more than that was my choice. I foolishly believed him. But he made it so that while I was asleep, my memory returned. As long as I slept, I dreamed of home, of you. And because of that, I…started to…"

He stopped, gripping Renji tightly. Renji said nothing, but Byakuya could feel the rage that boiled beneath his tightly controlled surface.

"I stopped myself when I realized what was happening," Byakuya continued, "and after that, I could rarely fall asleep. If it had happened again, he wouldn't have stopped. If it had happened again, what followed would have been my fault. I couldn't let that happen."

Renji took Byakuya's face in both hands and fastened his brown eyes on Byakuya's.

"It wouldn't have been your fault," he said firmly, "None of this is your fault. That bastard beat the hell out of you and twisted your mind in knots. But there is nothing that he's done that you and I can't overcome, Byakuya…nothing."

Byakuya's face paled and when he spoke next, Renji had to strain to hear him.

"What if what Aizen did wasn't all that happened? What if…" he stopped, burying his face in Renji's shoulder again.

Renji tightened his grip on Byakuya and let the rush of water carry away the tension. They finished showering in silence, then stepped out into the dressing area together. Renji handed Byakuya a towel and then set about drying himself and slipped into a soft sleeping kimono. He turned back and suddenly realized that Byakuya was still standing where he had been before, towel in hand, and a lost look in his eyes. He closed the distance between them.

"Do you want me to do that for you?" he asked softly, "I will, but only if that's what you want."

Byakuya sighed.

"How else am I going to make this go away? How else am I going to make myself forget the feel of his hands on me?" he asked quietly, "You asked me to trust you, and so I will…because it's what I want. It's what I choose, Renji."

Renji smiled and took the towel from his hands, drying him from head to toe and following touches of the cloth against his skin with light, feathery kisses. Then he wrapped a sleeping kimono around him and gently tied it at the waist. Byakuya leaned forward and caught his lips in a slow, sweet kiss, then stepped away, heading for their bed. The wind still howled outside the room and rain danced on the roof above them. He slipped in under the covers and waited as Renji moved to join him. Renji stopped at his bedside, looking down with questioning eyes.

"I don't have to stay here tonight if you're not ready for that," he said, looking away for a moment.

"Come, Renji," Byakuya said softly, "don't you think that Sousuke Aizen has kept apart for long enough? I want you here with me. Maybe all we'll do is hold each other tonight, but just being together is more than he would have allowed me. He hated that I love you so much. He punished me for even speaking your name in his presence. I hate the way he made me feel, the fact that I had to submit to his wishes the way I did."

"Hey," said Renji, sliding into the bed and pulling him close, "you were just doing what you had to do. You were just keeping yourself alive so that I could come for you and bring you home again. You're home now, Byakuya. You're safe now."

"Safe?" Byakuya whispered softly, "There's no such thing, Renji. Sosuke Aizen swore to keep me safe, too. But safety is an illusion, like peace. You wrap yourself in it, telling yourself it will last, but it never does. So we have the 13 Court Guard Squads with their godlike captains, so powerful, so strong, so fearless…some dare to think…invincible, but that is an illusion, too. Because metal bands hold back power, restraints undo strength, and being broken leaves even the most fearless captain terrified. Safety doesn't exist."

Renji brushed the hair away from Byakuya's eyes and kissed him gently on a tear-stained cheek.

"Renji, why did you want me here with you? How can you even look at me? Everything you loved me for is gone. I am powerless, weak, and full of fear. I cannot offer you anything now."

"Byakuya," he said, taking his lover's face in his hands and guiding Byakuya's eyes to his, "I didn't fall in love with you for your power, for your strength, because of your fearlessness, or because you could bring me safety or peace. I love you for your heart…the one you hide from nearly everyone. Now, even that may be broken…but it will heal…and all of the rest will come back…power, strength, fearlessness, safety, and peace."

Byakuya shook his head slowly.

"It doesn't matter," he said bitterly, "because someone else will come and take them away again. It is an endless cycle, Renji."

"Then, as I see it, you have two choices…" Renji said, his eyes locked tightly on Byakuya's, "You can give in and let yourself and all of the ones you protect be lost…or you can do what you've always done…grow strong again so that you can fight back, so you can take back and protect what's yours."

"Renji…I want to. But…there are some things that, when taken, are gone. They don't return…ever. I thought that I was in control…not in control of everything, but that there were some things that were unquestionably in my hands."

He paused and Renji could see that he was steeling himself against whatever he was going to say next. He stroked Byakuya's face gently, waiting.

"I could learn to accept being locked away, being beaten. I know that when you are a captain, there is always the danger that you will face imprisonment and torture, even death…but to be completely defenseless, metal bands locking away the power, restraints holding the body frozen, fear used to stop the words that might protect you, to then have your own body used against you, and to have it betray you in such a way that it empties you of all feeling…then to have your enemy laugh at your weakness…it doesn't just break you…it shatters you."

Renji felt tears rising in his eyes.

"This is what Ichimaru Gin did to you?" he whispered.

Byakuya bit his lip until he drew blood. Slowly, he nodded.

"If there was a single memory," he said softly, lowering his eyes, "that I would gladly allow Kyouka Suigetsu to take, that would be it. I would have it take away the memory of his eyes, the feel of his breath on my skin, his fingers touching my face and searching my body, but mostly the words! The words made it unbearable. All but once, I was drugged so that I didn't remember what he said or did…but he became angry, because something I said alerted Aizen to what Gin was doing to me. Gin came that night and used a drug that left me unable to move, but it left my mind clear, so I would hear everything he said and I would be aware of what he was doing. First, he warned me not to alert the guard, because he knew that if Aizen learned of Gin's actions, he might have killed Gin, but he would with absolute certainty have killed me. I was just trying to stay alive. That was all that was in my mind, because I trusted that help was coming. Having silenced me, he whispered into my ear every detail of what he had done while the drugs had clouded my mind. Then he…repeated each action that night as I lay unable to stop him, and in full awareness. Finally, I decided that death was, in this case, the better option. I opened my mouth to cry out for the guard…and…he…closed his mouth over mine and tightened his hand on my throat so I couldn't make a sound. When it was over, he just kept talking. He said…he said that now I wouldn't be able to forget…and that no amount of healing could undo the damage. He said that from then on, whenever someone touched me, I would remember his hands on my body…whenever words were whispered in my ear, I would hear his voice, and every time I was kissed on the mouth, I would taste the honeyed green tea he used to drug me."

Renji tightened his grip on Byakuya, holding him with arms that shook as hard as his own.

"Byakuya," he said in a trembling voice, "those were horrible, awful lies…you must know that."

"I don't know," he replied in a wavering voice, "because even now, his words are with me…and I can feel his touch on my body. How do I stop the words, the touches…how do I get that voice out of my head?"

Renji lowered himself so that he was lying on his back and pulled Byakuya down with him. He caught his lover's face in his hands and brought it to his own.

"You have to move forward," he said softly, "You have to drown out his voice with voices you want to hear, erase his touch with touches you want to feel. You have to regain the strength they took from you…and when you go after Gin to make him pay for what he did, you need to do so with the ones who love you at your side."

He pulled Byakuya into a deep, passionate kiss, then brought his lips to the noble's ear.

"Where are you now, Byakuya?" he asked softly.

"Home," he whispered, "I am home."

He locked his eyes on Byakuya's and ran his hands through the raven black hair.

"Whose touch do you feel, Byakuya?"

"Yours, Renji," he breathed.

"And whose voice is in your ear?"

"Yours, Renji."

He stroked Byakuya's hair gently and lowered his lover's head to rest on his shoulder.

"Sleep now, Byakuya."

"Not yet," he said softly.

Renji looked at him questioningly. Byakuya lifted his head at smiled at Renji…then buried himself in his lover's warmth until he could feel nothing else.

Sousuke Aizen waited until Gin's footsteps had faded away and then got out of bed and tied the belt at his waist. He returned to the window, stopping to pick up the kimono that laid on the floor. He brought it to his face, gently inhaling the light scent of cherry blossoms. Then he set the kimono on the window seat and turned back to the bed. He lifted and carefully folded Byakuya's shihakushou, haori, and the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu, then set the kenseiken and gloves on top of them. He added a note and sealed the items in a box, then rose and walked slowly to the door. He paused for a moment, looking back, and he could almost see Byakuya sitting silently in the window seat staring calmly out at the spinning sands. He blinked the sight away, then turned walked out the door, closing it softly behind him.


	14. The Rise of the New Moon

**Chapter 14: The Rise of the New Moon**

Renji stepped into the entryway of the Kuchiki manor, a package tucked under his arm and, for the first time in weeks, a genuine smile on his face. Byakuya's progress over the past several weeks had been encouraging, to say the least. He continued to have recurring nightmares, but the hallucinations had ceased, and he was once again living in the present. Renji knew he still suffered more than he let on, but there was also a return of the fire in his eyes. Something told Renji that Ichimaru Gin should be very frightened, because Renji sensed something different and almost unsettling in Byakuya. He had felt the captain's anger, disgust, and resentment before, but what was building beneath that calm exterior was heavier than anger, harsher than fury, and more relentless than rage. It could only be described as a firestorm, a thirst for blood, a cold and calculated desire for reckoning. The words were never spoken aloud, but there was no need for words between them. There hadn't been for a long time now.

When Renji reached the garden, he found Byakuya sitting by the koi pond with Chisaki and Takeshi on either side of him, their eyes wide as they listened to the story he was telling. As he drew closer, he realized that the story Byakuya was telling was one of theirs. It was the story of how the ookami seirei had tried to take Renji and make him over into a spirit wolf. He didn't speak as he reached them, but sat down, placing the package on the ground and pulling Chisaki onto his lap, so he could move closer to Byakuya.

"So then," Byakuya was saying, "I came to the manor and went down into the archive to see what I could find out. Little did I know that Yuudai Kuchiki could follow me, because he was also a Kuchiki heir. He cornered me and touched my forehead…and I saw a vision of how he had become a spirit wolf. But I also saw something in the vision that he didn't expect."

"What did you see?" asked Takeshi excitedly, "Was it a magic weapon you could use to defeat him? Was it a spell?"

Byakuya shook his head.

I saw that two of the people who went with Yuudai had taken some kind of liquid that stopped them from completing the ritual. I didn't know what was in the compound, but I did hear the name. I fled then, and managed to get back to the living world, where Yoruichi helped me to escape Yuudai. I went to Kisuke Urahara and I told him the name of the compound. And, as you know, Kisuke is very learned in that area. He went to some ancient texts and translated them, so that he could find out what was in the compound. When he figured that out, he made some of it and gave it to me, so that I could save Renji and myself from the spirit wolves. Yoruichi took some to Rikichi and his friend, Kenta. But as I waited for Yoruichi, I heard the call of the wolves in my mind. I could withstand that, but then I heard Renji's voice calling me and I couldn't stop myself. I walked out of the living world and back into the desert of Hueco Mundo. The wolves saw the white light that was all around me and they followed me to the cave where Renji waited. Now, Renji was captured deep within their spell and he thought he waited only to drain me of life, but…"

"The potion! You gave him the potion!" yelled the twins together.

Byakuya smiled.

"Yes, I followed Yuudai into the cave and I gave Renji the potion. Renji drank the compound and as I watched, his eyes went back to normal, and I knew that the potion had worked."

"How did you get away?" asked Chisaki.

"That," Byakuya said, "is the most exciting part of the story. You see, when Yuudai realized what I had done, he took his zanpakutou and stabbed it right through me. I thought that I was going to die right then…but…I released my Senkei and it surrounded Renji and me with a thousand pink swords and it gave us time to make a plan. I told Renji that I would make the swords explode and then that he should take my sword and fight his way free, so that at least one of us would live to be with the two of you!"

"Were you really dying?" asked Chisaki, "That's so scary!"

"I was…but Renji was very determined that I should not die. After I made the swords explode, I handed Senbonzakura to Renji and he fought the wolves that were left in the cave with us. Renji was so strong that he defeated an onslaught of over one hundred spirit wolves!"

"Awesome!" exclaimed Takeshi.

Byakuya nodded.

"He was. Once the wolves were killed, Yuudai Kuchiki congratulated him and complimented him for being so strong…but then he released his zanpakutou, planning to kill Renji."

"But Renji didn't have Zabimaru!" yelled Takeshi, "And you can't release another person's zanpakutou! "

"What did Renji do?" exclaimed Chisaki.

"A great golden wolf sprang from his zanpakuto and it bore down on Renji, ready to take his life, but then something amazing happened…something unimaginable!"

"Did someone come to help?" asked Chisaki.

"No," said Byakuya solemnly, "What happened is that Senbonzakura called my spirit down into the depths of my zanpakuto, and together we released the sword's power. It swept over the golden wolf and slashed it to pieces, then it surrounded Yuudai Kuchiki and killed him."

"But how did you survive?" asked Chisaki.

"Well, a rescue force shattered the rock that blocked the cave entrance. Then Renji carried me to Rikichi's eagle and we flew to the living world. All of the way, Renji held me close to him and told me not to leave…so I held on to life as tightly as I could. But I was so hurt and tired, that I started to fade away. Renji brought me to Kisuke's shop and the human girl, Orihime, was waiting. She used her healing powers to bring me back from the very brink of dying!"

"Yeah," said Renji, grinning, "And you know what one of the first things he said to me was?"

"What?" cried the twins.

"I told Renji," Byakuya said, smiling, "that he looked awful and that he should go take a bath, immediately!"

The twins burst into fits of laughter and Renji and Byakuya exchanged warm smiles.

"Now then," Byakuya told the twins, "it's time for the two of you to go to Aunt Rukia and she will see to the preparations for tonight. I have to go with Renji, now."

Takeshi and Chisaki raced away across the grass, calling for Rukia.

Byakuya and Renji walked down the garden trail, then Byakuya moved toward the gate and opened it, passing through and holding it open for Renji. They started down the small forest path, side-by-side.

"What brings you back so early?" Byakuya asked, "I know you've been extremely busy…what with running the division and preparing for your promotion ceremony. I wasn't expecting to see you until later tonight."

Renji handed Byakuya the package he was carrying.

"This came for you…and I needed a sanity break. Don't worry, Rikichi is back now and I've trained a few others to assist with the paperwork. I did training exercises this morning and posted living world deployments. Everyone is working hard so that things will be running well when you return to duty."

Byakuya nodded.

"Thank you, Renji. I should receive clearance to return in a few days…but Captain Unohana has already granted a clearance for me to take part in your promotion ceremony. Are you ready?"

Renji laughed nervously.

"Well, if you're talking about knowing what to do when, then sure I'm ready, but about being a captain…"

"Well, you'll have good support. You will, of course, have Hinamori as a vice captain, and I heard there was talk of having Kira share the position with her."

"That's right," Renji said, nodding, "I talked to them about it. We all agree that with our history, it should make Squad Five very strong."

"That goes without saying, I think," Byakuya said in agreement.

They walked on in silence for a moment.

"Renji?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you…for everything. I appreciate you holding things together, giving me time to recuperate. I know more than a few doubted I would return. As discreet as everyone was, there was some concern I'd descended into madness. And, in truth, I think there was some validity in that concern…at least at first."

"Shoot, Byakuya, after what you went through, no one would expect you to be unaffected…and as for those who would, forget them. They aren't worth thinking about."

Byakuya stopped beneath a cherry tree overlooking his favorite waterfall and sat down, dropping the package into his lap. He sat in silence for a moment and Renji sat beside him, following his gaze.

"It's strange," Byakuya said distantly, "I'm surrounded by this…normality, this comfort, and I am, of course, very grateful for it, but I feel restless. I think I need to get back to work. I've had far too much time to reflect. I need motion, now."

"Well, just a few more days," Renji assured him, "and then things will stop feeling like they're on hold."

"Hmm."

Byakuya removed the bindings from around the package and unsealed it. As he opened the box, he froze, staring. Renji moved closer and felt a heavy jolt pass through him. The package held Byakuya's shihakushou, fingerless gloves, scarf, kenseiken, and his haori…those he had been wearing when he was captured…the ones Aizen had taken shortly after and Byakuya hadn't seen again.

"Renji," Byakuya said softly, "leave me now."

"Don't be stupid," Renji said sharply, earning him raised eyebrows and a reiatsu flare from Byakuya, "There is no way in hell I'm going anywhere right now, Byakuya. That has to have hit you like a ton of bricks. I don't mind giving you space when you need it…but I won't have you distancing yourself…not from me."

Byakuya was silent for a moment.

"I admit it is a shock," he said finally, "but I will be fine. It just…brought home the reality of what happened…not that I had trouble feeling that on my own…but…"

"Do you want me to take those back to the manor for you?" Renji asked softly.

Byakuya shook his head.

"I want you to leave."

"Byakuya…"

"Please, Renji," Byakuya said, closing his eyes, "I need to think in privacy for a while."

Renji sighed.

"Well, I guess if you really want me to…but please, don't get stuck inside your head, Byakuya. I'm here to help. I want to. I can't stand seeing you try to handle this stuff on your own. No one can do everything on his own. Share it…when you feel you can."

Byakuya smiled.

"I will, Renji. Make no mistake, you will always be one I confide in…but right now, I need a moment to think privately."

Renji nodded, stepping away.

"I will see you tonight at the ceremony. I have a few things left to do before then."

Byakuya nodded and watched Renji disappear down the trail. Alone beneath the cherry tree, he slowly removed the slip of paper beneath his kenseikan.

_Byakuya,_

_I wasn't certain whether I should return these or not, but they are yours, so it didn't feel right to keep them. Be assured that I do not intend them as a threat or as a way to hurt you._

_I have had a great deal of time to consider things since you left and I know you have also. I was glad to hear that you and your subordinates survived. Believe me, it caused me no pleasure to hurt them or you, but circumstances really dictated the course of things._

_There is an emptiness to Hueco Mundo since you left. I know it was wrong for me to keep you here as I did…and I have not reconsidered my decision to release you. There are loose ends to tie up, so I am in an awkward position. I need for you to return to Hueco Mundo. I will offer you a guarantee of safe passage to the fortress and back home. I cannot come into the Sereitei. There are too many preventions in place now. I think we both understand why. I am not just asking this for myself. Word has reached me about the difficulty of your recovery, and I think you would also benefit from gaining closure. Do not worry. I will not have Kyouka Suigetsu in my possession during our meeting and I will not allow Gin to attend. As long as you approach me in peace, you shall leave in peace as well._

_If you choose to honor my request, go to Soukyoku Hill on the night of the New Moon. I will use the portal to bring you here. You may bring an escort if you wish, but when we speak, I would like for us to be alone. My words are for your ears only._

_I know I did horrendous damage to you. Let me do this to try to address what part of that I can. I am sorry for what I've done. I want you to know that._

Sousuke Aizen

Byakuya leaned back against the cherry tree, his eyes pained and distant. He slipped Aizen's message into his pocket and set the package on the ground beside him. His cobalt eyes smoldered with the emotions that warred within him and his body trembled softly with a relentless wave of mingled anger and fear. There was no way that he should enter that fortress again…but he felt conflicted. He was well aware that there were still things he must face, that he must come to terms with in his mind if he intended to find peace within himself again, but the steps he needed to take were not clear to him. The way to peace was elusive and he could not with any certainty argue the logic of returning to the place where he had been held. Still, there was danger in that.

He shivered softly, remembering the ease with which Kyouka Suigetsu had penetrated and attacked his mind, tearing away all he held dear…all that meant anything to him. The golden light that, like Sousuke Aizen, was capable of inflicting devastating damage with a deceptively gentle touch, one that had caused Byakuya to seek comfort in the arms of the man who had, only moments before, taken everything from him. Yes, he remembered everything about it…it terrifying detail. But Aizen hadn't stopped there. He had gone on to try to build a false connection with Byakuya, one intended to leave him dependant on Aizen and isolated. When his escape and his meeting with Renji in the park caused that plan to fail, the torment had begun.

He estimated that he must have spent at least two weeks in the cell. Fortunately, the memory of his time there was dulled somewhat. Although he could remember the facts of his torture, the implements used, the type of restraints, the actions of his tormentors, he felt a strange sense of detachment…as though he had been somewhere outside of himself while it was all happening. And yet he knew he had been aware enough to feel each strike, to fight the urge to break the silence, then to break beneath the blows under the evil gaze of Gin's fully opened eyes.

And then there was the other type of torture, that which was inflicted by Gin in Aizen's absence. Because he had been drugged, he still had only vague memories of what Gin had done to him in that dark cell. But, in fact, after Byakuya had caused Aizen to become suspicious, Gin had made certain that he knew in full detail what had occurred. Byakuya's reiatsu flared sharply now as he remembered the night Gin had used a different drug, one that left his body frozen, but his mind painfully clear…that evil voice so close to his ear, revealing each sickening detail.

"_You don't remember, of course, but I always began by telling you how soft your hair and skin are, like flower petals, Byakuya…"_

Byakuya cringed inwardly, his reiatsu flaring almost painfully.

"_Your eyes looked beautiful, all hazy with confusion…"_

He was shaking now with disgust and rage.

"_Your mouth tasted sinfully sweet from the green tea and honey…"_

His eyes closed against the tide of fury that was rising now. The sky darkened and the wind rose around him, whipping his hair and sending a chill through him.

"_And it felt so delightfully warm wrapped around…"_

"Captain Kuchiki?"

Byakuya inhaled sharply. With an effort, he clamped down on his thoughts. The breeze that had risen around him faded, and he rose and turned slowly to face Captain Unohana. He gazed at her calmly, waiting.

"I am sorry if I startled you," Unohana said, studying him, "If you prefer, I can come back another time."

"What do you want?" he asked, his voice deceptively calm.

"I sensed that all was not well with you. I came to see if I could offer any assistance. It is clear that you were in some manner of distress when I arrived here. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Byakuya forced out a breath to release the tension in his body.

"No," he said firmly, "I do not require any assistance. You told me that there would be moments of distress during my recovery. That is what you sensed. I thank you for your concern, but I must take my leave of you now to prepare for Renji's promotion ceremony."

"I see," Unohana said calmly, "Wait for just one moment, please."

Byakuya paused, turned away, but listening.

"You endured a very painful and frightening time during your captivity. Your recovery is going as well as can be expected, but I am concerned that you are beginning to withdraw from your family. I have observed that you are attentive to your children and you do have normal interactions with the others in most respects, but I am aware of some areas of your life that have not returned to normal."

"As you have, so often, told me, everyone deals with adversity differently. I have my own manner of dealing with what happened…and I do not feel the need to dwell upon it. What is the point? I was captured in the course of battle and held by an enemy. I was beaten and forced into submission, then forced to act against my own. I am clear on what happened. I will admit to it being painful, but the pain has ended. It is time for me to move on. I won't live in the past. I will not allow it to control my future."

"I caution you not to be so decided that it is not in control of what is happening within you now."

"How do you mean?" he asked softly, turning to look her full in the eyes, "In what way is what happened to me controlling my life?"

Unohana sighed.

"I know you came up here with Renji. I saw him as I came in."

"Did he say something to you that made you think I was…unwell?" Byakuya asked sharply.

"Your vice captain is loyal to you. And it took no words to see his concern for you. Something happened…something that worried him greatly. I asked him what troubled him and he said it was just nervousness about his promotion."

"That makes sense," commented Byakuya pointedly.

"But his eyes said something more, Captain Kuchiki. His eyes said that he is afraid. He is not afraid of the ceremony and he is not afraid of being promoted. His fear centers on you…and it is intense."

"I pose no danger to my vice captain or any other."

"I did not suggest that you do. But I feel that before I can clear you to work with your division, I must have a complete picture of the state of your mind."

"I told you…" Byakuya began.

"There is much you left out," Unohana said quietly, "Although you have revealed in careful detail most of the facts of what happened, you have said little that reveals your emotional state regarding what happened. It's as though you are coping on a practical level, but not an emotional one."

"That is well within the bounds of normality for me, Captain," he said in a low voice, "I have never troubled myself greatly with emotional attachments to the events of my life. It did not interfere with my performance as a captain before, and it will not now. Now, I really must take my leave of you. There is much that needs attending before the ceremony."

Without waiting for a response, Byakuya gathered the package under his arm and started back down the walkway. Captain Unohana's worried gaze followed him as he disappeared into the distance.

Byakuya slipped into the shihakushou and bound the tie carefully around his waist.

"_Welcome home, Byakuya."_

The edges were longer now, revealing how thin he had become while in captivity. Eating might not be absolutely necessary for a soul reaper, but there were effects when one with vast spiritual pressure went without for too long. And things had hardly gotten better with his return to the Sereitei. He had spent several weeks trapped in his own mind. Even when Renji finally managed to help him find his way back, he couldn't help feeling sick inside when it came time for meals. The very smell of food reminded him…

_Don't make me have to force it down your throat again, Byakuya."_

The gloves slipped easily over his hands.

"_You won't be needing these…besides, your hands are too lovely to be hidden away like that."_

"_Silence, Gin!"_

The dust and blood from the battle had been carefully cleaned away. His haori had been cleaned and mended as well, and the heirloom scarf was also in pristine condition. He slipped these on, then carefully positioned the kenseikan in his hair.

"_It will be some time before the prince returns to his castle, eh, Byakuya?"_

"_Gin! I told you to be silent."_

He looked in the mirror and was shocked…at how normal he looked. The only things that really looked different were his eyes. There was a hollowness to them. They had never really betrayed much emotion, but now they looked barren. He wondered how obvious this was to everyone else.

The soft sound of approaching footsteps brought him out of his reverie and he stepped out of the dressing area and came face to face with Rukia. She looked at him in surprise.

"Byakuya…" she said, staring.

"Yes?"

"Byakuya…that uniform…I know you sent your uniform out for cleaning and your scarf and kenseikan were lost when…"

"It seems they were returned," he said shortly, "They arrived today. Renji brought them over from the office."

"Aizen…"

"Do not concern yourself with this," he said with more force behind it than he intended.

Rukia looked intimidated, but pressed forward.

"Byakuya, your captor just returned your clothing…the clothing you wore when you were taken. You cannot tell me that did not affect you."

"Of course it did," he admitted softly, "but I am capable of handling it. They are just clothes."

"And they are associated with what happened to you. Do you expect me to…"

"I expect that you will respect my right to deal with things as I will. I tire of everyone telling me how I should act. No one was there with me. No one knows…"

"I would understand better if you shared it with me, Byakuya," Rukia said softly.

"That would be pointless," he said, a bit more coldly than he meant it, "It is over. Why is it that no one will let it just be over? I am home, now and I have returned out of the dark recesses of my mind. I don't require, nor do I appreciate constant reminders of my failures."

His sister's eyes narrowed.

"Your failures? Byakuya, what are you talking about?" she asked, concern in her voice.

He forced down his rising anger.

"Come now, Rukia, you must see where my inadequacies led me? I failed to get to safety. I failed to put up any kind of fight when I was taken. I buckled under the weight of torture and my mind and body were violated and broken and used. Others had to risk themselves to recover me, and we all nearly died. Where in all of that was my power? My great strength? What a joke! I was weak…and because of my weakness, I was torn to pieces. I have only myself to blame for that!"

He turned and flash-stepped away, leaving Rukia staring, shock and distress plain on her face.

"Oh Byakuya!" she whispered, "Tell me that isn't what you really think!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji stood at attention, just outside the entrance to the Grand Hall, the center stage for soul reaper promotions and special events. Inside waited the head captain, the captains and all of the seated officers of the 13 Court Guard Squads. Behind them waited a huge crowd of non-seated soul reapers and others who had gathered to see him become a captain. He could hardly believe he had come so far. He wouldn't have gotten there at all without the combination of Rukia's friendship, Ichigo's attempt to save Rukia, and the evolution of his relationship with Byakuya Kuchiki.

"Renji," said a soft stoic voice behind him.

Renji turned to face his captain for the last time as a vice captain.

"Anxious?" Byakuya asked quietly.

"Who wouldn't be, right? This kind of thing doesn't happen every day. It's one of those once-in-a-lifetime kind of things."

Byakuya nodded.

"I once stood where you are now…probably feeling much the same way. You will be fine, Renji. You have trained hard and your accomplishments clearly show your readiness."

"Were you afraid?" Renji asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" Byakuya asked softly.

"Were you afraid? Did you worry that you might somehow fail to do what was expected of you? That you might face defeat? That you might let down the ones who depend on you?" Renji explained.

Byakuya paused for a moment.

"I…didn't feel much of anything really. You must remember that when I advanced in rank, it was because it was expected of me. I didn't have the passion for leadership that you do, Renji. In many ways, you are more suited to this than I am."

Renji stared at him in disbelief.

"You can't mean that! You…you're one of the reasons I'm here doing this. I couldn't have reached this point without you."

"You're wrong about that, Renji."

"Am I?" Renji asked sharply, "Who was it that saw both my strengths and my weaknesses, who challenged me constantly, who tested the boundaries of all of my abilities? Who loved me enough to be honest and push me to go, even though it broke his heart to do it?"

"Who took your closest friend from you, put you down, and nearly killed you? And why? Because the one with the real strength is, and always has been you, Renji. Be proud. You have earned this."

"I am proud, Byakuya. And I hope I have made my captain proud, too."

"Once we step inside, I will no longer be your captain, Renji. But I will tell you that I couldn't be more proud. I will miss your presence at my side, the long hours in the division office, the thrill we shared in battle, and even your impatience. But I have had my share of what you have to offer. There are others who need your guidance. It is time for us to step back and let go. So allow me to show you the honor you deserve, Vice Captain Renji Abarai."

Byakuya stepped forward and placed his hands on Renji's shoulders. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on each cheek before stepping away and walking into the Grand Hall. Renji stood staring after him, wishing for a moment they could go back in time together, and at the same time filled with excitement about the swiftly approaching future. He felt light and breathless as the signal came for him to enter and as those gathered inside came to their feet.

An attendant led Renji down the main aisle to where the head captain was standing, flanked by all of the captains of the 13 Court Guard Squads. Renji bowed and waited, then the head captain motioned to the standing crowd. Everyone but Renji and the captains took their seats. Renji stood motionless at attention as several officers gave introductory speeches, then the head captain stepped forward to give his address.

"We have gathered today to recognize, the outstanding achievement of one of our officers today, one who has shown in great detail what it takes to be a successful officer of the 13 Court Guard Squads…"

Renji attended, but couldn't help fading out, thinking about running through the Rukon District with Rukia, becoming a soul reaper, seeing Byakuya Kuchiki for the first time, battling hollows until he was drenched in blood, being promoted to vice captain, watching as Byakuya fought the illusory hollows in the park because his new vice captain asked him to, fighting Ichigo nearly to the point of dying, fighting Byakuya and coming even closer to death, running with Rukia held tightly in his arms, watching his captain nearly die saving Rukia…and knowing things would never be the same after, making a vow that from then on he would never fail to defend his captain, saving Byakuya's life in Inuzuri, making love with him for the first time, breaking free from their captivity in Hueco Mundo, battling the ookami seirei, binding their power on the battlefield until their reputation was nearly legendary, the arrival of their children and the emergence of their shape-changing powers, searching desperately for the captain he feared he had failed again, and standing at his Byakuya's side during his recovery so that the two could arrive safely at this moment in time. And it was time. The head captain had finished his speech. He was introducing Byakuya. His captain was stepping forward, the image of perfection he had always been, his eyes more calm than he could possibly feel, his steps slow and measured as he approached. As he reached Renji, Renji bowed. When his eyes met Byakuya's again, his captain was smiling. It was a smile just for him, probably only seen by him. Renji couldn't help but return it.

"Renji Abarai, you have come a great distance in your training and in the execution of your duties. You have shown dedication, persistence, and an unyielding desire to succeed. You have received the recommendation of your captain, and the supporting recommendations of each other captain, far more than needed to qualify you for promotion. You are a lesson in excellence and deserving of the honor of joining us as the new captain of the 5th division."

He stepped forward and Renji held his breath as Byakuya set his haori in place and gently turned him to face the waiting crowd.

"I consider it a great honor to introduce Captain Abarai of the 5th division."

The sound that erupted almost swept Renji off of his feet. He stood staring for a moment, then Byakuya was embracing him…and he wasn't alone. Each captain shook his hand and embraced him, welcoming him. When this was done, they returned to their places beside the head captain and waited for the thunder in the room to die down. Renji approached the head captain and knelt, his haori flowing out around him. The head captain reached down and placed a hand on Renji's shoulder.

"Captain Abarai, it is customary for me to give all new captains a blessing before sending them to their new posts. These are my wishes for you. I wish you wisdom to guide your decisions, courage to carry you through adversity, the loyalty of your subordinates, and the calm sense of peace to reassure you that even though battle is necessary, it protects something precious. Go now and serve the 5th division. Your squad stands ready for your leadership, Captain Renji Abarai."

Renji turned and saw his squad waiting to escort him out. He knew that he was supposed to simply turn and go, but he looked back over his shoulder at Byakuya. His eyes were calm as ever and filled with pride. His head tilted questioningly as he met Renji's eyes. Then Renji stepped away from his squad, crossed to Byakuya and embraced him again.

"Thank you, Byakuya," he whispered, before turning away and joining his squad.

Behind him, Byakuya stood frozen, his stoic expression hiding the warring feelings that gripped him…the deep pride he felt at Renji's accomplishments, and the loss of one whose loyalty he held dear.


	15. Build the Blind Fury

**Chapter 15: Build the Blind Fury**

**(I chose to leave the 'Captain's Challenge' part of this chapter pretty much as it was in In Defense of My Captain, because it works well with either pairing and it really is one of the most fun and exciting chapters I've written. Enjoy and please review! I love your comments!)**

Byakuya made his way through the house and onto the streets of the Sereitei. He passed the 6th division office and was nearly to the healing center, when a familiar voice called out from behind him.

"Byakuya! Wait up!"

He turned, smiling.

"Renji, I thought you would still be out celebrating," he said softly.

"No way," he said firmly, "I'm way too busy settling in…plus I had a couple of things to finish up at the 6th division. I wanted to make sure everything is in order for you there."

"You don't need to do that, Renji, but it is appreciated. Arigato."

"Ah, it's nothing. But can I ask a favor? I turned in my key, so I need yours to get into the office. Can I borrow it?"

"How about I go with you?" Byakuya suggested, "You can bring me up to date. But we need to stop in the healing center first and get my clearance."

"Sure thing."

They continued down the street to the healing center and turned into the large white building. Byakuya felt instantly uncomfortable. He had always hated the white walls…

"Byakuya?" Renji's voice sounded concerned.

Byakuya looked up at Renji and realized that he had stopped walking. He was staring at the white front door and he felt a sudden chill.

"Bad memories, huh?" Renji said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Nodding, Byakuya moved forward and through the door. They walked quickly down the hall to Captain Unohana's office and were greeted and sent inside. Captain Unohana looked up at them as they sat down, and smiled congenially.

"Thank you for coming Captain Kuchiki. Welcome Captain Abarai."

"Arigato, Captain Unohana," Renji replied.

"I assume you are here for your clearance to return to duty?" Unohana asked Byakuya.

Byakuya nodded.

"With the second seat promoted and the third seat just returned from medical leave, there is a need for me to return now to keep things running as smoothly as Renji has had them running."

Unohana nodded.

"I understand the need to keep things in order, Captain Kuchiki, but you need to understand why I must be certain it is a good decision."

"I assure you, Captain, I feel more than ready to resume my post. It has been too long already."

"Have you had any more flashbacks? Hallucinations? Anything like that?"

"No, just the occasional nightmare, but you said that is normal."

"Yes, I did. Have you resumed a relationship with your life partner?" she asked.

"Pardon?" Byakuya queried.

"Are you sharing a room with Renji now?" Unohana asked.

"Yes," he assured her, exchanging glances with Renji.

Unohana sighed.

"I don't mind telling you, Captain Kuchiki, I am concerned about your state of mind, but I will grant the clearance. However, if any symptoms reappear, I will have to remove you from duty again."

"Understood," he said softly.

Unohana wrote something down and handed it to Byakuya, who slipped it into his pocket. He and Renji left the healing center and returned to the 6th division office. Byakuya opened the door and motioned for Renji to enter. He followed Renji inside, and then closed the door. He looked around appraisingly as Renji studied his old desk, checking some of the reports Rikichi had finished for him. Byakuya walked slowly to his desk and paused, his eye falling on Senbonzakura, which still laid there.

"Oh yeah," Renji said, noticing the object his gaze rested on, "I was going to bring that over to the house. That was the last thing I was going to do today."

"I actually wasn't sure where it was," Byakuya said softly, stroking the hilt gently, "It has been a while. In fact, the last time I used it was…"

"Hey," Renji said quickly, "Don't think about that. It's over, Byakuya, and you are home."

"And yet, some things are slow to return to normal…some to the point that I wonder if they can."

Renji smiled supportively.

"Well, they will. It just takes time. You've been through a lot. Give yourself a break."

Byakuya sat down in his chair, half-listening as Renji read him the current updates and living world deployment reports. He kept the threads of the conversation so that he absorbed the important information, but his eyes remained fixed on Senbonzakura. At some point, he realized that Renji had stopped speaking and was gazing at him with concern in his eyes.

"Hey," Renji said softly, "That's really all of the important stuff. It's getting pretty late. We should call it a night. Want me to walk back with you?"

"No, Renji, I still have catching up to do. I won't be home for dinner. This may take some time."

Renji's eyes narrowed.

"Byakuya, I just updated you. I assure you, all of the stuff that needs doing has been done, and everything you need to know, I've told you. What is left? Or is that not it at all? Why don't you want to go back home?"

Byakuya sighed and rested his chin on his palms, his eyes still fixed on Senbonzakura.

Renji picked up his chair and set it down next to Byakuya. He sat down and Byakuya turned to face him.

"Come on, Byakuya," he said softly, "What is really going on? Look, I covered for you earlier by not telling Captain Unohana that you and I have only been together once since you came back."

"She asked if we were sharing a room. We share a room and a bed," Byakuya said shortly, "She did not indicate a concern about whether or not we were engaging in intimacy."

"Damn it, Byakuya! Look, I'm trying really hard to help you in any way I can. I don't want to put pressure on you, but I know what's happening isn't right! I love you…I don't understand why you won't…" he trailed off and went silent.

"Is that what you need to prove that I am whole again?" Byakuya asked in a low voice.

Renji remained silent, staring at the floor.

"Renji," Byakuya went on, "it just seems that there is something that has been left undone…something that must be made right. Until it is, I feel I cannot move forward."

"Ichimaru Gin?" Renji queried.

Byakuya's eyes widened.

"What did you say?" he asked, his face paling.

"I asked you," Renji said, "if you are talking about what Ichimaru Gin did to you while you were in Hueco Mundo."

"No, Renji," Byakuya replied, his eyes growing distant, "This is not about being tortured. I have experienced that before. This is…"

"And I am not talking about simple torture either, Byakuya," interrupted Renji, his eyes hardening, "You know what I mean, even if you won't talk about it. You told me…"

"Renji…" Byakuya hissed softly in a warning voice.

"I'm sorry, Byakuya, but I just can't pretend I didn't hear you when you told me about it. I don't know why after that you just seemed to try to pretend it didn't happen."

"Renji, stop!"

"No! Byakuya, I'm really afraid for you. I love you. But you just don't seem to be dealing with what happened. You're hiding from it…and that's not like you. Byakuya, Gin raped you. You told me it happened. You and I can't get back what we lost until you deal with that!"

Renji suddenly found himself yanked out of his seat and forced up against the wall. The hands that held him shook with barely controlled rage and the eyes that met his were deadly. Renji suddenly realized the Senbonzakura was pressed against his throat.

"Never," Byakuya hissed, "speak of this again."

He released his grip and turned, sheathing his sword and sweeping out the door before Renji could make himself move again. He stood for a moment, staring at the door, then slid slowly down the wall. He had been on the wrong end of Byakuya's temper plenty of times…but never like this. For a moment, he had become very afraid that Byakuya was really going to kill him.

Renji left the 6th Division office and flash stepped back to the 5th Division. He worked until after midnight, then reluctantly retired to the Captain's Quarters for the night. As comfortable as his new quarters were, he couldn't sleep. He ached with worry for his life partner. He had worked his way through so much, but what Gin had done to him still tore at him…and he just wasn't able to deal with it. He had thought that he was doing the right thing by being honest with Byakuya. Now he wondered. Byakuya was growing distant. And Renji was growing more and more worried. The anger inside is life partner had taken on a dangerous edge. His angry outburst at the 6th Division was the most disturbing evidence of that. Something had to give soon. Renji just hoped that he and Byakuya could hold things together so that when Byakuya went to face Gin, Renji would be at his side. Byakuya needed him…and Renji needed Byakuya too. Although he had retreated for this night, Renji Abarai was determined to get through to his life partner. He wouldn't stop until he did.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Byakuya," Ukitake said, his eyes widening as the 6th Division captain entered the simulation room, "I haven't seen you here in a while."

The captain greeted his eyes stoically, as usual, revealing nothing.

"It is important for me to continue my recovery. With the Hueco Mundo base facing nearly constant attacks and the appearance of Arrancar in the living world, it looks as though a major conflict approaches. All must be prepared. In any case, I did messenger my intent to come here."

"Yes, of course. I only meant that usually you seem to prefer your personal training ground at the Kuchiki manor. Did it get damaged in the storm?"

"No," replied Byakuya, the slightest hint of annoyance coming into his voice, "however there are distractions there that I wish to avoid."

_I think you mean a certain red-haired Captain…one who worries his former captain is headed for trouble, eh Byakuya?_

"Ah, I see," Ukitake said, smiling, "Do you want to start three-quarters power, mid level hollow? Just to warm up…"

"I want the Captain's Challenge Module, all segments."

Ukitake raised his eyebrows.

"Not messing around, are we, Captain?" he said softly.

"No," replied Byakuya stepping forward onto the training field.

"This should be interesting," commented Ukitake, punching an array of buttons to prepare the simulator.

"Hey, Captain Ukitake, what's going on?" called Renji, jogging into the simulation room.

Ukitake smiled in amusement. Now things would become very interesting. He had been careful not to mention two things to Byakuya…first, that Renji had come to him with concerns about Byakuya's unusual behavior and second, that he had known when Byakuya sent word he was coming to the simulator that Renji was going to be there as well. If Renji's concerns about Byakuya were valid, they would likely be proven so here…especially considering Byakuya's choice of simulation.

"Hello Renji," he said, smiling, "Don't be so formal. It's Jushiro now…you're a captain."

"Yeah," Renji said, looking a little sheepish, "I keep doing that."

"You'll adjust," Ukitake said reassuringly.

Renji turned his head to look into the simulation room and his eyes widened.

"That's…"

"Byakuya, yes."

"I wondered where he went this morning. He skipped breakfast and Rukia said he didn't say where he was going. After what happened yesterday, I was worried…"

"And with good reason," Ukitake agreed, "Renji, I know you have requirements of training as a new captain, but I would remind you that part of the requirement is observation of current officers."

"You think I should skip my simulator exercises and watch him?" Renji asked, lifting an eyebrow, "Why?"

"Well, Renji, the Captain's Challenge Module is the strongest we have. For you to view our strongest captain tackling our strongest module would definitely be…educational."

"I see," said Renji, smirking, "And is that what you're going to tell him when he threatens you with Senbonzakura for letting me in here?"

"Now, Renji, he'd have no grounds for that. It is, after all pursuant to your training goals and we would have informed him ahead of time if he wasn't already in the module when you arrived. But just the same, why don't you head over to the remote viewing room over there. If he doesn't notice you, perhaps we needn't bother him with such a trifle."

"You planned this!" Renji said accusingly, "How did you do that?"

"Remember Renji, a smart captain never reveals his secrets. Now go, before he sees you out here!"

Renji turned and ran towards the viewing room. Ukitake finished setting the simulation and glanced into the simulation room where Byakuya waited.

"Captain's Challenge Module, First segment," Ukitake said into the microphone, "Stage One, Hand to Hand Combat, Weaponless."

Byakuya nodded his readiness as Ukitake's voice floated over the training ground. There was a slight lowering of the lights and the room around him changed to rocky desert terrain. He was now standing in the stone ruins of a hollow base. His response was immediate. He reached out with reiatsu, sensing four high-mid-level hollow and one Arrancar. The Arrancar had sensed his presence and Byakuya felt the approach of the hollow subordinates. Using the stones closest to him, he slipped out of sight, lowering his reiatsu and moving toward the Arrancar. He could hear the loud shouts of the other hollow as they searched for him. The Arrancar was extending his senses, feeling for Byakuya's presence. He sensed the captain's approach just before he was forced to the ground and dealt a fatal blow to the throat. He released a choked cry, alerting the other hollow, who charged Byakuya immediately. He might have been outnumbered, but the captain was more then a match for them, killing them quickly and then looking back at Ukitake reproachfully.

"Easy, Byakuya, lower the spiritual pressure…I was just letting the simulator warm up. First segment, second stage, Endurance Barrage."

The dead hollows faded away. A new hollow appeared behind Byakuya and attacked instantly. It was dropped almost as quickly as it appeared. As it fell, another stronger hollow appeared, again attacking instantly. This pattern continued repeatedly until the hollow were the highest level allowed by the simulator. Still, Byakuya seemed unfazed…not even tired. Now the hollow appeared with small weapons that had to be taken before a kill could be initiated. Byakuya's movements became a blur to the two who watched him, earning (unknown to him) raised eyebrows from Ukitake and a low whistle of appreciation from Renji. A short time later, the single attacks gave way to multiple, and Byakuya sensed the beginnings of fatigue. He was still disarming and killing the hollows quickly, but he was losing some precision. Attacks were coming in from all directions now. Byakuya released his spirit energy, throwing all of his fury into the battle. Hollow fell like flies around him until the simulator had to make some dead hollow disappear to make room for more. The fatigue was increasing now. Byakuya reached down inside himself, deepening his focus. He tried to imagine that each hollow wore Ichimaru Gin's grinning face. It was like magic. He was moving faster again, his body lit with spirit energy as he took down hollow after hollow. The simulator had nearly reached the limits of its programming when exhaustion finally overtook him and he dropped softly to the ground. The hollows instantly vanished.

Renji tore out of the viewing room, racing back to Ukitake, his face filled with concern.

"Is he okay?" he asked quickly.

Ukitake nodded.

"They don't call this Captain's Challenge for nothing. It pushes captain level participants to the ends of their abilities. It delineates both strengths and weaknesses and allows even high level captains like Byakuya to target areas for improvement with extreme accuracy."

"So…he was supposed to collapse like that?" Renji asked, gazing at Byakuya's unmoving form.

"They all do, eventually, but Byakuya really pushes the envelope. If he had lasted much longer, I think we would have seen smoke billowing from this console. He's in a mandatory resting phase. It restores the participant at an accelerated rate, otherwise the simulation would have to be completed over a number of days. Still, it does wear on the body to be pushed like this. If he completes the entire module, he will need a full day to recover completely."

"Jushiro…I need to know, why do you think Byakuya is pushing himself this hard? I mean, I know he is coming back from an extended period of captivity and leave time, but…is it normal for him to tackle something this challenging so soon?"

Ukitake shook his head.

"Usually, there is a protocol that we follow to gradually rebuild strength, stamina, and power. When Byakuya was recovering from the injury from Gin's blade, he actually followed the protocol. Even when he returned from Hueco Mundo after the first time Aizen abducted him, he followed it. He is deviating from it for a reason. And if I had to guess, I'd say he is being very calculated about it."

"What do you mean?" Renji asked, his eyes on Byakuya.

"I'd say that he needs to strengthen himself quickly for something that will happen soon. Renji, if I were you, I would keep a very close eye on him. Whatever he is planning, it's going to happen quickly. Ah! Get back to the viewing room. He's waking up."

Renji dashed back to the viewing room as Byakuya climbed to his feet in the simulation room.

"Captain's Challenge Module, Segment Two, Swordsmanship, Stage One."

Byakuya drew Senbonzkura and stepped forward as a soul reaper appeared, drawing his sword and moving quickly to attack. Renji watched them exchange strikes and parries. He noticed quickly that the soul reaper, although below Byakuya's level at the beginning, was slowly gaining strength and precision. In addition, he didn't fall even when Byakuya dealt him what should have been fatal blows. Renji realized suddenly that this segment must test the level of swordsmanship. He was proven correct when the soul reaper finally landed an attack on Byakuya and then suddenly disappeared. Ukitake's voice sounded softly in the simulation and viewing rooms.

"Very impressive, Byakuya…Level is Exceptional. Swordsmanship, Stage Two, Endurance Barrage."

Renji sat back, already knowing what was coming and anxious to watch. As with the first segment, Byakuya was faced with a round of single opponents of growing ability, then was dealt a barrage of multiple opponents. He felt a surge of adrenaline go through him as Byakuya's spiritual pressure rose until it rumbled through the training room and his movements became a blur. He had to admit that watching Byakuya like this was even better than when he watched at the training ground at the park in the living world. He was using his flash step now, dropping the soul reapers with amazing speed and a ferocity that almost unnerved Renji. Like Ukitake, he was now convinced that Byakuya was planning something. Renji knew better than to try to approach him about it, especially after Byakuya's reaction to his questions about Gin's actions back at the 6th division office. But he was absolutely determined to find out what was going on, and to make sure that he was there for Byakuya…through whatever it was that was about to happen. He watched in awe as Byakuya flash stepped and spun among an impossible number of opponents, taking hits now that stained his pale skin and white haori with a growing redness. Renji was more than a bit anxious at the sight, but figured that this was simply another aspect of what made this module so difficult. Hopefully, he thought, the wounds would be healed when he fell. He was proven correct some time later when exhaustion finally weakened the captain so that an opponent connected with a fatal strike and Byakuya fell again, opponents and injuries fading before his body hit the ground.

"Wow! I've never seen him get hit like that…not by anything. This module is some roughhouse shit!" said a voice next to Renji.

Renji looked up in surprise, suddenly noticing that he was no longer alone in the simulator viewing room. Ikkaku, the speaker was seated beside Renji with Yumichika and Kenpachi Zaraki on his other side. Yachiru peeked over Zaraki's shoulder and laughed.

"Wow, Kenny! You didn't do that much damage when you sparred with him!"

"That's because we did real damage to each other. We had to wear limiters. This gets healed instantly as it occurs, so you get the shock, but you don't die. Seems like kind of a waste to me, but it does let you fight all out, no holds barred until you drop or take a fatal hit. Personally, I wouldn't have pegged Kuchiki as one who'd like this kind of thing…but what do I know?"

"What's next?" asked Yumichika.

"Kidou," said Ikkaku, "then…Armageddon."

"Armageddon? What's that?" asked Renji.

"It's everything but the kitchen sink," Zaraki said, smiling, "You choose one or two opponent combat and choose from an array of captain's level opponents with their corresponding zanpakutou. All attack modes are possible, hand to hand, small weapons, sword strikes, kidou, and released zanpakuto. Most often, released zanpakutou is deadly enough on it's own, but put that with the rest…and you might as well be dueling the real person. If you fall, it resets…until you defeat it, until you yield, or until you cannot fight any more. Armageddon."

"Shit," Renji breathed.

"Anyone want to lay bets on how long he lasts?" asked Ikkaku.

"Perhaps we should wait to see what he takes on in the final segment," suggested Zaraki.

Out on the simulation field, Byakuya was stirring again. He climbed to his feet and motioned to Ukitake to begin the next segment.

"Captain's Challenge Module, Kidou Segment, Stage One, Level Assess," said Ukitake.

"Get ready for some serious thunder," commented Ikkaku.

Byakuya's spiritual pressure rose until the simulation room shook with it and it sent a tremor through the viewing room. A target appeared ahead of Byakuya. The captain assumed a deep fighting stance and placed his hands close together. Slowly, a blue ball of energy began to form between his palms. He focused heavily as the room shook madly around him, raising the power until Renji was sure that the energy ball would simply explode in Byakuya's face. Renji had, in fact, had it happen to him a few times at the soul reaper academy and he remembered that it was not fun. Of course, Byakuya wielded more power and had more control than Renji could believe he would ever have. By the time Byakuya lifted his eyes and took aim at the target, his body was lit from within with blue fire, his eyes flaring with a frightening blue glow. When he released the ball of energy, it flashed across the room and connected with the target, sending a heavy shock wave through the building.

"Sweet," commented Zaraki.

"Shit," said Renji, unable to find another word.

"Range…short to long, power level…high, damage…devastating," Ukitake reported, "Captain's Challenge Module, Kidou Segment, Stage Two, Endurance Barrage."

"Hang on, Renji," warned Ikkaku, "This is going to get dicey."

Byakuya stood in the center of the room and raised his spiritual pressure again, forming an energy shield around himself. The simulator emitted a bright pulse. Byakuya's shield flashed in response.

"Shield Level…High, Setting Attack Level…Mid to High."

Byakuya's shield fell and he waited calmly. The first attack, a red ball of flame, was nullified almost as it began. Almost as part of the same move, Byakuya flash stepped out of the way of a bolt of white lightning Renji hadn't even seen coming. He flash stepped again, firing his own kidou blast and disabling one of the simulation kidou launchers. He turned in a sweeping arc, barely managing to nullify a ball of blue energy before it would have taken off his head. In the viewing room, Renji gasped sharply.

"That was close," he breathed.

Byakuya flash stepped again and dropped to the ground, ducking under another fiery kidou blast. His return fire took out a second kidou launcher as he rolled to his feet, his haori flaring around him. The attacks were coming faster now, so fast that they lit the simulation room with multicolored light. Renji found himself entranced by the swirling motion of Byakuya's body as he flash stepped, rolled, and fired kidou blasts in an intricate dance that seemed to move ever faster until Renji could only tell where Byakuya was because of a telltale flash of white in the haze of colors. His mind was spinning now, and he couldn't imagine that Byakuya could last much longer. He was surprised at how long the captain held out before his power faded, his blocking shield failed, and a huge ball of red fire sent him crashing to the floor, sending up a cloud of dust around him.

"Beautiful!" said Zaraki appreciatively.

Ikkaku and Yumichika applauded. Renji noticed then that more soul reapers had joined them. Rangiku now sat next to Captain Hitsugaya, and Kira and Hinamori sat behind them. Shunsui had joined Ukitake at the simulation console. All eyes watched as the timer ticked off the minutes remaining until the final segment. Inside the simulation room, Byakuya laid still in the place where he had fallen.

XXXXXXXXXX

_I have been in the darkness for far too long…my mind clouded with self-doubt, my body poisoned with torment and violation, my heart empty and cold with loss. I lost everything, everything that meant anything. Disillusioned and broken, I was ready to die, if not in body, then in mind and heart…hollow. Hollow. That's what I thought I was, even then, but I did not know the meaning of the word. Because even those monsters of Hueco Mundo had more life in them than I was left with. And even knowing that help was coming, I abandoned hope in the end. I was weak._

_But I was brought back into the light again. Healers restored my broken body, the support of a friend recovered my mind, and the unwavering strength of love made my heart feel again._

_Still, there are scars everywhere. No one sees them but me because they hide beneath my pale perfect skin. They live on in the quiet corners of my mind. They tear at my newly healed heart. There is only one path before me. To take back what I have lost, I must grow strong again. So I throw my body against the simulated threats until it drops from exhaustion. I fill my hands with power until I am seared with its fire. Again and again, I fall before my enemy…until I find the way…to defeat him. When I am done, he will face my fury…one so strong it strikes me blind._

_XXXXXXXXXX_

"He's moving," whispered Hinamori.

Her voice sounded odd to Renji, perhaps because she had been so quiet since Aizen's departure from the Sereitei. She had come a long way in her healing, but there was something in her that still seemed lost.

They watched as Byakuya climbed to his feet, brushing away the dust and looking at Ukitake…waiting.

"Okay, Byakuya, Captain's Challenge, Final Segment, Duel. One or Two Opponents?"

"Two," Byakuya said softly.

The viewing room went silent in anticipation…but Renji suddenly knew what they were about to hear. He understood what had made Byakuya come here, and why he was pushing himself so hard. He didn't know whether to feel scared to death, encouraged or excited. He held his breath, tears threatening as his suspicions were confirmed.

"Opponent Names?" Ukitake breathed.

"Sousuke Aizen and Ichimaru Gin," Byakuya replied, and Renji heard the harsh edge of pure hatred as he said their names.

Hinamori gasped sharply. Toshiro and Rangiku moved forward and placed bracing hands on her shoulder. Renji studied her carefully for a moment.

"Maybe you shouldn't stay here for this," Renji suggested gently, "Maybe this isn't a good idea for you or Kira. You guys have been through a lot."

There was a long silence.

"I think we need to stay," Hinamori said finally, and Kira nodded.

"We have been through a lot," Kira admitted, "but we weren't strong enough to fight it. We lived, but now we deal with the scars, and we cannot do anything but move on and try to forget. We are not like him. We haven't the strength to fight back."

Renji stared silently at Byakuya, at the firm set of his stance, the relaxed grip on Senbonzakura, and the smoldering rage rising in his eyes. He suddenly felt afraid for him. He wanted no more than to bust into that simulator, drag him out, and talk some sense into him. The only thing that stopped him was the look of pride that was in those dark eyes. He was going to forget his pain, forget his weakness…and he was going to fight back. All Renji could do now was to be there for him…and hope that there was something left of him when all was said and done.

"Byakuya, are you sure?" asked Ukitake.

Byakuya silenced him with a furious glare and Ukitake nodded slowly and punched the simulator buttons, swallowing a hard knot of concern.

"Any bets on whether he defeats them? How many tries it will take?" Ikkaku asked softly.

"Shut up," said Renji, his eyes fixed on Byakuya.

On the simulator field, Byakuya stood ready, Senbonzakura drawn and glowing, spiritual pressure rising around them. Across from him, two forms were appearing, slowing resolving into the bodies of Aizen and Gin. In the viewing room, Hinamori caught her breath and gripped Toshiro's arm. On the field, Byakuya stepped forward.

"He has to win," Hinamori said softly.

The simulation began. Kyouka Suigetsu flashed and Byakuya fell immediately. Gin never moved. The scene reset itself and Byakuya climbed to his feet, shaking his head as if to clear it.

"He won't stop trying," she went on, "until his body can't move anymore."

The simulation began again. Byakuya shielded his eyes…and Shinzou dealt him an instantly fatal blow. He took the blow without making a sound, dropping to the ground in a pool of blood. The simulation reset itself and the blood faded away. Byakuya climbed to his feet again.

"He has the strength we don't, even though he doubts himself."

The simulation began. Gin attacked immediately and Byakuya flash stepped away. The golden light of Kyouka Suigetsu rose up as he released his zanpakuto just a moment too slow. Shinzou pierced his body and he fell again. The simulator reset and he rose. The viewing room was deadly quiet now except for the soft breathy voice of Aizen's former vice-captain.

"We need for him to do this."

The simulation began. This time, Byakuya released Senbonzakura immediately, shielding him from both attacking zanpakutous. He then tried to release his Ban Kai, but Aizen had used Kyouka Suigetsu. Scores of copies of Aizen and Gin flooded the room. Byakuya reached out with his senses. He managed to cross swords with Shinzou as Kyouka Suigetsu landed a killing blow. Byakuya fell again. The simulation reset. This time, it took longer for him to climb to his feet.

"Byakuya?" Ukitake said in askance.

The captain's glare silenced him. The simulation began again. This time, Byakuya raised a kidou shield, then tried to release his Ban Kai. The kidou shield stopped Shinzou, but the golden light of Kyouka Suigetsu passed through and gripped him, holding him frozen while Shinzou slammed into the kidou shield and shattered it, then slashed at Byakuya again. Byakuya fell. He stayed down longer, working to catch his breath, then dragging himself to his feet. In the viewing room, Renji breathed a sigh of relief.

"Byakuya…the console reads…"

"Shut up," Byakuya said in a dead-calm voice, "Override it. I'll tell you when I'm done."

"I'll need approval from another captain…"

Shunsui shook his head.

"No way…I'm not that crazy. You should listen to Jushiro."

Byakuya's head turned slowly in the direction of the viewing room and it seemed to Renji as though his former captain could see through the one-way glass. Renji froze.

"He knows we're here," Renji said softly, "He wants…"

"Don't trouble yourself, Renji, I've got this," Zaraki said, rising and walking back to the simulator console.

Byakuya's eyes followed Zaraki and Renji read the gratitude in them. He felt sickness rising inside him. He wanted badly to get out of there, but he couldn't leave. He couldn't leave Byakuya there like that. He had no choice but to wait and watch. He glanced at Hinamori and saw a tear roll down her cheek. In the simulator, Aizen and Gin appeared again. This time, Byakuya released a burst of intermittent kidou blasts. They were far too small to cause damage. Renji stared in confusion…then he realized that the small attacks had an unexpected effect. They blinded Byakuya briefly, so he couldn't see Kyouka Suigetsu's release. At the same time, he flash stepped away and blocked Shinzou's first strike. He spun, releasing more kidou and evaded Shinzou again. He began his Ban Kai release.

"Ban Kai, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."

Swords rose up around him, bursting into thousands of petal blades that soared towards his enemies. Shinzou bobbed and danced, tearing into the blades, but Gin was no longer able to attack. Byakuya sent an attack toward Aizen, then released another burst of kidou and flash stepped toward Aizen. Senbonzakura slashed downward, sending Aizen to the ground, but a second later Shinzou tore through Byakuya's body, dropping him again. For a moment, he didn't move. Then he moved his hand and knee to brace himself and pushed upward. His chest heaved, but he managed to push himself onto his hands and knees. A moment later, an alarm sounded.

"Byakuya," said Ukitake, "You need to stop, now."

Byakuya was on his knees now, catching his breath.

"No," he said between breaths, "Continue."

With an effort, he dragged himself to his feet again. In the viewing room, Hinamori was crying softly into Toshiro's shoulder.

"Momo," Toshiro said softly, "We should go now."

"No," she whispered, "He needs us here."

"What?" asked Toshiro, looking up at Byakuya.

"He knows what Captains Aizen and Gin did to us. He knows what they did to him. He needs to know we are here so he can find the strength to keep going."

"He could kill himself," Rangiku said in a worried tone.

"No," said Toshiro, "Jushiro won't let him."

But Jushiro Ukitake wasn't in control anymore. Ikkaku and Yumichika had joined Kenpachi Zaraki at the console and the two officers now held Ukitake and Shunsui at bay while Zaraki took control of the console. He turned off the alarm and lifted his eyes to meet Byakuya's.

"So you want to go all out, Byakuya? I like your spirit. I always knew you had it in you. I warn you, though, I'll give you no quarter. You are going to beat these guys…or I'm going to let them kill you. I don't have to stop you…and believe me, I won't. You will beat them now or you will die!"

Byakuya said nothing, but fell into a guard stance. The simulation began. Byakuya released kidou and flash stepped, then blocked Shinzou. He blocked a high level kidou released by Aizen and released more of his own kidou, flash stepping again and blocking Shinzou. Gin's blade caught his arm, but the damage was minor. He released more small kidou blasts and managed to release his zanpakutou. Using his hands, he drowned Aizen in a sea of blades, then raised a shield of blades that blocked Shinzou. He flash stepped again, releasing more kidou. He flash stepped again to Gin's side. Their swords crossed and turned into a sea of deadly cuts and parries. Blood was flowing on both sides now. Aizen was stepping forward. Turning suddenly, he raised Kyouka Suigetsu. Byakuya released kidou again, blindly slashing at Gin at the same time. Senbonzakura connected and Gin fell to his knees. Byakuya released another burst of kidou, then dealt Gin the killing blow. Gin fell, still smiling. Aizen raised Kyouka Suigetsu and Byakuya released a blinding burst of kidou, then flash stepped toward Aizen and slashed at where he had been. But he did not connect. He sensed Aizen's strike and managed to flash step aside, taking a slash to his outer thigh. His leg was unstable now. Aizen stepped in, knowing that Byakuya's movement was hindered and slashed again. Byakuya blocked the move, but nearly fell as he spun away. Aizen flash stepped again and his sword cut into Byakuya's sword arm, then slashed across his body. Still, Byakuya did not fall. As Aizen closed in on him, he read the movement, then forced his torn body into a hard forward roll and came up slashing, tearing across Aizen's body and sending him crashing to the ground. The simulation faded and Byakuya's injuries slowly disappeared.

"Captain's Challenge Module Complete," breathed Zaraki, "You can fall now, Kuchiki."

But Byakuya didn't fall. He stood in the center of the training room, braced on shaking legs, his breath coming in short gasps, but his eyes were bright with triumph. He started to take a step and almost fell, then he stopped, his dark eyes moving back toward the viewing room. Renji suddenly knew what Byakuya wanted.

"You should go to him," said Hinamori, seeming to read his mind, "He doesn't want to fall now…not here…not in front of all of us."

Before Renji realized what he was doing, his flash step had carried him into the simulation room and to Byakuya's side. Without pausing to think, he swept Byakuya into his arms and flash stepped away, out of the training building and across the streets of the Sereitei, so fast they could not be seen. He felt tired arms loop around his neck and a sweat soaked head fall against his shoulder. Two words reached Renji's ears as he carried Byakuya home.

"Arigato, Renji."

He burst into the manor, past the surprised eyes and the hail of questions, down the hallway and into their bedroom, where he set the captain gently down onto the bed. Byakuya sat still on the edge of the bed as Renji pulled off his dusty clothes and handed him a clean yukata. Byakuya slipped it around himself and fastened the tie, then fell back, his eyes drooping with exhaustion.

"Just promise me one thing, Byakuya," Renji said softly, "When you go after them…take me with you. I want those bastards to pay as much as you do."


End file.
